Alien in my Toilet!

By

The X-Filer

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I am not afraid of the alien clogging up my toilet

I may be holding a cricket bat but that doesn't mean I'm afraid, oh no!

But I'll tell you one thing though, I really don't appreciate it.

Because now I really have to go!

I asked him nicely to leave

I even offered a happy meal

But no, he wouldn't budge

So I tried to use force and let me tell you never try force on an alien that is clogged up

in your toilet

Whoa boy! It's not a pretty sight

People do not flush! It just makes matters worst with the overflow!

So when all else failed, I called Scully

Mind you it didn't go down well when I said I had an alien jammed in my toilet

You know what she said?

I'll tell you… she said

"Mulder it's 3am!"

Well duh! Like I didn't know that, but I really had to go to the toilet!

So anyways with some pleading and some convincing I finally got her to reason with

me… she hung up

So now here I am busting to go and all she could do to help me was hang up on me.

Well that's alright for her, she has unlimited access to her throne.

Sighs

So now I've been holding on for like hours as I sit here on the couch in the lounge

room looking at the bathroom door with my cricket bat. I looked at the clock and come to realise it's only been 15 minutes.

I did have a thought pass through my mind. I remembered I had some gasoline in my closet from a while back

Why I have gasoline you ask? Well I can't really say but for situations like this aren't you glad you got some, I know I am.

So as I lift the drum of gasoline and enter the bathroom I had a thought pass through my mind…

I wonder what barbequed alien would taste like?

Mmm Alien…

So I start to poor the gasoline over the little sucker and ignored him as he squeaked at me. I then pulled out a match and lit it, then threw it in and shut the lid of the toilet quickly and stacked a pile of magazines on it, suddenly there was a…

BOOM!!

I was flown back through the door and hit the couch that fell over from the shaking of the apartment

Man! I hope the landlord didn't hear that. When the shaking finally stopped I went back to the bathroom with a bag to survey the damage. Well what was left of it anyways and to my delight I saw the alien impaled into the wall of the bathroom, fully burnt to a crisp. I carefully got a fork and peeled it into the bag and that's when it hit me

My toilet had gone down stairs to my neighbour Mrs Muddle Fuddle!

Now Mrs Muddle Fuddle was always the polite but I swear the words she was saying weren't anything close to polite. So I decided to get out of there and head on over to

Scully's, well I was still busting after all.

So I rocked up on her door and knocked, when she open she didn't look pleased to see me

"Mulder it's 4am, this better be good!" So I showed her the proof of my alien that had been clogging up my toilet. I shoved the bag in her face and gloated

"And you said there wasn't an alien!"

I thought I was right, I was convinced even after my toilet was blown to a crisp, I had an alien in my toilet

I was convinced until Scully said

"Mulder it's a rat" I looked at the bag for a moment then shoved it in her hands

"You might want to do an autopsy on it, cause of death unknown" I pushed passed her and entered her bathroom and sighed with relief

Well you have to admit, 2 bottles of alcohol sure does go through you on an empty stomach.

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A/N

I don't know what gave me the idea

But I hope you liked it!

Even if I made someone smile lol

That's all that matters

Let me know if you liked it

Thanks for reading!

Enjoy!