Hi guys! So I was able to recover this story from . I'm still trying to get "Call Me" back and a few other stories I'd like. I used this website recommended to me called waybackmachine. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get the rest of "Call Me." But I hope you enjoy this story. If you have read the original, there are no changes besides some punctuation and grammar. And if anybody knows any other way to access the old friendscafe website please let me know! Anyway-happy reading and reviews are always appreciated!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of the story.
Poison Candy
He was alone; again; as always. And she was there with him, in their apartment, hugging, touching, and kissing. He would get to know her in a way that only himself should know her. But he knew that she could never feel anything for anyone else like she did for him. He was her first love and there's nothing that can compare to your first love. I don't need her. I don't love her. If she can move on so can I. He reminded himself of his girlfriend Charlie- beautiful, big brown eyed, sexy, paleontologist, his girlfriend Charlie. She wants you. Rachel doesn't. He stretched out onto the couch, massaging his head with his fingertips. His mind immediately went to the nights when she would do this for him. He closed his eyes trying to rid his mind of her. But when it didn't work he gave in, and she came in blurring his mind's eye. He smiled at the realization of how easily she comes to him. Breaking him from his thoughts was a soft knock on the door, but in his ears it should've been a gun shot. The love of his life he can't have plus a heavy hangover is not sitting well with him. Slowly he stood up and answered the door. "Hey you," her voice pierced through his eardrums and million memories of her saying those two words cluttered his mind.
"Please don't say that," he pleaded as he walked back into his apartment. He sat on his couch and leaned back against it.
"Why not?" she questioned, shutting the door behind her. He couldn't even find a reason; he just didn't want to hear it.
"Why are you here?"
"I wanted to check on you. You know after last night…" her voice trailed off. Last night came rushing back to him, smacking him in the face.
"I'm fine," he said for the umpteenth time.
"You're lying."
"Why do you care?"
"Why shouldn't I?"
"I'm not him."
"Look, I really think we should talk about all this."
"Talk?" he scoffed. "All we ever do is talk and it never gets us anywhere!"
"Please I-"
"No you wanna talk? Let's talk! How about we begin at the beginning: HIGHSCHOOL! I fall madly in love with you and nothing happens. 1994: you run back into my life, literally, and I once again fall in love with you and nothing happens. Then we kiss, there's that stupid list, then the prom video, and the planetarium, and- and when we yelled 'I love you,' at each other, and the fat, and the break up, then being together. Then apart. Then together. Then apart. I say your name at my wedding and that turns to shit. Then we get married and divorced. We have Emma and I give up all women for you while you kiss that jackass. And there's no proposal. And now we're apart after everything and you're dating my best friend and any chance that I ever had with you is gone. After numerous times of being so God damned close to being with you, he gets you." He finishes out of breath. Staring down at the floor, wishing she would just leave.
"My turn?" she asks quietly. He says nothing. She takes that as her queue to continue. She sits herself down next to him on the brown leather couch. "I wanna talk about our break up," this catches his attention.
"What about it?" he says moving his eyes only enough to see her knees.
"I know how much the whole Mark thing hurt you and our date as well. I know that it was soon for me to be seeing someone else, but the reason I did it was to get back at you, to hurt you. I've tried to understand why you slept with her but I can't. I mean I still picture you with her sometimes randomly, and I just get so angry. It was our one year anniversary! A whole year of being with each other finally. And you- you just threw it all away after one fight," he couldn't understand how any of this relevant but he wanted to argue, to yell, especially at her.
"I thought we were over. I thought you were with Mark. I was just trying to move on."
"But how could you move on so fast!" she shot back immediately.
"What?"
"You said you were in love with me!" she stood up from the couch and paced fiercely in front of him. "You had our whole life planned out in Scarsdale! You- you knew about taxes! And our kids' names! Our everything," she stopped and looked at him: sad face, dark eyes, and a scruffy beard that made her want to pounce on him.
"I don't know why I slept with her. At the time…it made sense, but all of that left when I got your call that morning."
"What about when you said my name at the wedding?"
"I wanted it to be you. In my head I was so lost in the thought of our wedding. I forgot all about the real one for a few seconds."
"I'll say," a playful smile pulled at her lips.
"Why him?"
"He's crazy about me."
I'm crazy about you.
"And he makes me happy."
I make you happy.
"Do you love him?"
"Not yet," his heart sank. Not yet. The words rang in his ears, joining the pounding in his head.
"Do you love me?"
"Always," she spoke without thinking twice. The words burned, and the tears stung their eyes. He walked over to the window running a hand down his face. He peered into Monica's apartment where he spotted his four friends and an uneasy girlfriend. He switched his focus to her hand on his shoulder. He tried to remember the single touch: her long fingers flexing against the fabric of his shirt, her hot palm pressed against it, radiating to his skin; the feel of her standing behind him. "Ross," she turned him half way around placing herself in front of him. Taking his face in between her hands, she caressed the rough scratchy beard that graced his face. "Forget to shave?" she joked lightly. Shy, he looked down at the ground between them. She smiled at this common quirk of his. She slid her hands down his neck settling them on his shoulders. "I do love you," she tried to connect her eyes to his. He looked up at her hopelessly. "I love you," she admitted once more in a whisper.
"I love you," he revealed. She moved her mouth up to his kissing him softly, reacquainting his lips with her own. She pressed herself against him as his arms locked around her waist. She sighed into his mouth as the kiss deepened. His lips desperately clung to hers knowing this could be the last time he ever kisses her. The phone broke them from their reverie. He slowly pulled away from her, kissing her gently. When she felt him start slipping out of her arms she grasped his shirt tightly.
"Ignore it, please" she begged. He nodded.
"What about us, Rach?" he asked sadly. The ringing finally ceased.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I wish I could say I did but I really don't."
Silence hovered around them. She felt him slip out of her arms and watched him walk over to the arm chair. She remembered when they were going out and would always squeeze their two bodies onto one of the small comfortable chairs. Suddenly she had the urge to do the very thing. Before the intellect of her conscience could tell her no, her will beat it and she lowered herself onto his lap. He didn't look up at her; he just wrapped his arms around her middle. She stroked his hair and neck as his head rested on her chest.
"Remember when I was yours?" he questioned.
"Yeah," she felt him take a deep breath and let it out rigidly. Something wet and warm came into contact with the fabric of her shirt, soaking her skin just the tiniest bit. Her stomach became a mess of knots. "I'm so sorry, Ross," she stated lamely.
"Me too," he replied softly. His hands pressed against her hips and she took the hint to stand up. What was she thinking? Sitting on his lap and holding him like it was the nineties all over again?
He also pushed himself out of the chair. Walking to the back of the apartment's living room, he dragged his hand over his face. "Say something," she pleaded.
"What do you want me to say?" he countered coldly. "That I'm happy for you? For him? That-that I've accepted that all of our chances of being together are over? Do you want to hear that I don't feel betrayed by my so called best friends? Is that what you want me to tell you?"
"No," he heard the shaky edge to her voice but tried his best to keep his back turned to her.
"Then what? What do you want from me? You might as well tell me because you know I'll do it. I always give you what you want."
"I-I just," he turned to her this time.
"You just what?"
"Please, Ross-"
"Please what? Dammit Rachel! Finish your sentence!" He shouted. His heart stopped when he saw her face crumble. She buried her face in her hands as a sob wracked through her thin frame. "Rach?" he asked through his constricted throat. Being only arms' length away from him, he reached out a trembling hand pulling her to him. She shuffled over to him letting herself being enveloped in his arms. She snaked her arms around his neck and hid her tear streaked face in his shoulder. And for a few minutes they just held each other. Her sobs resided, and neither of them pulled away or tried to make the hug into something more. After what seemed like a year of silence she spoke up.
"Ross," her voice cracked. She closed her eyes before pulling away enough to look at him. She all but whispered, "I think we should break up."
"Umm…what… I don't," he muttered, a puzzled expression taking over his features.
"Break up for good," she explained. "Since things ended between us, we've both been waiting for something to happen. But it never works. We don't work. We need to break up. End everything that has held us back from moving on. A part of me will always be yours and a part of you will always be mine but we need to let go," she was surprised by her own words as they flowed so easily over her tongue and through her lips so steadily. The rejected expression on his face broke her. She watched as his eyes glazed over before he was able to speak.
"I'm not ready to let go. I don't want to let you go."
"Me either but we have too," she choked out. "I can't keep hurting you." Her hand lovingly stroked his face, memorizing the feeling of her skin on his.
"You're right, we're no good for each other," he lied.
"Yeah," she nodded falsely agreeing, tightening her grip on him.
"So I-I guess… this is good-bye then."
"Yeah," she repeated.
"Good-bye," nano-seconds after their mouths collided. After a few short lingering kisses between them he captured her bottom lip between his sucking on it softly. Their tongues met in a familiar dance. He wanted to take it further, feel her skin stuck to his, hear her soft moans, taste her kiss repeatedly, touch every inch of her, and see her face lying next to his in the morning. But any advancement he could make was halted when his door flew open causing her to break the kiss abruptly.
"What the hell is going on?!" he hears his sister shriek.
"Mon, relax we were just-" Rachel's explanation was interrupted by Monica's accusing tone.
"About to go have sex? Create more drama for yourselves? Your boyfriend and your girlfriend can see you! I mean I know you two can be-"
"We! Were just breaking up," Rachel stated loudly. "For good," she added more quietly. Her arms found their way around his torso, holding him tightly as his arms wound around her small frame. She leaned her head onto his chest as he kissed the top of her head.
"Oh," Monica squeaked quietly. Rachel looked up at Ross for some sort of sign of what to do, but he just planted another kiss on her forehead.
Monica, growing uncomfortable, excused herself. "I'll just go then." She moved to the door and heard Ross murmur a short "Thank you" before she shut it.
"What now?" he asked pushing back some of her hair.
"I should probably leave," she said solemnly.
"No, just stay a little longer. Please."
"I have to leave sometime, Ross."
"I know just not now."
"Ross-" he cut her off with a kiss.
"Please shut up," he said before kissing her again. Giving in, she wrapped her hands around his neck holding him to her tightly. He lifted her up off the ground the slightest bit and moved them over to the couch. He lay down on his back with her on top of him. After endless minutes of kissing she pulled away to look at him sliding her body comfortably to the inside of the couch.
"I'm gonna miss you," she told him. Her eyes welled up before she broke completely, burying her face into his chest.
"Me too, so much," she lifted her head and nuzzled her nose against his and for about an hour they laid together, basking in each other's close proximity. Their reverie was interrupted when a soft knock was heard on the other side of the door. "Go away!" he yelled sleepily and Rachel laughed against him snuggling herself closer to him. A louder knock sounded this time. Ross gave in and pushed himself up from his spot. He opened the door revealing a nervous and agitated looking Joey and Charlie.
"Hi," Joey said quietly while Charlie threw daggers at him with her eyes.
"Hey come on in," he opened the door more to let them in. Rachel sat up on the couch whipping her eyes.
"Hey sweetie," she said to Joey. Ross' heart fell at the sound of her calling him "sweetie." It was gone. They were here, and any time that the two of them had left together was lost.
"Hi," Ross kissed Charlie lightly on the cheek.
"Umm I think we're gonna go," he hears Joey say from behind. When Ross turns he see Rachel's hand linked in his.
"Ok, bye," he says looking at her. She holds his gaze even when she's walking out the door. He moves out into the hall way watching them walk away, completely forgetting about the woman waiting for him in his apartment. When they're almost to the stairs he absentmindedly yells her name. He runs and they meet in the middle.
"What?" she asks breathless. He wraps his arms around her slender waist and looks into her familiar eyes.
"Sorry, I just…I just wanted to hold you."
"It's ok, I don't mind," she says rubbing her nose to his.
"Rach?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I love you too," she said giggling at the deja vu.
"Well I'm gonna kiss you now."
"Well you better!" and they shared their first last kiss.