Everything is Ok
"Jackson, I'm really sorry," she paused, hesitating about whether or not she should tell him, "I'm…I'm pregnant," April finally blurted out. Jackson had been probing for almost three days trying to find out why he had found her crying in an on-call room. She had run out of the room and done her best to avoid him since then. But being roommates made that near impossible. Now, he had cornered her in the kitchen and demanded that his best friend put aside any sexual tension or awkwardness and tell him what was going on.
He stood there staring at her for a few desperately quiet moments, both in shock and trying to formulate a coherent response. "Ok…," he finally blurted out. He closed the gap between them and pulled her into a tight embrace, breathing in a whiff of her decadent floral-smelling shampoo.
Both realized that words were not going to help in this moment, and April was endlessly happy for his embrace. Maybe, she thought, just maybe this is going to be ok.
"Let's go into my room and talk about this," Jackson whispered in her ear as he gave her a squeeze. He grabbed her tiny hand and led her up the stairs of Meredith's house. Their bedrooms were the only space where anyone could be alone in Meredith's self-proclaimed "frat" house.
He shut the door quietly behind them and led her to the bed. She climbed onto his giant king-size mattress, and resisted the urge to cringe, knowing that this mattress may very well have been the place where their child had been conceived. It wasn't even four months ago that she was a 29-year-old virgin, who had made a promise to God to abstain from having sex until she was married. She scooted to the end of the bed and sat indian style, while Jackson propped himself against the headboard and crossed his legs at his ankles.
"Ok. April, I'm in a little bit of shock right now. Is it ok if I start by asking a few questions so I can get a better grasp of the situation?" She nodded, her eyes focused on a loose string on her yoga pants. She couldn't fathom looking him in the eyes.
"When did you find out?"
"Three days ago…When you found me in the on-call room crying."
"Did you do a home pregnancy test?"
April meekly nodded. "Yes, and when it came out positive I did a blood test at the hospital. I am definitely pregnant." The last sentence trailed off as a single tear rolled down her right cheek.
Unlike April, Jackson could not take his quizzical eyes off of the brunette sitting opposite of him. "Have you been to a OB/GYN yet? Or made an appointment?"
"No. I wanted to wait until I told you. I know what I want to do, but it's your baby too, so I want to make sure we are on the same page." She briefly looked up at him before quickly re-focusing her attention to the snag in her pants. This was the single scariest part of telling Jackson. She wanted to keep this baby. She had already broken one promise to God. There was no way that she would have an abortion on top of that. She was an adult who was perfectly capable to taking care of a child.
As if Jackson had completely missed or just wanted to ignore April's hidden question of his intentions, he said, "I don't understand how this happened." He lowered his face to his hand and rubbed his temples. As he raised his head he saw April slowly starting to unravel. The single tear he saw earlier had multiplied, adding the need for a quiet sniffle here and there.
"We were safe. Even before you started the pill, we used a condom every time" he continued. She had no response and she used the back of her hand to wipe away her tears.
"April," he said, addressing her directly and pausing as a silent way of demanding that she look him in the eyes. She slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze. "You said you know what you want to do. You want to keep the baby, don't you?"
April hesitated, trying to read his expressionless face. Without knowing what his reaction would be, she finally said in an almost-whisper, "Yes," and her eyes quickly fell back to her lap.
In no time at all Jackson had re-positioned himself and his arms were now wrapped so tightly around her that she felt like she could hardly breathe. They stayed this way for what seemed like an hour before she gently pulled away from him.
"Jackson," she asked, "Can you tell me what you are thinking? Do you want to keep the baby? If it were only your decision would you get rid of it? Do you want me to raise it on my own? I don't want you to feel trapped. I know that we are just friends turned sex buddies. I don't want you to think that I'm strapping you down." She asked a million questions at lightning speed, in a typical April-freaking-out kind of way.
"Woah. Apes. Slow down." He gently used his index finger to lift her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "I'm going to answer all of those questions once and only once so listen closely." He grabbed both of her hands now. "You, April Kepner, are not strapping me down. And neither is this baby. I will admit right now that I am not ready to become a father, just as you are probably not ready to become a mother. But I want children, April. I especially want children with a partner that I am best friends with and that I care about deeply. You are that person for me. So did we plan this? Nope. But you and I are going to be the most kick-ass parents to this kid." His gaze shifted down to her stomach and he released one of his hands from hers and placed it on her still-flat stomach. "And we are going to be kick-ass parents together. Ok?"
"Ok." She said, as she simultaneously smiled and released tears of joy. Yes. She thought. Everything is going to be ok.
He moved both of hands to her face grabbing her and pulling her in for a passionate and loving kiss. When he finally released her he wiped her tears, stared into her green eyes and said, "We're having a baby!"