"Have you lost your mind?"
Harry flinched at the words, or rather at the way that the man who was asking them had thrown his coat onto the chair in an act of anger.
Harry found himself shrugging, unable to actually speak. It had been quite some time since he had been reprimanded in such a way and he didn't like the tone of Remus' voice one bit.
"Did you not hear me yell out for you to stop?"
Harry nodded. He supposed he could have denied ever hearing Remus' stern yet scared voice yelling at him but he didn't think it would be believable nor did he think it would help his situation any.
Remus was walking towards Harry now and without consulting him at all, Harry's feet started moving backwards. Harry felt his back touch the wall seconds before Remus grabbed a firm hold on his shoulders.
The man who had once been his favorite teacher gave him a rough shake.
"Do you think this is some sort of game that we are all playing? Do you think that risks like the one you took tonight are in any way a wise move?"
"No Sir," Harry quickly shook his head.
He hadn't referred to Remus as Sir in nearly three years, however, doing so was not awkward at all. The title easily exited Harry's mouth without any hesitation.
Harry's eyes studied Remus' normally calm and pleasant demeanor. His eyebrows were lowered, forming wrinkles in the skin of his forehead, his nostrils were flaring, his cheeks were flushed, and his lips were pressed into a tight line. He was breathing heavier than Harry had ever heard in the past.
"She killed Sirius," Harry tried to explain. "She was taunting me about it and-"
"I don't care what she was doing! She was taunting you because she knew it would cause you to react and she was right! You have got to learn to practice self –control!"
As the last few words withdrew from his mouth, Harry felt Remus' hands tighten on his shoulders once more as he gave him another firm shake.
"You were completely in the wrong tonight," Remus continued. "I know exactly how both your godfather and your father would handle this if they were standing in this room, but unfortunately they are not."
Harry felt his ears burn at Remus' words. For the first time he was really seeing the severity of what he had done. He had been told countless times throughout his life to keep himself out of danger and he had run directly into it. Even worse, Ginny had followed him.
Remus finally let go of his grip on Harry's shoulders. He took a step backwards, giving Harry a bit more breathing room.
Harry watched as the man pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut tightly.
"You know it was Sirius who wanted you in the Order meetings?" Remus asked as his hand dropped and his eyes opened once more.
"I'm sorry?" Harry asked.
He was sure that he had heard the man wrong. It wasn't until after his godfather had been long gone that he had been invited to attend the meetings, there was no way on earth that that had been Sirius' doing.
"He had been pushing for it for quite a while…Molly was against it of course, but Sirius was adamant that you were mature enough to handle the information…to keep yourself out of danger. After he passed Arthur and I hounded Molly about it until she gave in."
Harry felt his heart beat into his rib cage as he digested Remus' words. He had proven his godfather wrong and that hurt.
"The way I see it you have two choices here Harry. You can either be exempt from the Order meetings from now on or you can be punished for your actions tonight."
"Pun…punished?"
Harry hated himself for stuttering over the word.
"As I've just said I know how both your father and your godfather would have handled this and I know from the look on your face that you understand what I am referring to," Remus paused for a moment giving Harry just enough time to turn red in the face, verifying the man's every word. "It's quite simple Harry. You either acted like a foolish little boy or a selfish, inconsiderate adult. If you were acting like an adult and thought about the situation as an adult would and went ahead and did it anyway, then you are indeed quite selfish and inconsiderate and the Order does not have room for someone of that nature. If you were acting like a child…in the moment without giving thought to the consequences of your actions…then of course you are forgiven but you will be punished as a child would…or rather as you have in the past for putting your life in danger. The decision is yours."
"I'm sixteen," Harry couldn't help but point out with a hint of a whine in his voice.
Remus nodded. "That you are and as I've just explained to you if you want to be treated as an adult you certainly can be."
Harry nearly stamped his foot in frustration as he tried to weigh his options. He didn't want to be excluded from the Order meetings or for Remus to think of him as selfish and inconsiderate. However, he certainly did not want a spanking either.
In the short time he had spent with his godfather as his legal guardian, the man had only punished him once. Harry had taken a foolish risk and ventured into Knockturn Alley where he had nearly gotten himself killed. His godfather had been furious and had then gone quite solemn as he administered the punishment. It hadn't been the most painful experience of Harry's life but he certainly didn't want to experience it again either.
"I'm going to give you one more moment to make up your mind and then I am going to assume that you wish to be treated as an adult in which case I will contact the other Order members and-"
"No," Harry cut him off shaking his head fiercely. "I didn't run after her because I was acting selfish or inconsiderate. I was being stupid…a complete prat."
Harry could already feel the large lump forming in his throat, the tears welling up in his eyes.
"Very well then, let's get this over with."
Harry watched as Remus turned and crossed the room.
The man sat on the edge of the sofa before beckoning Harry over with a wave of his hand.
Harry tried to hold on to some of his dignity as he walked towards Remus. He was trying to convince himself that he would not cry; that no matter what Remus did to him he would remain stoic.
The moment he was in front of the man, Remus reached out and undid the button of his jeans, pushing them to his knees with one strong pull.
Harry was about to open his mouth to protest but before he could he found himself being guided over his lap.
All thoughts of keeping his emotions at bay were gone as Harry felt the first few tears begin to spill out of his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Harry offered in a voice just above a whisper.
Remus did not verbally respond, he instead let his hand do the talking for him.
Harry's body jerked forward as the first hard spank took him by surprise. A dozen more followed causing his tears to fall faster.
It was somewhere around the sixteenth or seventeenth time that Remus' hand fell that Harry had begun to squirm. He tried to refrain but could hardly help the way his feet were kicking or the way his legs were twitching. It was taking every ounce of self-control he had in him not to physically reach his hand back in an attempt to protect his bum.
Remus did not lecture as he doled out the punishment. The room was silent aside from the sound of Remus' hand making contact and Harry's sobs.
Harry was sure that Remus had been spanking him for hours and he was sure that the man wasn't going to stop anytime soon, when suddenly it ended.
Harry felt the hand that had only seconds ago been attacking his bum gently begin to rub his back.
He stayed over Remus' knee, crying into the soft fabric of the sofa cushion for several long moments before he felt Remus' hands gently helping him to stand.
The moment his feet were firmly on the ground, Remus reached down and pulled up his jeans, securing the button once more.
"I'm sorry," Harry offered. The words came out in a hoarse tone, his throat now scratchy from his tears.
Once again Remus did not respond but instead brought a hand up, cupping the back on the boy's neck. Remus gently pulled him forward before releasing his neck and bringing up his other arm, enveloping Harry into a hug.
Harry's face instantly found the small space between Remus' shoulder and neck. His tears continued to fall as he felt Remus pull him onto his lap, allowing him to now sit on his knee.
There were words that Remus could have spoken. He could have reminded Harry that everyone was willing to risk their lives to help and protect him but that he couldn't risk his own for a foolish reason. He could have reminded him that his parents and his godfather had died to keep him alive.
He remained silent though. Harry knew all of these things and saying them now would only be insensitive and repetitive, two things that Remus had no desire to be.
"I was stupid," Harry choked out the words. "So stupid."
Remus nodded in agreement. "Yes; but it is over now…taken care of…and I know that in the future you will never act so stupidly again."
"Never," Harry agreed.
Had the boy been younger, had this scene been playing out before Remus when Harry was say twelve or even thirteen, he would have been attempting to stifle a laugh at the child's words. He knew Harry was right though…he knew this would be the last time.