PLEASURE (Part 1) by Sievert Dinar
Version 2.0
Disclaimer - Sailormoon is owned by a lot of people, most of whom
are not me, so don't get all worked up about my using the
characters in ways they weren't meant. I'm just a common or garden
fanfic writer without a hope in this dark and cruel world. Maybe.
Warning - R rated fic
This fanfic is, essentially, a horror story, and contains scenes
that could be regarded as disturbing to people. I dare suggest
that you behave responsibly whilst reading this.
The girl was not running away. Not anymore. She
understood. Understood what SHE had been trying to tell her all
this time. There was no point in trying to fight. Life was just
too hard, and now the war was over. It thrilled HER to see the
girl, sitting in the easement, in the darkness of the night, not
enough energy to even cry. Total despondency written across her
face. So good, SHE thought. It was right, of that she was sure.
She approached the girl, her feet padding across the
footpath as a few spots of rain struck the top of her head. She
looked up at the sky. Even it knew there was no point fighting the
end. She returned to the girl, who had shown no sign that she had
even noticed her presence.
She had chosen the girl after she had seen her cry, having
been dumped by her boyfriend of some three years. At sixteen that
could be said to be an inordinately long time for a relationship.
It was certainly a proportionately large whack out of the girl's
life. It had struck her like a bolt out of the blue when he told
her he didn't feel anything for her, anymore. What was his name
again? Hiroshi.... Yes, that was it. She had worked on him for
some time, telling him that there was no point in continuing the
relationship with Azusa. It would end, eventually, as all
relationships did, in anger, confusion, hurt and disgrace. And
betrayal, she couldn't forget that. Betrayal was the best of her
weapons... It was the EASIEST for her to prove. She had gone
through every moment of their relationship, pointing out the little
things that could have meant nothing, and magnified them beyond all
reason, making them seem like they were the greatest slurs.
And then, of course, there was Azusa. The red-haired girl
certainly attracted her... She liked those she worked with to be
good-looking. That prettiness, even now, shone through in her
glazen-eyed expression of despair. She watched as the rain grew
heavier, falling atop Azusa's hair, dampening the two small cloth
bun-like adornments that would have been cute under any other
circumstance. Well, SHE thought they were cute, but then she did
like them to be suicidal.
She stepped right up to Azusa. The girl was still in her
school uniform, having rushed here during afternoon recess. when
Hiroshi had abandoned her. So sad... The principal had notified
Azusa's parents of her absence, and eventually the police. In the
mood she was in, anything could happen. It WAS going to happen, of
course. After all, that was why she had done this to the girl...
To achieve what she knew to be right. So that, when those looking
for her eventually found her, it would be FAR too late.
Azusa finally noticed her presence. It was almost as if
she had snapped out of a dream. Well, maybe not completely out of
it. Her gaze still seemed fairly clouded, but there was the
vaguest expression of recognition in her eyes.
"You..." Azusa croaked. Her voice carried no energy. Not
the energy of one who wanted to be alive, anyway. That was good.
She had been sure she'd made her feel bad enough to make today's
bombshell destroy the last of that fire. "It was you, all this
time." A smile crossed Azusa's face. "I should have guessed."
"You didn't." SHE replied, then lowered down to Azusa's
level. The girl pulled up her legs, as if trying to press herself
into the wall behind her. "What is this?" SHE said. "Are you
still afraid of me?"
Azusa seemed to relax. "Not anymore." She lowered her
head to her knees, then seemed to be about to fall to her side.
SHE caught her before she did, holding her in HER arms.
"I told you. I told you time and time again... But you
never listened to me." SHE whispered in Azusa's ear. "I only
wanted to make you happy."
"I was a fool." Azusa started to sob. "I can't believe,
all this time, everything I was living up to this point... Could
it all have been a lie?"
"Yes. Yes, everything was. Not just Hiroshi...
Everything about your life has been a lie." SHE smiled, gently
stroking Azusa's wet hair. "Your parents, too. You understand
that, don't you?" Azusa's sobbing increased, making her body
quiver uncontrollably. "Yes. You do, don't you. How they could
have lied and betrayed you, so frequently, I'll never know."
"I... allowed them." Azusa mumbled softly. "That Papa was
not my REAL father. That Mama had been unfaithful, and had given
birth to me, a bastard child." Her back arched, as if in pain.
Well, SHE thought, it was a kind of pain. "That Papa... That Papa
then had a relationship with another woman, to get back at Mama...
That my sister wasn't even related to me..."
"She hates you, you know."
"Hated me. Always hated me. She ALWAYS knew. Why could
they tell her and not me?" Azusa started to slip forward in her
grip, and was caught in time before her face hit the ground. It
was almost as if she had become a rag doll, without the energy to
hold herself up. SHE smiled, sitting back against the wall and
lifting Azusa into her lap, one arm wrapped around her whilst the
other stroked her face.
"You don't have the energy to go on any more, do you?
You're so weak, now..."
"Please..." Azusa croaked. "Do what you promised... and
kill me." Azusa's eyes raised to her face. SHE nodded and lifted
the razor blade from the pocket of her coat.
"It would be better..." SHE placed the blade in Azusa's
limp hand. "...If you were to make the final act, yourself. Then
I can take your spirit into my care, where you shall never feel
pain again."
Azusa peered down at the softly glinting metal of the
blade, then slowly took it between her fingers. "I don't know...
Not much energy left..."
"You can do it." SHE petted Azusa's forehead. "You're so
pretty, you know, when you've lost it all."
"I want to stay young and pretty forever." Azusa
swallowed. But all this pain... It ages you, you know?"
"I know. It was I who told you so."
Azusa shivered, then held the blade up to her left wrist.
After a few moments, both wrists were flowing freely.
Azusa had given out a couple of cries of pain as she had mutilated
herself, but nothing else. SHE smiled... The girl was truly
destined for the pleasures of death.
"Feels strange." Azusa murmured. "I'm starting to feel
happy again. I wonder why..."
"It's the release." SHE whispered, gently. "Everything is
over, now. You have nothing to worry about, anymore. Once death
has claimed you, there shall be no more pain, no more struggle.
Just an eternity of peace in the realm of my love."
"Love..." Azusa smiled, then she looked worried. "You
won't betray me, like everyone else?"
"Betray?" SHE looked offended. "Oh my sweet child, I
could never betray those who come to me. I have no will to do
such. It is the purpose of my existence, to give everyone that
final sense of happiness."
Azusa's face softened. "That's good." She paused. "Hold
me a little tighter... It's starting to get cold." SHE did so,
and watched with joy as Azusa closed her eyes, smiled, and slowly
slipped away...
And SHE felt the girl's spirit enter the dimension of
safety that SHE had created for all those who came to HER. Safe.
Forever. Slowly, SHE stood, discarding the now-useless flesh of
the girl's body. The real Azusa was elsewhere. Taking the blade
from Azusa's right hand, SHE looked down at the spots of blood on
the front of HER own dress and cursed. SHE so hated the physical
world... It was messy and unclean. Better the spiritual one. So
much easier to understand.
And, almost as if reacting to her thoughts, the blood
fizzled away and vanished. Her clothes were as clean as they had
ever been.
As SHE pocketed the blade and walked away from the
easement, SHE made a mental note that SHE couldn't remain in that
school any longer. With the deaths of at least seven students, the
school's reputation would now be mud. Too many students,
frightened of what appeared to be a growing curse, for HER to work
with.
There was Hiroshi, of course, but SHE could always get him
on the rebound. No, SHE had to find another school. One with a
vaguely interesting history attached to it. Especially of recent.
SHE wandererd away from the scene, looking for all the
world as if SHE'd seen nothing and knew less. The rain continued,
but SHE didn't mind. After a while, it wasn't even hitting HER,
just passing through and striking the ground. Nobody who saw HER
approach the shops noticed this, of course. When out in public,
SHE made damn sure SHE fitted in.
The shopping street was still busy, being just outside the
local train station. Commuters who had travelled some hours from
work made each train arrival like a mini rush hour for those shops
that stayed open. Within just such a crowd, SHE blended in, and
paused as SHE approached the news stand.
SAILORSENSHI DEFEAT GANG IN JYUUBAN DISTRICT
Local Police still baffled as to identities of vigilante girls
SHE stared at the headline on the front of the newspaper,
picking it up from its already-low pile. SHE slowly read the
article and rubbed her chin, coming to a conclusion.
"Excuse me..?" The voice of the news stand proprietor, a
chubby man in his late fifties, brought HER back to the real world
SHE hated so much. "If you want to read it, then buy it. I'm not
here as a public service."
"Oh, you've been a great service to me." SHE smiled at him,
lowering the paper back onto the stand. "And I'm sure I can repay
you in kind, one day. How old is your granddaughter?"
The proprietor looked at HER in wary confusion. "What is it
to you? Get outta here, kid, or I'll make a complaint to your
school." He pointed to the school uniform SHE was wearing.
"Although, considering the school, I'm surprised they'd want their
students running around at night. Bad enough as it is."
The smile didn't disappear from HER face. "It doesn't
matter. I'm changing schools." SHE patted the newspaper, and
disappeared into the crowd. Into the night...
The End of Part One
=^.^= niya
Sievert Anathea Dienar sievertd@start.com.au
Version 2.0
Disclaimer - Sailormoon is owned by a lot of people, most of whom
are not me, so don't get all worked up about my using the
characters in ways they weren't meant. I'm just a common or garden
fanfic writer without a hope in this dark and cruel world. Maybe.
Warning - R rated fic
This fanfic is, essentially, a horror story, and contains scenes
that could be regarded as disturbing to people. I dare suggest
that you behave responsibly whilst reading this.
The girl was not running away. Not anymore. She
understood. Understood what SHE had been trying to tell her all
this time. There was no point in trying to fight. Life was just
too hard, and now the war was over. It thrilled HER to see the
girl, sitting in the easement, in the darkness of the night, not
enough energy to even cry. Total despondency written across her
face. So good, SHE thought. It was right, of that she was sure.
She approached the girl, her feet padding across the
footpath as a few spots of rain struck the top of her head. She
looked up at the sky. Even it knew there was no point fighting the
end. She returned to the girl, who had shown no sign that she had
even noticed her presence.
She had chosen the girl after she had seen her cry, having
been dumped by her boyfriend of some three years. At sixteen that
could be said to be an inordinately long time for a relationship.
It was certainly a proportionately large whack out of the girl's
life. It had struck her like a bolt out of the blue when he told
her he didn't feel anything for her, anymore. What was his name
again? Hiroshi.... Yes, that was it. She had worked on him for
some time, telling him that there was no point in continuing the
relationship with Azusa. It would end, eventually, as all
relationships did, in anger, confusion, hurt and disgrace. And
betrayal, she couldn't forget that. Betrayal was the best of her
weapons... It was the EASIEST for her to prove. She had gone
through every moment of their relationship, pointing out the little
things that could have meant nothing, and magnified them beyond all
reason, making them seem like they were the greatest slurs.
And then, of course, there was Azusa. The red-haired girl
certainly attracted her... She liked those she worked with to be
good-looking. That prettiness, even now, shone through in her
glazen-eyed expression of despair. She watched as the rain grew
heavier, falling atop Azusa's hair, dampening the two small cloth
bun-like adornments that would have been cute under any other
circumstance. Well, SHE thought they were cute, but then she did
like them to be suicidal.
She stepped right up to Azusa. The girl was still in her
school uniform, having rushed here during afternoon recess. when
Hiroshi had abandoned her. So sad... The principal had notified
Azusa's parents of her absence, and eventually the police. In the
mood she was in, anything could happen. It WAS going to happen, of
course. After all, that was why she had done this to the girl...
To achieve what she knew to be right. So that, when those looking
for her eventually found her, it would be FAR too late.
Azusa finally noticed her presence. It was almost as if
she had snapped out of a dream. Well, maybe not completely out of
it. Her gaze still seemed fairly clouded, but there was the
vaguest expression of recognition in her eyes.
"You..." Azusa croaked. Her voice carried no energy. Not
the energy of one who wanted to be alive, anyway. That was good.
She had been sure she'd made her feel bad enough to make today's
bombshell destroy the last of that fire. "It was you, all this
time." A smile crossed Azusa's face. "I should have guessed."
"You didn't." SHE replied, then lowered down to Azusa's
level. The girl pulled up her legs, as if trying to press herself
into the wall behind her. "What is this?" SHE said. "Are you
still afraid of me?"
Azusa seemed to relax. "Not anymore." She lowered her
head to her knees, then seemed to be about to fall to her side.
SHE caught her before she did, holding her in HER arms.
"I told you. I told you time and time again... But you
never listened to me." SHE whispered in Azusa's ear. "I only
wanted to make you happy."
"I was a fool." Azusa started to sob. "I can't believe,
all this time, everything I was living up to this point... Could
it all have been a lie?"
"Yes. Yes, everything was. Not just Hiroshi...
Everything about your life has been a lie." SHE smiled, gently
stroking Azusa's wet hair. "Your parents, too. You understand
that, don't you?" Azusa's sobbing increased, making her body
quiver uncontrollably. "Yes. You do, don't you. How they could
have lied and betrayed you, so frequently, I'll never know."
"I... allowed them." Azusa mumbled softly. "That Papa was
not my REAL father. That Mama had been unfaithful, and had given
birth to me, a bastard child." Her back arched, as if in pain.
Well, SHE thought, it was a kind of pain. "That Papa... That Papa
then had a relationship with another woman, to get back at Mama...
That my sister wasn't even related to me..."
"She hates you, you know."
"Hated me. Always hated me. She ALWAYS knew. Why could
they tell her and not me?" Azusa started to slip forward in her
grip, and was caught in time before her face hit the ground. It
was almost as if she had become a rag doll, without the energy to
hold herself up. SHE smiled, sitting back against the wall and
lifting Azusa into her lap, one arm wrapped around her whilst the
other stroked her face.
"You don't have the energy to go on any more, do you?
You're so weak, now..."
"Please..." Azusa croaked. "Do what you promised... and
kill me." Azusa's eyes raised to her face. SHE nodded and lifted
the razor blade from the pocket of her coat.
"It would be better..." SHE placed the blade in Azusa's
limp hand. "...If you were to make the final act, yourself. Then
I can take your spirit into my care, where you shall never feel
pain again."
Azusa peered down at the softly glinting metal of the
blade, then slowly took it between her fingers. "I don't know...
Not much energy left..."
"You can do it." SHE petted Azusa's forehead. "You're so
pretty, you know, when you've lost it all."
"I want to stay young and pretty forever." Azusa
swallowed. But all this pain... It ages you, you know?"
"I know. It was I who told you so."
Azusa shivered, then held the blade up to her left wrist.
After a few moments, both wrists were flowing freely.
Azusa had given out a couple of cries of pain as she had mutilated
herself, but nothing else. SHE smiled... The girl was truly
destined for the pleasures of death.
"Feels strange." Azusa murmured. "I'm starting to feel
happy again. I wonder why..."
"It's the release." SHE whispered, gently. "Everything is
over, now. You have nothing to worry about, anymore. Once death
has claimed you, there shall be no more pain, no more struggle.
Just an eternity of peace in the realm of my love."
"Love..." Azusa smiled, then she looked worried. "You
won't betray me, like everyone else?"
"Betray?" SHE looked offended. "Oh my sweet child, I
could never betray those who come to me. I have no will to do
such. It is the purpose of my existence, to give everyone that
final sense of happiness."
Azusa's face softened. "That's good." She paused. "Hold
me a little tighter... It's starting to get cold." SHE did so,
and watched with joy as Azusa closed her eyes, smiled, and slowly
slipped away...
And SHE felt the girl's spirit enter the dimension of
safety that SHE had created for all those who came to HER. Safe.
Forever. Slowly, SHE stood, discarding the now-useless flesh of
the girl's body. The real Azusa was elsewhere. Taking the blade
from Azusa's right hand, SHE looked down at the spots of blood on
the front of HER own dress and cursed. SHE so hated the physical
world... It was messy and unclean. Better the spiritual one. So
much easier to understand.
And, almost as if reacting to her thoughts, the blood
fizzled away and vanished. Her clothes were as clean as they had
ever been.
As SHE pocketed the blade and walked away from the
easement, SHE made a mental note that SHE couldn't remain in that
school any longer. With the deaths of at least seven students, the
school's reputation would now be mud. Too many students,
frightened of what appeared to be a growing curse, for HER to work
with.
There was Hiroshi, of course, but SHE could always get him
on the rebound. No, SHE had to find another school. One with a
vaguely interesting history attached to it. Especially of recent.
SHE wandererd away from the scene, looking for all the
world as if SHE'd seen nothing and knew less. The rain continued,
but SHE didn't mind. After a while, it wasn't even hitting HER,
just passing through and striking the ground. Nobody who saw HER
approach the shops noticed this, of course. When out in public,
SHE made damn sure SHE fitted in.
The shopping street was still busy, being just outside the
local train station. Commuters who had travelled some hours from
work made each train arrival like a mini rush hour for those shops
that stayed open. Within just such a crowd, SHE blended in, and
paused as SHE approached the news stand.
SAILORSENSHI DEFEAT GANG IN JYUUBAN DISTRICT
Local Police still baffled as to identities of vigilante girls
SHE stared at the headline on the front of the newspaper,
picking it up from its already-low pile. SHE slowly read the
article and rubbed her chin, coming to a conclusion.
"Excuse me..?" The voice of the news stand proprietor, a
chubby man in his late fifties, brought HER back to the real world
SHE hated so much. "If you want to read it, then buy it. I'm not
here as a public service."
"Oh, you've been a great service to me." SHE smiled at him,
lowering the paper back onto the stand. "And I'm sure I can repay
you in kind, one day. How old is your granddaughter?"
The proprietor looked at HER in wary confusion. "What is it
to you? Get outta here, kid, or I'll make a complaint to your
school." He pointed to the school uniform SHE was wearing.
"Although, considering the school, I'm surprised they'd want their
students running around at night. Bad enough as it is."
The smile didn't disappear from HER face. "It doesn't
matter. I'm changing schools." SHE patted the newspaper, and
disappeared into the crowd. Into the night...
The End of Part One
=^.^= niya
Sievert Anathea Dienar sievertd@start.com.au