A/N: Well, this ended up being a LOT longer than planned! Holy crap, it was only meant to be like 2k! Anyway, the idea for this came to me in a feverish state of Nezushi feels when I read that chapter in the manga (forgot which) where Shion's all like "I'm glad I met you" and Nezumi's inwardly thinking that one day they might being going "I wish we'd never met" and all that emotional stuff. So, I pondered for a day, planned for an evening and wrote for another day and here it is! I hope you enjoy, and please review!
Disclaimer: No. 6 is not mine, I regret to say.
Better Left Unsaid
Shion was desperately trying to scrape a partly-burned potato from the bottom of the soup pot when Nezumi entered the bunker, a chilly draft creeping in behind him. It was raining outside, Shion gathered from Nezumi's damp, drooping ponytail and the dripping remnants of his stage eye make-up.
Shion smiled brightly at the other boy. "Hello, Nezumi!" he chirped. "How was your day?"
Nezumi walked past him without acknowledgement and flopped onto the bed, heedless of his wet clothes and dirty boots.
Shion stifled a laugh. "Not great, then?" he asked. The wall of silence didn't so much as tremble. "Oh, come on, I'm sure a tiny 'hello' wouldn't kill you!"
"Mhhmmhm," Nezumi muttered into the pillow.
Shion chuckled. "Huh? Sorry, I can't quite hear you."
Nezumi lifted his head and glared at Shion with full force. "I said, 'shut up'!" he growled, not a hint of play in his eyes.
Shion blinked, and his smile dissolved a little. "I'm only asking how your day was."
"I don't care what you were asking!" Nezumi snapped, flipping over to lie on his back, muddy boots leaving prints on the blanket. "No one cares how my damn day was, either."
Shion pouted. "I care," he mumbled.
"And that's just the thing, isn't it," Nezumi drawled with biting sarcasm. "You don't care, why would you? You just asked because manners were drip-fed into that freaky No. 6 brain of yours from birth!"
"I do care," Shion insisted, scowling. "And I don't have a 'No. 6 brain'. What even is that, anyway?"
"A pink, flabby organ infused with prejudice, apathy and idiocy." Nezumi bit out the words. "Wanna open up your skull and take a look?"
Shion bristled, offended. "I'm nothing like that!" he cried. "Why are you being so cruel?" Nezumi was never like this, unrelentingly angry; he was always teasing in some way or another.
"This is me," Nezumi told him coldly. "This is the real world. Go running back to your mama if you don't like it."
Tears were beginning to smart behind Shion's eyes. "I can't go back, even if I wanted to, remember? They'd kill me!"
Nezumi's face didn't even twitch and he continued to stare uncaringly at the ceiling. "They'd kill all of us if they got the chance. What makes you so special?"
"Stop that!" Shion yelled, forcing back his angry tears. He could feel his face turning red.
"Stop what?" Nezumi provoked infuriatingly.
"Turning all my words on their heads! That's not what I meant, Nezumi, and you know it!"
"How would I know it?" Nezumi asked, voice rising. "We barely know each other!"
Shion's mouth fell open. "What? How can you say that? We've saved each other's lives!"
Nezumi scoffed. "And so? Your doctors supposedly save lives every day. Do they intimately know each and every one of their patients?"
"We share a bed!" Shion squeaked.
"It's not like we've had sex in it," Nezumi pointed out. "Why are you acting like these things mean we have any sort of relationship? They mean nothing!"
Shion was sure he was purple in the face by now, his fury was so palpable. "They mean everything! Why are you being like this? I only wanted a hello!" And now Shion was regretting opening his mouth in the first place. How had everything gone so wrong so quickly?
"Why should I give you a hello when I don't feel like it?" Nezumi demanded. "What makes you entitled to it? Our unbreakable bond of life over death?" His voice was sharp and bitter, like poison.
"That's what polite people do!" Shion shouted, voice cracking up an octave.
"Do I look polite to you?!" Nezumi yelled back. "I'm tired and wet and I have eyeliner smeared all down my face. I have no interest in your spoiled little whinging about hellos!"
"It's not spoiled!"
"It is, and so are you! You're a spoiled little No. 6 brat who's never even had sex with a woman! I don't know why I ever got you out, you're such a pain in the ass! I wish we'd never met!"
The sudden silence was deafening.
Vaguely surprised by the unexpected lack of response, Nezumi glanced to where Shion stood at the stove. The boy appeared frozen, back stiff and straight as if a wire were pulling him taut. His motionless hand still gripped the wooden spoon. The half of his face that Nezumi could see looked horrified.
A small, vicious smirk tugged at the corner of Nezumi's lips. That one shut him up.
Shion inhaled shakily, grasping Nezumi's attention once again. "You didn't mean that," he whispered quietly.
"What makes you so sure?" Nezumi replied, lowering his voice also. "You can't think you're an easy guy to live with."
"I know you don't mean it. Take it back." To Nezumi's ears, Shion half-sounded as if he were begging.
Nezumi took an exaggerated breath and gazed up at the ceiling again, miming consideration. Glancing back at the other boy, he was surprised by the stutter in his heartbeat upon seeing the slow tears sliding their way down Shion's cheek.
Maybe I did go a little too far. His life's been uprooted, and I'm the only thing keeping him grounded.
His pride twisted his words. "Words aren't things you can just take back, Shion."
Shion gulped back a sob and Nezumi winced, guilt stabbing into him. Shion's fists were balled, and his eyes squeezed shut, sending more tears dripping onto his shirt.
Nezumi pushed himself up on his arms slightly. "Hey, Shion..." he began gently, far too late.
He only barely dodged the spoon (still coated in scalding soup) flung his way. He ignored the clatter it made when it ricocheted off the wall as he scrambled up to try and stop Shion from running out the door. His boots caught in the blanket, and Nezumi went down hard. He shouted, but the slamming of the door drowned out his voice. By the time he'd staggered upright again, all that was left of Shion was his fading footfalls heading out into the driving storm outside.
Cursing Shion's idiocy and his own inability to stop before he'd had the last word, Nezumi followed him outside, grabbing Shion's coat from where it hung beside the jamb. The dumbass would freeze, having a temper tantrum out there.
Stepping into the wild storm, the limited portions of Nezumi that had managed to dry inside were promptly doused again with freezing, driving bullets of rain. Teeth beginning to chatter almost immediately, Nezumi wrapped his hands in Shion's coat, making sure to keep its lining dry, and moved onward. He could barely see, what with the rain and the wind plastering his hair across his eyes, and no matter how hard Nezumi squinted, he could not find Shion.
He took a deep breath. "Oi! Shion!" he yelled, as loud as his voice could go. The wind ripped the words from his lips. "Come on out, I know you're here somewhere!"
No reply, at least not one that Nezumi's ears could pick up.
He huffed in irritation. "You'll freeze your ass off out here!" he shouted. When no reply came, he resorted to desperate measures. "Fine! I was an asshole, are you happy now?! Come back inside and I'll tell you all about my shitty day if you're really that interested!"
Nothing.
Nezumi angrily swiped the hair out of his eyes and strained to catch a flash of white in the fierce storm. Seeing nothing, he felt panic claw at his ribcage. "I'm sorry!" he screamed. That would bring the airhead out of hiding. It had to.
It didn't.
The wind howled almost as loud as Nezumi.
"Shion!"
Nezumi sat on their couch, a hot bowl of soup in front of him and his foot tapping restlessly against the ground.
At least an hour must have passed, and Shion had not returned. Nezumi's heart was beating a frantic tattoo against his chest, never mind that he'd barely moved for half an hour. Shion, the emotional idiot, would freeze to death in this storm if he didn't find shelter, and the only shelter available to him apart from the bunker was Inukashi's hotel, a good twenty minute walk away in this weather – and anyway, Shion had no money.
Nezumi scrubbed a hand over his tired, dirty face and heaved a sigh.
I shouldn't have said any of that, he thought. I should have just given him his bloody hello and left it the hell alone.
Nezumi had had a terrible day. Five hours of dress rehearsal with one of the worst acting troupes he'd ever met in his life, with minimal breaks and only slightly more payment. Then – to make matters worse – one of the troupe had decided that, now he was working with the famous Eve, he was entitled to crawl into his bed as well.
Nezumi did not take kindly to randy youths fondling him not-too-gently through his dress and, apparently, the randy youth did not take kindly to getting punched solidly in the nose for his trouble.
The whole fiasco had taken nearly an hour to sort out, and Nezumi's manager had threatened to dock his wages if something like that ever happened again. His wages! Like he was just supposed to lie down and let every single gross adolescent that came along rip off his clothes and fuck him without so much as a 'nice to meet you'. It made Nezumi sick.
It was only when he was already half-way home that he'd realised he still had make-up plastered all over his face which, while explaining the increase in horny looks he'd received, did nothing to improve Nezumi's mood. The foundation and the lipstick had come off without too much of a fuss; the eyeliner and mascara not so much.
All in all, Shion had really picked the worst day to say hello.
Groaning, Nezumi rubbed his tired eyes and got up to heat the soup again, so it would be ready for Shion when he came back. It was late and he had work early the next day, but Nezumi's racing, panicked heart wouldn't have let him sleep in any case.
Inevitably, though, after two more hours of waiting and countless re-heatings of the soup, Nezumi finally collapsed on the sofa and passed out, still in his soaking clothes and filthy boots.
The first thing Nezumi noticed when he woke up was that Shion had not returned. The soup still sat in front of him, untouched and stone cold. Nezumi's heart settled like a rock in his stomach.
Shit, was his first thought, he'll have fucking frozen.
God, was his second, please, God, no.
Shion could be annoying, yes, but Nezumi had known that long before he'd ever decided to save him. He was naïve and weak and too damn cheerful, but Nezumi had become used to it in the weeks they'd been living together. Sometimes looking at Shion was so painful that Nezumi had to avert his eyes from the display of unsullied innocence and kindness, and it was a constant fear of his that Shion would one day realise what a gutter-dwelling cretin Nezumi was – would one day wish they had never met. His words the night before had been a defence mechanism; completely unwarranted, but a defence mechanism all the same. The only way to stop someone from hurting you was to hurt them first, after all.
But all over a damn hello!
Nezumi swore, lurching upright, although his stiff muscles and swimming head made him wince and totter. The dress rehearsal could go on without him, docked wages be damned. Nezumi strode out of the bunker to find his friend.
He returned long after sundown, exhausted and frustrated.
Where the fuck is he hiding? He'd searched the entirety of the West Block top to bottom, even asking people when he'd got anxious enough. There wasn't a single trace of Shion.
Nezumi opened the door to the bunker, and his heart leapt when he saw a figure sitting on the couch.
"The hell have you been, you asshole?! I've been here for ages!"
His heart sank again. It was Inukashi.
"I went out," he said flatly, unwrapping his scarf and hanging up his coat. "What are you and your smelly mutt doing here?"
The mongrel on the floor growled as if it knew it was being insulted.
Inukashi ignored him. "Shion was supposed to be washing my dogs this afternoon, but he didn't show up."
Nezumi kept silent and walked past her, putting some water on the hob to boil.
"Oi, Nezumi! Where the hell is Shion?"
"Out," Nezumi said, not looking at her.
This seemed to infuriate Inukashi even more. "Out where?! What did you do to him?"
"Nothing," Nezumi insisted angrily, before he realised Inukashi might actually be able to help. "...we had a fight last night and he ran out. I've been looking for him all day."
Inukashi's face was a picture of incredulity. "Last night?" she repeated. "In that insane storm?"
Nezumi nodded.
Inukashi was speechless. "Fuck. Where did he go?"
"I don't know," Nezumi spat. "I thought he might have gone to you for shelter, but obviously not."
"He might have gone to the other hotels, nearer..."
"He didn't have any money."
"Maybe he managed to –" Inukashi's eyes fell upon Shion's coat, folded on the end of the sofa. "Is that his coat?!"
Nezumi turned back to the water.
"Holy shit, Nezumi, did he leave without his coat?!"
"What the fuck do you think?!" Nezumi snapped.
Inukashi's face became solemn. "Shit. Nezumi, in that storm, without a coat, without shelter..."
"Shut up," Nezumi growled.
"...Shion's dead," Inukashi finished quietly. "There's no way, unless he managed to blag his way into a hotel less than five minutes away. And we both know how likely that is."
Nezumi shoved the pan off the hot element and collapsed onto the sofa, not trusting his legs to hold him up. He held his head in his hands. "I really fucked up," he moaned. "I really, really fucked up. It was so stupid –"
"Yeah," Inukashi butted in. "You're fucking stupid too! How could you let him go out in that! What did you even say to him?"
Nezumi didn't want to tell her, so he kept his silence.
Inukashi threw up her hands. "Fine. Don't tell me anything. Give me his coat, I'll put my best dogs on it." She snatched up the coat. "If I don't find him by midnight, I'm cutting my losses, Nezumi!" she called as she walked out of the room. "It's fucking cold out there!"
She pretended not to care, but Nezumi could hear the pain in her voice. How had Shion managed to worm his way so deeply into their lives here? He was supposed to be a foreigner, an alien thing not to be trusted.
Nezumi felt the tears coming, but he couldn't let them fall. He had to stay strong, because if Shion walked in while he was crying, Nezumi would never live it down.
It must have been around two in the morning when there came a knock on the bunker door. Nezumi, who had been slumped on the sofa, ran to open it, only for his face to fall.
It was Inukashi. She'd brought Rikiga with her.
Nezumi rolled his eyes. "What are you doing here?" he asked flatly, standing pointedly in the doorway.
"We found Shion," Inukashi said.
Nezumi immediately began to look around. "Where is he? Outside still?" It was possible Shion still didn't want to face him, after all.
Inukashi grimaced. "Uh...not exactly..."
"Shion didn't want to come back," Rikiga butted in, looking smug. "In fact, he begged me not to make him."
Nezumi rolled his eyes. "You really think I'm going to fall for that dramatic bullshit?" he snorted. "I'm an actor."
"He's not exaggerating," Inukashi said. "He begged me, too."
Nezumi's brow furrowed. "Begged you? Why? I mean, I know I hurt his feelings –"
"You did," Rikiga butted in.
Nezumi ignored him. "...but I've been an ass before. Why is he so cut up about this time?"
Inukashi shrugged. "He didn't want to tell us what happened any more than you did, but from what I can gather, he doesn't think you want him around anymore."
Nezumi inhaled a sharp, shocked breath before he recovered his mask. "Well, that's easily fixable. All I have to do is some embarrassing grovelling and we'll be right as rain. Now where is he?" He fixed them with eyes made of granite.
"At my place," Rikiga said. He held out an arm before Nezumi could get out of the door. "But we need to have a little chat first."
"I'm not interested in your stupid stern talks!" Nezumi spat. "The point is, I can take care of Shion much better than you will ever be able to, so get out of my fucking way!"
"Shion doesn't seem to think so," Rikiga said calmly, though a hint of his smugness flavoured his tone. He walked into the bunker, forcing Nezumi backwards as he went. "We need to talk," he repeated, shooting a significant look at Inukashi.
"I'd better be getting back," the dog-girl said. "It's late, and cold. Oh, and Nezumi?" He glanced at her. "If you fuck up with Shion again, I'll send ten of my dogs to eat your person, you got that?"
Nezumi shut the door in her face.
"What's this 'we need to talk' crap about, then?" he asked, turning to face Rikiga.
"Exactly what it sounds like. We need to talk. About Shion, and whether it's wise for him to be staying with you for now."
Nezumi's expression twisted in fury. "Wise?! Of course it's wise, I –"
"– have obviously said something that made Shion think it was not wise," Rikiga finished for him, not quite keeping down his smug smile, though it quickly vanished. "Eve, I'm not doing this just to one-up you..."
"Like hell you aren't," Nezumi spat furiously.
"I'm not. I'm genuinely worried about Shion. He appeared in my apartment last night, drenched and frostbitten, no coat, asking if he could stay for a few days. When I offered to take him back to you, he seemed to panic. He offered to pay his rent, as such –"
"How?" Nezumi butted in. "He didn't have any money."
"I know. He offered other services."
Nezumi blinked. "What, he offered to be your personal maid for a week? The airhead can barely wash dishes!"
"Other services."
Nezumi's breath hitched. His face must have been a picture. "What? As in what you offered me?"
"Yeah."
Nezumi was caught between the urge to laugh hysterically and scream. "Shion?!" He spluttered.
Rikiga's face was still impassive. "The very same."
"But he's barely kissed a woman before, how could he think –?"
"He was apparently desperate."
"But why?"
"What did you say to him, Eve?"
"None of your goddamn business, old man."
"Because when I asked him what happened, he said that you didn't want him here."
"We've been through this already," Nezumi told him. "And there is still a simple solution: I go to Shion, tell him that I do, in actual fact, crave his presence, and we're done."
"I'm not sure it's going to be that simple. He raged on about you for quite a while; I think he's still furious."
Nezumi winced. "Yeah, I screwed up a bit. Nothing that can't be fixed."
"Are you sure?"
"Sure."
"And do you want him around? Truly?"
Nezumi breathed. "Yes. Truly."
"Let's go, then."
"Shion, I'm back," Rikiga called as they walked through the door.
He was sitting on the sofa with his back to them, gazing out the window. Nezumi stared at his white hair and breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.
"Rikiga-san!" Shion said, turning around. "You were gone quite a –" He broke off, staring at Nezumi with wide, frightened eyes.
"Now, before you explode," Rikiga started hurriedly.
"You lied!" Shion exploded, jumping up from the sofa. "You said you wouldn't fetch him! You promised!"
"Yes, and I broke the promise. I didn't know what to do, Shion, you're a mess! Karan would have done the same!"
Shion flopped, boneless, onto the couch again. "Whatever," he mumbled sulkily. "It's half past two, I can't just tell you to go away."
"That's the spirit," Rikiga said, relieved. "Now, I'm off to bed. You two talk it out, but please do it quietly. This has been an extremely stressful day." He marched off into the bedroom.
There was a painful silence.
"So you went here," Nezumi ventured.
Shion shrugged. "I thought about going to Inukashi's, but it was too far."
Nezumi nodded. "I thought you would have tried to go there. The old man said you got a bit of frost bite." He took a step forward.
Shion nodded. "Nothing to worry about, my fingers just itch a lot." He showed him his patchy hands.
"Any pain?"
"Not much."
Slowly, Nezumi walked to sit down on the couch, not too close to Shion. "You worried me sick," he admitted, careful to keep his voice quiet enough that the surely eavesdropping Rikiga wouldn't hear.
Shion appeared surprised. "I did?"
"Of course, it was minus ten and a raging storm." His whispers became more urgent. "I thought you would die!"
"And you cared?" Shion asked, voice suddenly acidic.
Nezumi sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Okay, look. I know I was an asshole last night. It'd been a really bad day. It's not an excuse, but you can't believe anything I said. I didn't mean any of it, you were right."
A frown tugged at Shion's brow. "You must have at least partly meant it to say it." His voice was untrusting, and it stung Nezumi more than he would have liked to admit.
"Well, I'll admit you can be a pain in the ass at times," Nezumi allowed, lightly teasing, trying to keep the mood non-confrontational. "But so can everyone."
"You most of all." Shion was finally smiling, just a little. It made Nezumi smile too.
"Me most of all," he agreed.
There was another short silence.
"I brought your coat," Nezumi said suddenly, handing it to him.
"Thank you." A pause. "So you don't actually wish we'd never met."
"You do make my life a lot more complicated, but I don't know..." Nezumi flashed a smirk at him. "I kinda like it."
He stiffened in panic as Shion's face crumpled and he began to cry.
"Hey, hey, what's all this about?" he whispered, alarmed, crawling closer to the other boy, who had drawn his knees up to hide his face. "I just told you I liked you in a very roundabout and indirect way. This doesn't happen often and it certainly doesn't warrant tears."
Shion snorted into his knees and Nezumi breathed a sigh of relief. The boy lifted his head to meet Nezumi's gaze, eyes slightly redder than usual. "You really were worried, weren't you?"
"Believe it or not, you do actually mean something to me," Nezumi told him. "You did save my life and all. We have an unbreakable bond."
Shion smiled, tears flowing inexplicably faster. "Of life over death?"
"'Til death do us part."
Nezumi was unprepared when Shion launched himself into his arms but reacted admirably, stopping his hand in its instinctive journey to his knife after it had only moved an inch. Hesitantly, he returned Shion's embrace, relishing the feeling of his soft, useless muscles and the smell of his clean hair.
"You're all wet," Shion muttered into his neck.
Nezumi laughed. "It started raining when we were five minutes away."
"It feels nasty, take it off."
Snorting, Nezumi pulled back to obey. He dumped his coat on the floor, uncaring of Rikiga's carpet, and pulled Shion back, which the boy was evidently not expecting.
"Did you actually miss me?" Shion asked shyly.
"More than I expected," Nezumi admitted. "The amount of noise you make is quite noticeable when it's gone." He pulled back suddenly to look Shion sternly in the eye. "Do not take that as a cue to do that to get a reaction out of me. If there's a next time, I'm just going to let your ass freeze."
Shion's eyes were so soft Nezumi could hardly bear it. "I'm glad I met you, Nezumi."
"Even though I ruined your life?" Nezumi quipped, though he could barely breathe.
Shion shook his head. "You didn't ruin it. You gave me a new one."
Nezumi seriously debated planting one on the other boy's mouth in his complete and utter relief to have him back before he pulled away completely. "Okay, this is getting way too sappy now, I'm going to throw up. I still have some serious stuff to get through," he said, eyes hardening again, though not to the point of anger.
Shion looked uncomfortable. "Can't we just go to sleep? I'm tired," he mumbled.
"No sleeping," Nezumi decreed. "I have it on authority that little virgin you –" he poked Shion in the chest, "– offered to become a rent-boy to get a roof over your head. I have to ask: why the fuck would you ever think that was a good idea? It's sure not a good way to find a long-term boyfriend, I'll tell you that for free."
Shion scowled. "I wasn't looking for a long-term boyfriend."
"Thank God. So why?"
A shrug. "I didn't have any other way to pay," he said simply, though it honestly sounded more like a question.
Nezumi sighed. "Trust you to fly right over odd jobs around the property and land straight on prostitution. But anyway, moot point. Shion, while I have a roof over my head, you will always have one too. Remember that next time you feel like running away, because I doubt anyone else is making you a similar offer."
Shion ignored the sarcasm and beamed radiantly. "You mean that? For always?"
"For always. Unless you start bringing strange male clients home. Then you're out on your ass."
Shion laughed quietly, before he sobered up again. "You're really kind, Nezumi," he said, then continued before Nezumi could voice his protests, "but are you sure it's going to work?"
"Am I sure what's going to work?" Nezumi asked with trepidation.
"Living together," Shion said, eyes fixed on the hideous carpet. "It's just...we fight so much."
"Everyone fights sometimes. And we are pretty much the definition of opposites, remember? We have nothing in common. That's always going to lead to friction."
"I know," Shion said. "But I'm just scared..."
"Of what?"
"That's one day you'll really get sick of me."
Nezumi rolled his eyes. "For God's sake." He gripped Shion's face between his hands, hard, forcing the boy to look at him. "I'm never going to hate you, Shion," he said slowly, shaking him gently with every word. "You're just too bloody nice for my digestion sometimes. It's more likely that you'll start hating me!"
"Really?" Shion said hopefully.
"Really," Nezumi huffed, hoping to high Heaven his message had finally got through.
Shion smiled blissfully, but thankfully there were no tears this time. "I'm really happy," he said.
"Personally, I'd be happier if we were in bed right now, but I guess we can't have everything we want."
"Stop it."
"What?"
"Cracking one-liners to lighten the atmosphere. You're ruining the mood."
"My apologies, Your Highness."
Shion stuck out his tongue and wriggled out of Nezumi's grip, catching his hands when Nezumi made to grab him again. When they'd calmed down, Shion looked Nezumi full in the eye. Nezumi felt his stomach sink at the surety of sappiness to come.
"You've done a lot for me," Shion began, and this time Nezumi didn't interrupt. "A lot more than I could ever do for you. I can't thank you enough. I'll never be able to thank you enough."
"You don't need to thank me at all," Nezumi told him, voice barely more than a breath.
"But I want to," Shion whined, pouting. "It's so frustrating!"
"If you really want to make it up to me, you could do my share of the chores every week," Nezumi suggested.
Shion backtracked quickly. "No, thank you! I was thinking more along the lines of..." he trailed off, turning bright red.
Hesitant, Nezumi prompted him. "Along the lines of what?"
"Close your eyes."
"What's going through that head of yours, Shion...?"
"Nothing I don't want to do. Close your eyes." His voice was insistent, and Nezumi obeyed. "Keep them closed," Shion ordered. Nezumi could hear him shuffling closer, closer, far too close. Shion's breath trickled over his lips and Nezumi was about to pull away and laugh off the sudden desire twisting his belly when a pair of lips pressed against his own and all thoughts were wiped from Nezumi's brain.
It lasted barely a second, and when Shion pulled back, Nezumi's eyes were wide and his cheeks were dusted with red.
Shion regarded him nervously. "Are you angry? It was just a thank-you kiss. I didn't know what else to do."
"Angry?" Nezumi spluttered. "Why the hell would I be angry?"
"I don't know," Shion muttered, face beet red and darkening. "It was probably a mistake. It felt like a good idea at the time, though."
"Shion, why did you kiss me?" Nezumi asked frankly, trying to slow his heart.
Shion looked as if he wanted to dissolve into the ugly carpet. "I don't know," he repeated, looking remarkably like a mortified sheep. "It just seemed like a good way to say thank you."
"Right. Thank you, of course. Is this how you normally go around thanking people?"
"No?"
"Then why me?"
"God, Nezumi, I don't know!" Shion's voice was getting alarmingly loud in his embarrassment. "I don't know what came over me!"
"Shh, shh," Nezumi hushed him. "I didn't mean it like that. I just...sometimes people don't mean kisses in a thank-you way. I just wanted to make sure."
Shion bit his lip in shock. "You thought –?"
"Don't say it."
Shion obeyed, though he giggled rather. "I've never kissed anyone like that," he admitted finally.
"That I can believe," Nezumi muttered, staring a hole in the carpet and wishing he'd never opened his damn mouth.
"Have you?"
The question caught him off-guard. "What?"
"Have you ever given someone an I-love-you kiss?"
"Why are we giving them stupid names? And no. I've never kissed someone I loved." He kept his answer short and utilitarian. No excess words with which Shion could catch him out.
Nezumi had underestimated the boy. "Have you ever loved anyone?"
Dammit. "Why such personal questions?"
"Well, we share 'a bond of life over death', and a bed, and we've just shared a kiss. I thought we ought to get to know each other," Shion teased.
Nezumi looked at him incredulously. "You're unbelievable," he said.
Shion grinned. "I'm not sure what an I-love-you kiss feels like," he said.
"Where is this going, Shion?" Nezumi asked wearily.
Shion was even redder when he looked at him. "I'm...just curious," he said.
Nezumi sighed. "Fine," he said. "Turn to face me."
Shion stared at him with wide eyes. "What?"
"I'm going to show you what an adult kiss is like. Close your eyes." Nezumi smirked.
Obviously flustered, Shion obeyed. Grinning, Nezumi shuffled closer and placed a hand behind Shion's neck, the other caressing his cheek, thumb passing over his red snake. Looking at Shion like this, eyes closed, cheeks red and breath short, Nezumi could feel the warmth he felt for the boy overflowing. He felt like he could cry. If he were Shion, he probably would have.
"Open your mouth a bit," he breathed, before he closed the gap between them.
Shion's mouth was so soft and so hot that Nezumi could barely hold back the tiny moan in the back of his throat. He shoved it down, concentrating instead on moving against Shion and making the most of his opportunity before it blew up in his face. Shion made a tiny noise of shock when Nezumi oh-so-gently slid his tongue into the other boy's mouth, sealing them together even more thoroughly as he coaxed Shion's tongue to come out and play.
Shion was weakly grasping at Nezumi's T-shirt, pliable as jelly in his arms, and Nezumi wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling Shion so close he was nearly in his lap. Shion clung to him just as tightly, his tongue becoming bolder and bolder as it entwined with Nezumi's own.
Reluctantly, Nezumi knew it was time to pull back when he began to get light-headed. Any further, and Nezumi would lose any remnants of control he'd managed to retain.
Shion seemed just as reluctant to pull away, clinging to Nezumi and searching for his mouth again. Nezumi fended him off until Shion opened his eyes and came to his senses once more. He was breathing heavily, and his lips were almost as red as his cheeks. Nezumi swallowed down the want.
"What did you think?" he asked, voice only slightly husky.
"I..." Shion didn't seem to know what to say. "That was...more intense that I'd expected."
"Really?" Nezumi tried not to let it go straight to his ego.
Shion nodded. "So that's how adults kiss," he mused, pressing slightly shaky fingers to his lips.
"Feeling enlightened?" Nezumi enquired, clenching his fists to stop his own shaking and then shoving them between his legs when that didn't stop it.
Shion nodded vaguely, evidently still a bit stunned.
Nezumi forced himself to chuckle lightly. "Better find yourself a woman quick, then," he said. "You'll be able to do that every day. And more." No matter how much he tried to disguise it, his tone was slightly bitter.
Shion frowned at that, and lifted his head to look at him. Nezumi glanced down. "What if I don't want to find a woman?" he asked confrontationally.
"Then that's fine too, but don't expect to get free practice on me all the time."
Shion seemed to go off on a tangent then, as he was prone to do. "You know when I kissed you just now, you thought for a bit that it signified something more?"
Nezumi paused a second. "...yes?"
"What if you were right?"
Nezumi looked up in surprise. "Excuse me?"
"What if you were right about it meaning something more to me?"
Nezumi forced himself to breathe. "I don't know, Shion, what if I was right?" he made himself say casually.
Shion frowned then, obviously frustrated. "That's what I was asking you."
"Well, then, I don't know. It all depends," Nezumi said vaguely, inexplicably terrified.
"Did you not really want to kiss me?" Shion asked then, bold and direct. "Did it mean nothing to you?"
Nezumi really should have replied immediately with a resounding 'no, it meant nothing', but he hesitated a second and then it was too late.
"I want to kiss you like that every day for the rest of my life."
Nezumi blinked, frozen. "Excuse me?" he repeated croakily.
Shion was looking embarrassed now. "I want to kiss you every day. For always." Even his ears were red.
Nezumi's brow furrowed. "Shion? Are you sure about this?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, for a start, I am a complete asshole. In case you'd forgotten. And this is all a bit sudden."
Shion's face was determined. "I don't care. I never want to have to leave you again."
"Shit," Nezumi breathed. "Just...shit."
"I am sure," Shion continued. "I've thought about a lot, for a long time now. It's not sudden at all."
Nezumi didn't know what to say.
Suddenly, Shion's face became frightened. "That is...unless you don't want to." He laughed nervously. "I'm such an idiot, I got caught up in the moment and just assumed you felt like I did." He looked close to tears. "I'm sorry, Nezumi, I –"
Nezumi grabbed a handful of snowy white hair and pulled Shion's mouth to his. The relief he felt took him by surprise by its intensity; somehow, despite the other two kisses they had just shared, this one signified much more. It felt like a promise, one of the only promises Nezumi felt comfortable keeping.
Suddenly, he remembered and pulled back sharply. His retreat must have alarmed Shion, as his eyes widened in fear.
Nezumi reassured him. "I'm not getting cold feet. I just remembered something."
Shion looked relieved. "What?"
"I didn't say sorry for being such a dick last night. You were right, I'd had a really bad day and I'm sorry for taking it out on you."
Shion looked stunned for a moment, then a slow smile appeared on his face. "I think that's the first time you've ever apologised to me," he said.
Nezumi laughed shortly. "I wouldn't be surprised."
Shion reached up to push Nezumi's fringe from his forehead. "I forgive you," he said quietly. "And I'm sorry for throwing that spoon at you, too."
Nezumi sniggered. "It was a terrible shot."
"I'll have to practice, then."
Nezumi pulled him close. "That you will. We'll have all the time in the world."
A/N: Oh my Lord, so much sap...sorry guys, I couldn't help myself. These two are sickening, aren't they?
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