A/N: Hello all, for some reason I felt the need to write another epos. Niles has a very important role in this story, but it will focus on multiple characters. Also, it'll be a crossover at some point, but the first chapters (which is basically the prologue, if that says anything about the length of this monster) have solely Frasier characters. It starts off in S3 of Frasier. (1995-1996) The storyline sort of follows the series up to that point, after which it slowly spins out of control into an AU. Even though this story is supposed to be funny, it's rated T for a reason: it will contain violence, adult themes, strong language and most of all: imagery that might be frightening to children. Please R&R, it's going to be a long story that'll cover several years in the Frasier realm...

Frasier

My name is Doctor Frasier Crane, eminent psychiatrist. After building a career I returned to my hometown of Seattle to pursue a career in radio. It also gave me an opportunity to spend more time with my family: my dear father and brother still recided there. To be honest, I wasn't prepared for what was waiting for me once my feet hit my home soil.

First of all: there was my father. My mother passed away some years ago, and he's been alone ever since. But that's not all. He got shot in the hip you know. And, him being an ex-cop, he would never admit that he needed help, until I saw so for myself. And now, he's living in my house...

Then there was my little brother Niles. What a strange little man he is. We used to be inseparable, the two of us... and now we're not. At least, with me living on the other side of the country, it's not strange that we don't see much of each other. However, he barely visited my father either. Our father, that sweet old man that needs our attention desperately since he is handicapped and misses our mother terribly. Honestly, sometimes I don't know what goes on in my brother's head. And I never got to know his wife either. It's a real shame I missed out on so much of my brother's life...

I thought once I returned to Seattle we could pick up where we left off, but nothing could be further from the truth. Niles seemed... distracted. All the time. The only person that even got the slightest attention from him was my father's home healthcare worker Daphne. I never payed much attention to this before, since I never saw him n the first place and when we did see each other we where always to busy embarrassing ourself and turning the annual christmas soiree into an utter disaster, so I never noticed this weird behavior before. Come to think about it, it's been at least a decade since I've had a decent conversation with my brother...

Niles

My name is Doctor Niles Crane, eminent psychiatrist. You know, not one of those quacks like my brother. Oh, he'll tell you he's eminent and even more so than I am. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. Just because he's older he gets to have all the attention. Well, now it's time to talk about me!

And I AM actually still married... For the last decade, I have been blissfully happy. I really love my wife Maris. Maris and I met when I was still in med school. She had locked herself out of her mansion when I drove by. I got out to help, and as we touched, there was a spark and the doors parted before our very eyes. I looked into her eyes and I was mesmerized. Truly mesmerized.

We saw it as a sign and have been inseparable ever since. I moved in with her after I finished my education, which her family helped pay off. It was nice to finally have a woman in my life, I wasn't much of a ladies man in prep school or at university. But she changed all that, oh my! I was nervous being with Maris, after all, I had little to no experience with women and Maris was the kind of lady that needed to be pleased, to be pleasured...

Living with Maris, I have everything my heart desires. A giant mansion, my own bedroom, a successful practice and I owe it all to this wonderful woman! Let me tell you a little bit about my house. It's not a house, it's a freaking castle! Located on the outskirts of Seattle, the estate has been property of Maris' family for generations. A stranger easily gets lost inside the house or the massive garden surrounding it. When I first moved in here after our honeymoon, it happened to me a couple of times. Maris was not very amused when I had thought that Maris' great grandmother's boudoir was a lavatory. Furthermore I had fallen ill for two weeks straight because my horror vacui, but apart from that the transition to a larger living space had been nothing but pleasant. Maris decided on separate rooms, since it is important to keep your individuality in a marriage! You know, when I help couples with marriage counseling this is often a very important factor of frustration in a marriage. Oh, my secretary Ms. Woodson always compliments me on my joyful mood. Well, there is only one woman to thank for that!

I think the reason that our marriage is still working so well, is that we allow each other this space in our relationship, both inside the house and in our personal lives. For instance: Maris is very concerned about her health. Youth is everything to her. Therefore, she is on a strict diet that consists of not much of anything. Also, she visits a health spa in California every year or so. She is always gone for weeks, which gives me time to explore the house and catch up on my paperwork for instance. I don't like it very much when Maris is gone. The house seems suddenly too big for me, and the maids seem less pleasant. Of course, they still bring me my food and drinks at the exact set time like always, but it's just not the same when she's not around.

I often wander around the house alone when she's gone. There is always something new to discover. The house is full of corners, hidden hallways, dusty addics... We should hire another maid, 13 isn't nearly enough. I always stay away from the east wing, Maris' private quarters. I respect her privacy and she does always come to me whenever she is in the mood. Still, there is a lot to be discovered. When we are together, we occasionally enjoy strolls to the garden, through Maris' hedge maze and her collection of exotic butterflies. But when she's gone and when the maids have retreated to their private quarters, a fear creeps over me and I just can't stop myself. I have been having anxiety attacks every time she's out of town. Lying alone at night, I feel so dreadfully alone, and every whisper of wind will send shivers down my spine. I'm dying to speak to my brother about this, but it seems like a private matter that I should resolve on my own. Plus, I'm a grown man, why should I be afraid in my own home?

This is what I keep telling myself. I've been telling it for over ten years. But lately...

Last night, I'm sure I heard a shrieking noise, coming somewhere from the basement. The staff had long retired to their own personal quarters and I was all alone. Hiding underneath the covers, I wanted the world around me to vanish. And more than ever, I wanted it to be day again. My pyama's slowly got drenched in my sweat and I had nowhere to go. There was a burglar in my house and I had nowhere to go! I didn't even have a panic room in this shrieking, haunted castle of mine! Sure, Maris had one but it was in her personal quarters and only she could use it when she had a bad hair day or some other cosmetic crisis! And now there was someone in my house and I was just going to accept that I was going to die and that he would rip my possessions out of my cold hands!

Slowly, I came out of bed and grabbed the first thing in my reach to defend myself: a 18th century baroque candlestick. I opened my bedroom door, and looked into the hallway. It was a cold, gaping black hole. The darkness seemed like a physical barrier between me and the rest of the world. Nevertheless, I tiptoed into the darkness, trying to be as quiet as possible. There was that screeching noise again! Or no, this was something else. Damn these old houses.

This time, it seemed to come from the attic. I traced the sound, shaking like a leaf. It led me to an old hatch door that was rarely being used. The tower of the north wing. I had been there before, but it had been months, maybe years ago. Perhaps a window had broken and someone was trying to find its way inside! The hatch door opened with a shriek of old metal, like it hadn't been opened for years, and for a second I was afraid I would be discovered. I tiptoed up the winding stairs, old and worn from centuries of use. This used to be the old spinning room back in the 19th century, Maris had told me. There is so much about her family's history that I don't know about. The door was a chink open and I peered to the hole. I wish I hadn't. I wish I had turned around and gone back to bed...

The image that I saw there sent chills up and down my spine and I was only lucky that I didn't soil myself. There was a tall, dark figure standing in front of the window, looking outside. It was a woman in a long dress, that waved in the wind that wasn't actually there. There was no light emanating from her, only darkness. Utter darkness... It was like she was but a shadow. I stared at her in awe and she didn't seem to notice, and I was pinned to the floor for minutes. There was silence, complete silence... nothing but silence, and utter stillness...stillness...

And then, something seemed to flicker in the figure standing before me. The figure still stood dead silent with only the ghostly wind dancing around her dress, but her head seemed to be moving. Slowly but surely, she turned towards me, her body only waving the imaginary wind. Her head turned a full 180 degrees without a problem, until I would have guessed she was facing me, but I still saw only a shadow..

Then, her eyes fluttered open and two fiery blue eyes stared directly at the spot where I was kneeling down. There was nothing there, no emotion whatsoever. I felt like all the joy was getting sucked out of me by her glare. Then I seemed to notice a spark inside the blue. A spark of utter hatred.. and the world started to crumble before me. I felt my knees give in and soon, her darkness seemed to surround me and I saw only black. My unconscious body fell limp against the wooden floorboards...

I woke in my bed the next day, with Martha standing on my bedside. She assured me that it had just been a nightmare. I took her explanation for the truth, I always do and she's always right. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but walk past the old hatch door that led to the attic I had dreamed about. You could tell that the servants didn't come to this part of the building that often: Everything was so dusty. It disgusted me. I should make a note of it.

But then I saw something that made me jump: fingerprints in the dust, just in front of the hatch door. It had been opened... and by someone who seemed to have the same hand size as me... It was probably one of the staff, who had been meaning to clean the attic. Even so, it got me thinking about the safety in our house. Maris loathed security guards, she trusted solely on our core staff to protect us, which they did pretty well. But these past events had shook me and I wanted to feel safe again. After all, this was my home. Maybe I should offer that safety.. as a gift? After all, she did deserve it, with my behavior lately.

That was another thing that had been bothering me: Lately my mind has been distracted from my duties as a married man. My brother Frasier moved back into town some years ago, and I have been spending much time at his place since then. He took in my father to look after him after he was shot. Maris is allergic to Eddie, you know. Which is why dad has to live at Frasier's. And that's the reason I always go there alone. The only reason. Then there is Daphne, sweet Daphne, my fathers home healthcare worker. She's a very special lady. She excites me in a way I have never known before. Before I was introduced to her, only Maris invaded my mind, nothing but Maris. A big, soothing fog of Maris... but now, when I let my guard down, Daphne creeps in there. When we I like smelling her hair, being as near to her as I could possibly be. And when I am, she blurs my mind and pierces my soul with her beauty...

That's why, I planned on a gift for Maris to keep myself busy: I hired an architect and some construction workers to build a brand new panic room. Maris already has one, but that's her private property and she doesn't want me barging in in times of crisis. Or anytime for that matter. I wanted to build a panic room that was just for us. I let the architect build an entire new basement, so I could avoid Maris' private quarters entirely.

Come to think of it, he did find a lot of animal bones down there. Maris' family used to breed Swedish Sheephounds, you know. A very refined race. She had told me how much her parents had loved the dogs. I hope she didn't mind me disturbing their eternal peace. Either way, I had given the bones a lovely new spot near the family mausoleum. I had the room completely decorated, with a kingsize bed, a closet full of clothes ,all brand new, of course, a bathroom and two years of food supply. The door could only be opened from the inside and I had the entrance completely sealed from the unknowing eye. Let those burglars come, or the apocalypse, for that matter! Maris and I would be safe and ready to re-populate the world!

She will come back tomorrow, I can't wait!

TBC