"Fili! You are late for training!" Dis yelled, looking angrily to the hallways that lead to the princes' rooms. After a few seconds, the two inseparable youngsters were running to her, passing by her legs and making her sigh.'
"Bye ma!" Kili yelled from the door of their home, before rushing after Fili, caring his small bow on his back while Fili took a sword that was his size. Now that he was already twenty five, a usual age for an heir to start learning about his future duties, he had to train with Thorin almost every week from battle skills to ways of making productions more fruitful. If he was to be a king, he had to be a good one. Kili, in the other hand, still a child in dwarf costumes, just ran behind his brother wherever he went, always taking his bow to train while he had his classes. He would also be trained to be a king, in case something happened to Fili and he wasn't able to rule, but his training would be way less cared for. He didn't mind. He never wished to be a king. He just wanted to be with Fili until the end of their days.
The two dwarfs ran through the halls of the Blue Mountains, their mouths open wide in grins as they made their way outside the mountain to the training fields. As they got out, the sun made their eyes burn a bit, but they just ignored, knowing their way with their eyes closed. Soon, they saw Thorin, Balin and Dwalin in the distance, waiting for them. Kili started to jump and ran even faster than his brother, his smaller body and lighter clothing making him faster by default.
"Uncle!" He yelled, jumping on Thorin's back with no warning and making the dwarf fall on the ground while the other two chuckled deeply. Thorin let out a quiet groan before turning around and pulling Kili to his chest, smiling as the small dwarf nuzzled on it contently.
"Kili" he mumbled, his smile fond and sweet as he caressed his nephew's curly locks. His smile only grew when he saw Fili stopping next to them, letting go from his sword and jumping onto the hug, not caring if he was squeezing his brother and uncle under him.
"Fili! Get out!" Kili complained, waving his arms until his older brother jumped up and pulled him. Thorin stood up and cleaned his clothes before smiling to the two boys in front of him.
"Ready to train, kids?" Dwalin asked, his deep voice calling the youngsters' attention. Fili soon recomposed himself and took his sword in hand while Kili nodded like an excited wolf, grabbing his bow and his small arrows. "Wonderful. Fili, you come with me today. Kili, follow your uncle"
The two brothers stared at each other for a few seconds, their faces getting a bit sadder at the news that they would not train together that day, but both just moved accordingly, Kili standing next to Thorin's legs while Fili walked behind Dwalin to another field. Seeing the distress in his younger nephew's face, Thorin leaned down, taking his hand.
"What is wrong, Kili?"
"I feel bad away from him. That's all" the small dwarf mumbled, not moving one muscle until his brother was out of sight.
It was useless, trying to break them apart.
"Fili, don't be a fool. You belong with the company" Thorin said, uselessly, only making Fili even angrier with the attitudes his uncle was taking those last days. He moved his arm away from the soon-to-be-king and gave him a disgusted look that clearly showed everything he wanted it to show.
"I belong with my brother" he said, firmly, leaving no room to discussions. Thorin gave up, clearly, and got inside the boat as Fili rushed to Kili, who was complaining about the departure of the company without him. As he reached his younger brother, he saw the relaxation coming to his eyes. The boat hadn't left yet. The relaxation became shock and he shook his head, looking down.
"Fili, what are you doing here? Get inside that boat!" he said firmly, looking up at his brother. "This... sickness already took the opportunity from me and Oin. I can't let you lose it as well..."
"We won't lose a thing, brother" Fili said, taking Kili's hands on his and pressing their foreheads together in a sweet, reassuring gesture. "The two of us will go through Erebor's gates together, like we always said we would. Like we promised we would" he said, opening his eyes and meeting Kili's teary ones. He was smiling, however. "Besides, I know you can't spend one day away from me. Remember that time when I left to Bree with uncle and you barely slept?"
"Shush" Kili chuckled, teary, sniffling and relaxing a bit more before a sharp pain went through his leg, making him growl and lean forward. Fili caught him in his arms and looked at Oin, who was just watching the boat float away.
Fili would never forgive himself if he hadn't stayed, even after seeing the glance that Thorin sent him from the boat at the second it turned away from their view.
"When you two grow up, I will show you the amazing halls of Erebor, where our people was born and lived until that dreadful day when the dragon Smaug attacked"
"Uncle" Kili called, his small legs moving back and forth as he sat on a chair. He was too small to reach the ground, like Fili barely could. The brothers sat side by side as they waited Dis to come with their dinner, while listening to their uncle Thorin's stories. Upon being called, the way older dwarf looked down at his younger nephew. "Will you defeat the dragon with your mighty sword and courage?"
"We will" Thorin said, after a few seconds of silence. Kili and Fili's eyes shone brightly, just as bright as the stars in the night sky. "Together, we will defeat the dragon and go back to our home once more. I promise you"
"I'll cut his wings off with my sword!" Fili yelled, jumping up from his chair and waving his arm around just as if he actually was holding a sword. Kili grinned, also jumping off with a bit more of carelessness while pretending he was pulling his bowstring.
"I will hit his eyes with one of my arrows, make him blind!" he said, running around sending invisible arrows while Fili ran around him, pretending to slice the dragon up from every side possible. Thorin watched them in awe, a fond smile on his face.
"This looks nothing like the adventures we used to have as children, does it?" Fili asked, holding his brother close to his chest, protectively, as they made tehir way through Lake Town on a boat, with Tauriel, Sigrid, Tilda, Bain, Oin and Bofur next to them. Kili closed his eyes for a second or so, not being able to see all the destruction around them, the fire that burned the houses, the dead people falling on the ground and water.
"Not the slightest" he muttered back, in a weak moment reaching to hold his brother's furry coat, hiding his face on the fur and sighing shakily. His leg still hurt, even if he felt really better from Tauriel's enchantment, and the whole situation, the cold from the winter winds arriving, joining with the cold of the fire making his whole body shiver. He was scared, he couldn't pretend he wasn't. Not at the moment, at least.
"Don't worry though. I'm right here, next to you. Nothing will hurt you while I'm here" Fili muttered against Kili's ear, feeling the way his brother shivered. He knew that was more than cold, more than fever, more than discomfort. He was scared as well; he felt it in his bones and all through his body. However, he couldn't show it, not even for a second, especially in front of Bard's kids and members of his uncle's company.
He was the heir. He was strong. He had to be. And as the dragon spit fire to the houses next to them, his only action was to tug Kili closer and cover him up with his body, so no flame could touch him.
"Fili... Fili?"
The blond dwarf woke up with someone tugging on his arm. His eyes opened slowly as he yawned, tiredness clear on his face. As he looked around, his eyes getting used with the dark environment, he saw Kili's face in front of his, his eyes wide and teary and red as he stood there, a few tears going down his small, fluffy cheeks.
Despair made Fili sit up as fast as he could, pulling his brother up on his bed and hugging him. Kili held onto his sleeping garments, sobbing quietly against his shoulder and whimpering softly as he tried to calm down.
"Kili. Nadad. Everything is fine. You are fine. I'm right here" he mumbled, kissing his head and nuzzling on his curly brown hair. The small dwarf took a while to calm down, but once he did, he was sleepy and clinging to his brother as if he was drowning. "Kili. Tell me what's wrong" he mumbled, looking down at his smaller brother. He sniffled once more, looking down for a few seconds before looking up again.
"I dreamt with da" he mumbled, sniffling quietly. "With Khagam. I dreamt with him again" he whimpered, shakily, but before he could start crying, Fili shushed him, pulling him closer and shaking his head.
"You don't have to tell me" he muttered, feeling his own voice trembling a bit. If he was to be strong for his little brother, he couldn't start crying as well. Thinking about their father also crushed him, but he had learned how to avoid such thoughts.
"Do you promise that you will be always here for me?" Kili asked, his voice weak and fragile and his body shaking as he looked up at his big brother's eyes. The brown was so bright, moving like water, and Fili did not want to upset his brother even more.
"I promise" he said, because it was true. As long as he could control his life, he would always be by his brother's side, no matter what. "Now sleep. I'll be here when you wake up"
And like that, Kili curled up under the blankets and fell into a deep sleep while Fili stayed there the whole night, looking at the wall until the weight of his unshared tears made it too much to stay awake.
If he were to say that he was indeed sleeping, that would be a lie. Since they had arrived the mountain, he hadn't been able to close his eyes and relax. Everything seemed so wrong, especially after he had seen what his uncle had become. War was upon them. Elves were waiting their king's commands. Men were angry and hungry. They were thirteen against thousands, and his uncle did not seem to see the real problem.
If a war were to start, they would lose. They would be slaughtered. And none of the dwarfs, including Fili himself, would go against their king, their leader, their kin. That was how dwarfs worked. Loyal to the bone, even if they knew they were wrong. They would never leave Thorin to fight that battle by himself.
Fili stopped his thoughts when he heard a sound. A soft, weird sound that wasn't coming from far away. He sat up, looking around until he saw someone sitting up, curled against a wall. The dwarfs still slept close to each other, but now in the comfort of the mountain, which meant a bit more of privacy for those who wished. And maybe because of the craziness surrounding the others, both Kili and Fili had decided to sleep in another hallway than the one the company was using at the moment.
So, by the form of the body, only one person came in Fili's mind. He stood up quietly and walked to his brother, sitting next to him and gently brushing their arms together. Kili jumped and looked back, staring at his bigger brother with wide eyes until he was sure it was only him. Then, he sighed, and looked back down to the floor.
"Nadad. What are you doing here?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. So Kili had been crying? Fili frowned, hating to see his brother like that. He was always so happy and excited. He should be like that always.
"Oh, you know. I heard that a dwarfling was having a nightmare and as his big brother, I came to see him" he said, smiling lightly, and making Kili chuckle. "Seriously, though. I came to see if you are fine"
"I'm... Alright" he answered, playing with his hands. Fili didn't wait, just wrapping one arm around his brother's shoulders and pulling him closer. After a moment of hesitation, Kili relaxed his head against Fili's shoulder and closed his eyes.
"Tell me what's troubling you, brother" he said, firmly, but gently, making the younger dwarf take a shaky breath and press even closer. His body was trembling, but he wasn't cold. At all.
"There is a war coming. We are low in number. Uncle is going crazy. None of us have courage to talk to him. I see the way Dwalin looks at him, as if he was worried. I caught Balin in the library the other day, reading a book about dragon sickness. Bilbo doesn't even hide his discomfort" he mumbled, nuzzling closer and making Fili pull him closer. A few seconds of silence, and then, a shaky breath. "We are going to die, won't we?"
Fili didn't even know how to answer that. Even if he didn't think the same, the way Kili spoke it made such an impact in him that his entire body shivered. Death. They weren't even of age yet, and death was at their gates. He understood Kili's fear. He felt it too.
"It doesn't matter" he said, honestly, calling Kili's attention and making him look up. "Even if it is our time to go, I won't leave your side. I will be there to hold your hand"
Somehow, those words seemed to comfort his younger brother, who gave him a weak smile and closed his eyes again, gently holding Fili's hand and sighing.
"Thank you, nadad"
"Uncle! Uncle!" Kili yelled as he ran down the hills, his eyes wide, filled with tears. Thorin and Dwalin stopped talking and turned to the voice behind them. The child had a cut on his head, from where a thin drop of blood went down his cheek, and mixed up with his fat tears. There were bruises on his face, and scratches, and he was shaking more than a pup in winter.
The two dwarfs ran to him as soon as he was seen, Thorin getting there first and kneeling in front of his nephew.
"What happened?" he asked quickly, but Kili shook his head, tugging onto his uncle's sleeve. Thorin walked behind his nephew, who was starting to sob in despair as they ran back up the hills and all the way to the valley.
From up there, the three dwarfs could see Fili fighting off a single orc that had dared to travel beyond the borders. The dwarf, now around his thirties, had just enough ability to hold the dark creature back while Kili found someone. Thorin didn't wait a second before letting go from his younger nephew's hand and run down the hill, reaching for his sword as he got closer to the two. Just as he was arriving, Fili got distracted by the sound of someone coming closer and gave the orc a moment to swing his sword on the prince's direction, cutting his arm and cheek and making him scream before he fell on the ground, agonizing in pain.
Thorin saw red and ran after the orc while Dwalin and Kili got closer to Fili, the older dwarf kneeling down and holding Fili down. He ripped his undergarments and started to clean the cuts that weren't deep, but surely hurt and scared both the young prince and his even younger brother.
"Fili! Fili!" Kili whined, sitting next to his brother and taking his hand tightly as he cried together with his older brother. Soon Thorin appeared again, pulling Kili away from his brother to let space for Dwalin to work. "FILI!"
"He will be fine, child" Thorin assured, watching his older nephew attentively while gently comforting his younger while caressing his hair. Kili took deep breaths, staring down at his brother as he slowly stopped crying and only complained quietly about the pain, his eyes opening.
"Kili... Are you hurt?" Fili asked, as soon as he saw his brother, and the small dwarf shook his head, new tears leaving his eyes as he reached down to hold his brother's hand.
"No. You are though" he mumbled, and Fili shrugged lightly, wincing a bit at the pain.
"You are safe. That's what matters, nadad"
He should have known. He had seen how sure Fili's eyes were. He had heard the sounds. He knew they were in the superior levels, and yet he just believed his brother mindlessly. 'I can handle this' he had said, just like before.
Fili wasn't crying this time, when he fell.
For a second or two, Kili couldn't even believe what he was seeing. The light inside his brother's eyes was gone. He wasn't there anymore. He was lying in front of him, lifeless, emotionless, with a huge opening on his belly where blood came out freely.
He could still hear him yelling 'Run!' before he was thrown away like discarded trash, all the way up the tower, Azog himself killing him with that hook of his.
Fili did not deserve to die that way.
Kili didn't listen anything after that. His knees felt weak and he fell down next to his brother, his nadad, his vision blurry from the tears that were filling his eyes. His hands went straight to his heart, checking for one second if it was still beating, before the whole world crushed over him and he fell down, sobbing out loud against Fili's chest.
No wound, no spell, no infected arrow could prepare him from the pain he was feeling at the moment. He felt breathless from his continuing sobs, his hands squeezing his brother's clothes as if he was drowning again, everything coming back for him like a bath in frozen water.
Fili had promised. He had promised he would be there. He would hold his hand. He would protect him. And yet...
Yet he left, to meet their father, without even saying goodbye.
It wasn't his fault. He died saving him. Fili died instead of letting Kili die with him. It was honorable. It was what any brother would do. Kili would have done the same. But it hurt so much, and he wanted to be selfish. Fili had no right to meet their father again before him. He had no right to walk through Mahal's halls without him.
They promised they would see Erebor together, and they promised they would see their father together too.
Suddenly, Kili realized they could still do all of that.
Swallowing his tears back and letting go from the lifeless body in front of him, he ran. He ran as fast as he could, screaming. He didn't think of his uncle. Not one second. He wanted revenge and he wanted it fast. As fast as he could say goodbye.
He didn't have the revenge he needed, but he saved Tauriel, and that seemed enough as the air cut from his lungs and he felt his spirit get light before everything vanished.
When he opened his eyes again, blue met brown, and he was happy.
"And if I'm not there, nadadith, you can believe me, I'll be there soon"