Bringing what seemed to be the third bottle of vodka to his cold lips he hoped for nothing more then for death to overtake him. Outside in the cold world of Token's backyard he couldn't help but to think about the hell he's been living in the past month. Each day that passed was worse then the last one. It had been at least a week since he had eaten an actual meal and probably even longer than that since he had had a good nights sleep. But to him there wasn't a point in it anymore. There wasn't much of a point to anything without his best friend by his side. But there was no way that Kyle would ever come back to him after what happened, after what he said to him. And to think that the only reason this was all happening was because he was too scared to actually admit his feelings to the red headed teen. Feeling tears stinging his eyes he couldn't help but think back to the day where his entire life fell apart.

FLASHBACK TO ONE MONTH AGO:

"Say it again Stan. I fucking DARE you" Kyle yelled, tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

"K-Kyle I-I didn't... that came out wrong...please..."

Kyle pushed him back harder into the wall behind them as his anger and pain continued to grow. "No Stan if you really meant it then say it the fuck again. Go on ahead and finish what you started"

"K-Kyle it...it was nothing more then a mistake. It...it didn't mean anything to me..." he stuttered out after what felt like an eternity. He could feel his heart shattering in his chest as he felt his best friend or well, former best friend now let go of him and take a step back, wiping tears from his eyes before turning around and walking out of his life for good.

BACK TO PRESENT DAY:

Finishing off the bottle in his hands he stumbled back towards the house where he could hear the party still going strong even though it was well into the morning. Opening the door to the house he did his best to make a beeline right for the tables full of alcohol. Picking up a decently full bottle of whiskey he made his way upstairs to the bathroom in an attempt to be alone to wallow in his self loathing.

He couldn't even remember how long he had been in there, but before he knew it the door was being thrown open by a very giggly and very drunk Kenny McCormick.

"DUDE! There you are we've been looking all over for you!" Kenny laughed. "I've gotta tell Butters that I found you! He's been out of it for hours! Only had a couple of shots too!"

"Oh...hey Kenny. Listen I've gotta get out of here dude. I have way to much on my mind for this party."

"Shit dude OK. I'll go find Butters and we can drive you back to your house."

"Thanks for the offer Kenny but I don't think that any of us are in our right minds for driving. You're pretty fucking shitfaced too dude." It's not like it would do any good anyways seeing as how he was already halfway down the hallway.

Sighing Stan made his way downstairs and back outside, thoughts running through his mind. He had nothing to live for anymore so why even care if Kenny drove home? Well just because he has a bit of a death wish doesn't mean that Kenny and Butters should have to risk death right along with him. No they don't deserve that...but then who could give him a ride home? His parents were out of town and everyone else he knew was nearly as drunk as he was...well almost everyone. There's only one person in their class that wouldn't go to a party like this no matter how much they were asked to...Kyle Broflovski. But he couldn't possibly ask him for help right now. Not after what happened. No fuck this. Kyle needs to know the truth, needs to know just how sorry he is for what he did. There's no better time to fix that then the present though right? He pulled out his phone and pressed the 1 on the pin pad, Kyle's number being programmed to speed dial months ago.