All right, I don't own any of Tamora Pierce's characters. I own a few copies of her books, but that is about it. Soooo, yeah... no suing if you please.
Anyways, sorry if a few of the characters are a bit OOC. I haven't really been up to date on her books, but a few friends of mine pointed out a few choice pieces of fiction, and well, I always thought that Sandry could play the bit of giving up something she really wanted. After all, she did it in most of the books... yeah...
Just no flames please. Reviews definitely would be nice...
Smiles. I was sick and tired of smiles.
They hurt you know. Oh, not in the conventional sense, or maybe they do. It hurts when you have to smile wanly, frivolously at the nobles that you didn't want to start a war with- your cheeks began to burn at the excess use. But really, it didn't hurt quite as much as someplace deep inside of me. Past the ball of writhing magic that I constantly kept in check, passed several walls and whatnot, there was a place I had read about in books. A place that could feel so wonderful, could make a fool out of you, a part that I was told I had in spades. It was a part of me that I supposed was my heart. That was where it hurt to smile the most at. Because when it all came down to it, smiles had to ALWAYS reach there, or they hurt something fierce.
I was a nobel. I had the noble's pride. I should have been used to shallow smiles that hurt me somewhere deep. Like now.
I had perhaps seen a grand total of ten true smiles on Trisina's face. Maybe it was because she was the smart one, the one that didn't bother with the fake smiles. Smirks? Yes, I had seen those quite often. Wry twitches of the lips? More than you can count. Those were the things that made Tris, well, Tris. It would have seemed odd to see her trying to fake a smile, even more so to see a real one on her face. The types of smiles that lit up her face, made her stormy eyes twinkle, made you think that she was as beautiful as she tried to hide.
She had one of those smiles right now.
Her eyes were crinkled gaily. Her lips were pulled back to reveal white teeth, and her plump cheeks seemed to glow. I think they call such things visions. I haven't really even TRULY seen one, despite all the things that I have seen in my life. But if there ever was a definition of visions, it would be Trisina Chandler's smile. Her real one.
And next to that, there came him.
He was smiling too, his green eyes alight with a sort of question to me. His teeth showed too, seeming to gleam even whiter than her's against tanned skin. I think that it was meant to call a smile from me. I think. I don't say that I know because I have thought to know a lot of things, and not many of them have been true.
Wanly, I felt the stretch of my smile, pull on my mouth. My lips would part perfectly. My hands would clasp together in the very epitome of lady-like pleasure in my lap, and I had even learned a neat little trick that could make my eyes sparkle. It was all in the eyes you know. The convincing facade? It took the eyes to make it real. Just like it took a loom and thread to make seamstress's vision real.
"So you approve?"
Not really. The small part of me that I hated. The completely horrible part of me that could be a spoiled rotten brat spoke softly, a venomous sensation that left my extremities cold. They could sense it, I think. Not to what extent of course, but they could see a proverbial storm brewing behind cornflower blue eyes.
"Of course," The smile widened. What else could I say? I could say that I didn't approve, I could say a lot of things. But in the end, I know, they know, everyone knew, it wouldn't make any difference. Just as it hadn't when they had left Emelan on their separate journeys, it would not matter. It was going to happen. Things like this always did. "Why would I not?" Briar looked at me. Really looked at me.
His dark brow cocked, a silent questions that I met with a reproachful glare. If I said I was all right, I was all right, wasn't I? Of course not that part of me scoffed again. I sighed delicately, twisting my hands about as if unsure what to do. What could I do in a position such as this? I saw the familiar twitch of Briar's brow, and Tris's raise of pale eyebrows. They sense that something was amiss. A light laughter bubbled from my throat, and that seemed to put theme at ease. At least THAT was real.
Laughing at what a stupid bleater I was being.
"Thank you," It was Briar that spoke. Briar in that voice that made me positively swoon. Briar in that way that made me love him. I looked at him, offering my arms first to Tris, who walked into them willingly. I would have to have a talk with her later, about responsibilities and the like, but right now, right now this was her moment. I would not ruin something that was supposed to be happy for her. She smelled of rain, I realized, pulling back with a light kiss to her cheeks, and the old, familiar glare was back in her eyes.
"Don't think that this changes anything," she reminded me. I promised it wouldn't. My arms released her, opening them up to Briar, my darling Briar. He also came into them willingly, bringing with him the smell of earth and living things, a smell that I loved more than anything else.
"Are you sure that nothing is wrong, Duchess?" I felt that stirring in my belly. I always felt that disconcerting feeling when I was around him. My lips stretched again in a smile, checking and re-checking the link between us to make sure that it was carefully guarded. It still was strong, just as it always would be.
"Nothing is wrong," I laughed lightly, pressing the same kiss to his cheek as I had to Tris's. "In fact, you could say that they are quite good. I was beginning to wonder when you two were going to figure it out." He pinched my nose teasingly, returning to HER side, lacing his arms around HER waist, kissing the top of HER head. "But you must tell me of a date. I most certainly have quite a few gowns that will need stitching."
"Sometime in the spring," Tris was matter of fact when she told me this. I think that she knew something was amiss as well. I never was very good at hiding things from them.
"Lovely," I answered as pretty as you please, flashing my dimples demurely. "Well, I am sure that you have many people to tell. Wedding guests don't just invite themselves you know." I was probably the last one to know. The one that they hadn't been quite sure was going to approve. I didn't, but no need to tell them that.
"Hmm, well," Briar didn't seem convinced, neither did Tris. They were staring at me, and I was looking back, trying to smooth out the wrinkles that weren't there. "You were the last..."
"Oh, but I have quite a bit of work I need to finish," I empathetically replied, picking at a few silk threads to prove a point. They seemed to take the hint because they backed from the door with lingering, sidelong glances my way. I think that Tris was rubbing off on him too much.
Several seconds passed. Seconds that seemed like an eternity before I felt them grow farther and farther away, seconds before the smile faltered and finally fell. And not even that long before I felt the first drop roll down my chin.
Yes, I hated fake smiles becuase it made it easier for you to cry in the end.
-Hides-, well, there you have it. Please no flames, but I would like lots of nice reviews... Oh, and I am sorry for any misspellings. This isn't my normal computer (on vacation), and so I don't have a really good spell-checker.
