Prologue: What's with the pineapples? Oh, and you are so not a psychic.
"Keeping that in mind, I really think it would be better for you--"
Melanie put her cell on mute and speaker, then set it on the table. Let her mom jabber away, she wasn't interested in what would be better for her. Teaching hadn't been good enough for mother, and being unemployed was just an aneurism waiting to happen. She would never be happy with Melanie's career choice.
"Mellie? Mellie, are you listening to me? Come home, baby. Rodger said he'd take you back at the school any time--"
Melanie stabbed the mute button with her index finger. "Mom, I'm not coming back. I like it here in Santa Barbara," she said firmly.
"Mellie--"
"Bye, Mom." She pressed END with more force than necessary and threw the phone back in her bag.
"Parent problems?"
She looked up at the man standing across from her at her little table. He was hardly any older than she was, with brown hair and green eyes. He was wearing a goofy smile and a vividly green t-shirt.
"Mm, brilliant deduction," she answered sarcastically. Not her normal attitude, but she was feeling rather annoyed thanks to her mother.
He put two fingers to his temple and made a face like he was concentrating very hard. "Hm, let me see…your mother wanted you to get a good-paying job and marry a man with a good-paying job, but you went after your own dreams. Consequently…parent problems."
"What are you, psychic?" she muttered, annoyed but amused.
"Yes, actually." He held out his hand. "Shawn Spencer, Head Psychic for the Santa Barbara Police Department."
"Melanie Howell," she answered, taking his hand and shaking it lightly. "And you're not a psychic."
"Ah, I see we have a non-believer. That's all right, I don't expect everyone to just take my word--"
"No, I'm not a non-believer. You're just not a psychic. Sorry to break it to you, Shawn." She grinned as she stood up. "Now, if you don't mind, I have both an unemployment check to pick up and a job interview to get to. It was nice meeting the Head Non-Psychic for the SBPD."
"Funny thing," he continued, blocking her way to her VW Bug. "I, too, have an interview. Only, I'll be the interviewer rather than the interviewee."
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly; this boy was the biggest ham she had ever met. No doubt his tactics worked with nearly every pretty girl he used them on, but she wasn't drawn in by his good looks. "That's lovely, Shawn, but I really need to get moving. Good luck with that interview." She stepped around him and pulled her keys out of her bag, pressing the unlock button on her clicker as she reached for the door handle.
"I'll see you around, then?" he called as she slammed the door.
"Sure, Shawn. See you around," she muttered to herself, laughing as she waved to him quickly. Slamming her foot on the gas, she sped away with a squeal of tires and a plume of smoke.
--
Psych. As in, "Psych! Gotcha!"? Melanie still couldn't believe the name of the agency, but it seemed interesting enough to serve as a temporary job. Sure, she wouldn't get to work on cases, but even just being a secretary should provide many the opportunity to listen in on an unusual case. Psychics had to get bizarre cases, right?
She slammed the door behind her as she climbed out of her Bug and adjusted her sunglasses. That was the only drawback to Santa Barbara; sunlight. It was so bright, she had hardly removed her sunglasses since she stepped off the plane. A big change from the overcast shores of Washington state.
"Here goes nothing," she muttered, smoothing out her only dress-type shirt and picking a piece of lint off her dark grey pinstriped pants. With a deep breath, she pushed open the door and stepped into the office, where she was greeted by the sound of two men bickering. She peered around the corner to investigate.
"I am not going with you, Shawn," the one was saying. He was Black, with a shaven head and office-type clothes. His expression told Melanie that he was being coerced into something he did not want to do.
"Aw, come on, Gus! It'll be fun! When is harassing Lassie ever not fun?" the other replied. Melanie nearly choked when she saw who it was; Mr Shawn Spencer, Head Non-Psychic for the Santa Barbara Police Department.
"Ahem," she coughed lightly, drawing their attention.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the man Shawn had called Gus said, immediately falling into a gracious businessman type attitude. She had to try very hard not to roll her eyes and laugh. "You must be one of the applicants. Please, have a seat."
"Hey, Mels! I didn't know you were my interviewee!" Shawn said from where he was sitting in a padded swivel chair, his feet propped up on a desk.
"You know her?" Gus hissed at Shawn.
"Shouldn't you have known that, Mr Head Psychic? And, Mels? Really? What kind of nickname is that?" Melanie interrupted, half-laughing, before she addressed Gus. "Gus, is it? I'm Melanie Howell. Shawn and I met about an hour ago over my cheesecake and lemon tea."
"Oh, come on, Mels is a great nickname!" Shawn protested.
"I see," Gus muttered darkly. Then he cleared his throat, cast Shawn a warning look, and gestured to an empty chair. "Why don't you have a seat, Miss Howell."
"Melanie, please," she replied with a grimace.
"Right, Melanie. I'm Burton Guster, assistant psychic detective."
"Call him Gus. And his actual title is Magyk Head, psychic sidekick."
Gus threw Shawn a disgruntled glower. "Shut up, Shawn."
"Can I interrupt?" Melanie said. They both looked at her. "Could we maybe get to the interview? Not that I don't enjoy the amusing bickering, but…"
"Only one question: do you enjoy pineapple?"
She raised an eyebrow at the not-so-psychic. "Er, yes, I do."
"You're hired. Congratulations, Mels, and welcome to Psych!"
"What? Shawn! We don't even know if she has the capabilities to be our secretary!" Gus hissed at him.
"Come on, buddy! I totally sense that she's an awesome secretary," Shawn replied.
Melanie just rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I don't mean to be pushy, but am I hired or not? I can give you my resume, and I'm happy to wait until you both agree on whether or not I'm your new secretary. I've got nothing else to do tonight."
Gus glowered at Shawn, but simply muttered, "As long as we have someone to file our papers…."
"Great! Then you're hired," Shawn said happily. "See, Gus, isn't that great? First interview, and we've already got our secretary! I told you it wouldn't be a problem."
"Whatever, Shawn." He turned back to Melanie, the business-attitude turned back up to full volume. "Okay, Miss--er, Melanie, we can go ahead and get all the paperwork out of the way…."