(A/N i just had this idea when i was chatting to my maytee Steph on msn and listening to Evanescence- Hello, Bot h Steph and hello are my for this story so enjoy)

Summary: Bella goes through life changing experiences and never finds her place in the world; follow her as she wonders through life! See her ups and downs as she goes... Set in the 1850's T for dark nature

Don't try to fix me in not broken

Chapter 1. A normal day in 1850
Bella's point of view

I woke up for what i though was going to be the best day of my life, it's my seventeenth birthday and my mother Renée and father Charlie are taking me out for a picnic. They are taking me to my meadow, i found it one day when i was riding out on my horse star-light. Of course i didn't tell anyone about it to start with but when but when my parents noticed i was gone more they started to question me. They though i had met a boy and wanted to know where i was all the time. They didn't believe me when i said i was just out riding, so i decided to take them to my meadow. My mother fell in love with it and my father said it was a wonderful place. After that they never bothered to ask why i was out so much they understood the beauty of my meadow.

"Isabella, are you up dear?" my mother called from down stairs, i stretched and got out of bed.
"Yes mother i am up" i called back down. I walked up to my vanity table when Jessica came into my room. Jessica was my maid she helped me dress and make myself presentable. My family isn't poor we are one of the most wealthy family in the state.
"Good morning miss, And may i say happy birthday?" I laughed at her i don't know how many times i have told her now.
"Jessica you don't have to be so formal i have known you for years just call me Bella"
"Ok then mis- I mean Bella" I laughed again
"were getting there" She smiled at me and tightened the corset around my waist.
"Breathe in. 1, 2, 3" she instructed and i breathed in. God i hate corsets but of course mother though it was sloppy not to wear one and highly improper.

Jessica helped me slip on my gown, it was simple, elegant but also said sophisticated. It was sapphire blue, my hair fell into curls and i clipped some up in the back and left the rest down. I had no need to use make up as i was already pale.
"Your mother and father await you, they are down at breakfast" Jessica said before leaving.
"Thank you Jessica, you really are the best" For some reason this felt like a goodbye more than a thank you or a birthday wish. I disposed of that though and pushed it to the back of my mind.

As I headed down the stairs to the dining room I was thinking about what mother had said last week, 'On the week-end of your 17th birthday we will be holding a ball, I hope you do find somebody you like, we can't have you getting old and not have yourself a man' I was worried. Yes I am very mature for my age I have always been told that but I'm not ready to find that person and knowing my mother she would probably set me up with some body I don't like just so she can have little grand-babies. I'm not even in my 20's and she already wants grand-children I'm horrified. Just because her and dad were married at 17 doesn't mean I have to be. She had me when she was 18 and there is a fat chance I will have children when I'm 18. Yeah sure I love children there all cute and lovable but now is not the time.

Mother and father were both sitting at the dining room table. Father was reading the newspaper while mother was singing to herself.
"Good morning mother, good morning father" I said and smiled as I sat in my normal spot and waited for Anne to bring out my breakfast. Anne is one of our kitchen staff, she brings all our food out we have others that work in the kitchen but I hardly see them.
"Good morning Isabella, happy birthday honey" My father greeted me, came up and kissed me on the cheek, then was back down reading his paper.
"Good morning dear, happy birthday. Did you sleep well?" My mother pulled me into a hug and kissed my other cheek.
"Yes I did thank you mother" And with that Anne came from the kitchen with our breakfast. Of course they made me pancaked even know father said it is not very healthy and I shouldn't eat them I still do and he gave up on his lectures.
"Happy birthday miss Isabella" she said with a curtsy
"Thank you Anne" I said as she left.

Father said grace and we ate in silence after we finished Anne returned and took our plates from us.
"Mother, Father are we still riding out to the meadow today?" I asked
"Yes we are, would you like me to ask Sam to tack up Star-light?"
"No thank you mother I shall do it, as you know she prefers it when it is I that does it" Mother and Father both know that star only likes it when I that tack her up, she is very fussy and I have owned her since she was a yearling we both grew up together I got her when I was only 7. She is my best friend, I tell her all my secrets and the best part is she can't tell anybody.
"Mother will you be taking out Ginger?" I asked and she nodded "Father will you be taking out Henry?" I asked again and he also nodded.
"But Isabella I know how you love the horses but please allow Sam to tack up Ginger and Henry" She always worried about me when I was near the horses, she didn't mind to much when it is just star but any if the others and she worries I may get hurt. I sighed
"Ok mother I promise to let Sam deal with the other two" And with that I left to the stables down the back of the court yard.

A/N Thank you for reading (: Love it? Hate it? Let me know

~Paigey Megan X