Okay...Hi there! This is my first time entering the lair of self-inserting. I'm not sure how I will fare, but I will try my hardest. I'm a huge Mass Effect fan and I was inspired by the works of iNf3ctioNZ and Herr Wozzeck to try it myself. If you still have not read their stories, do so. Now. It's awesome.

On a note, I have to say that this is a trial version for now. I'm not sure how I will fare writing this down, since it's my first try and all and my experience is close to none but if everything will go well, I guess I'll continue it without any problems. If it wont...well, lets not go there, I really hope it will go just as I want it.

Disclaimer: I dont own Mass Effect or any other product related to it. It belongs to Bioware. Even if actually did own Mass Effect, I doubt it would've been good because Bioware created a masterpiece. Now that we're done with the disclaimer stuff, lets go on to the story.

God, I hate mornings. I sluggishly stumble into the kitchen and start making myself a bowl of cereal, accidentally spilling half of the milk in the carton since I still didn't open my eyes. After cleaning the mess I made I finally sat down and ate my breakfast at a leisure pace.

Damn, I want to sleep. At least one more hour. Freaking school with their whining teachers. I'm late by fifteen minutes and they start calling me, asking me where the hell am I. So either way, I wouldn't have slept for long anyway since my cellphone, which happens to be my alarm-clock, would've woken me up. For some reason the idea of simply turning the damn thing off never crosses my mind before going to sleep.

I glance out of the window to watch the frigid tundra that is outside. Freaking Russia. At least its not like everyone thinks it is. It's only minus twenty degrees now and it will get warmer later but damn, it was still cold.

With depressed resignation I go to wash my face and get dressed.

I stifle a massive yawn as I walk to the bus station in front of the house. I have to wonder why I'm bothering to go to the vocational school, since I pretty much completed all my courses and I only have the exams left, which will be in three weeks. Probably because I don't want the teachers to bother me about lowering my grades for lack of attendance. At least they don't really care about my lack of attention nowadays.

I yawn again as I cross the road, already seeing the bus turning around the corner. Good, just on time, exactly as I like it.

Though before I can actually cross the road I feel a strong hand clamp on my shoulder and spin me around. I wanted to shout out a 'what the hell are you doing?' or something along those lines but what came out of my mouth sounded more like a "Wghey!"

Who the hell does things like this in the middle of a frozen road with incoming cars? I'm sure I don't know anyone who will do that in the neighborhood. When I finally spun around to see who it was I saw that it was someone completely unfamiliar and a bit out of place.

It was a blond man, maybe a few years older than me, with a wide grin on his face. The reason I was confused by how he looked was the simple fact that he wore a weird t-shirt and a thin-looking brown jacket. I was completely sure that the guy must be freezing right now. He didn't even have a hat!

"Hello!" the man greeted me cheerily, catching me completely off-guard and stopping my angry retort. What the hell is going on? I opened my mouth to say that I don't know him and that I'm being late but he interrupted me once again. "You know, you should really watch the road when you cross it," he said with a disappointed sigh, looking to his left.

"What?" I mumble out, looking at the same direction. A bright white light blinds me, I hear a loud car horn and the shriek of brakes. The blond guy doesnt move and he keeps holding me in place with his strong grip on my shoulder. Then again, I doubt I had any time to move since the car was barely five meters from us.

Shit.

Before I can do anything, or even open my mouth to scream like a girl, everything goes black, leaving me in inky darkness.

I groan as waves of nauseating pain hit my head. What the hell happened? Was I hit by that car? I'm not really sure. Everything hurts but it doesn't feel like anything's broken. More like I've been drinking a whole lot last night and I'm suffering a major hangover. Only without the alcohol.

I'm lying on my back, resting on something hard, most probably the floor and realize that I'm sweating and actually feeling more than warm. Its hot. This lets me know that I wasn't left in the middle of the road, since then I would be freezing right now. With the amount of warm clothes I wear, I feel like I'm slowly being melted right now.

I slowly open my eyes and groan again at the bright lights that assault my eyes. I blink away the bleariness and finally get a good look at my surroundings. And I blink again.

I've been living in my town for only the past 3 years and I'm not entirely familiar with the whole area but I know for sure that it definitely doesn't have weird, metallic-looking alleys. Who the hell hits someone with a car and then dumps the still-living person in some weird, futuristic alley? This was fishy and my weird sense was tingling. I get up, ignoring the pain my aching muscles were giving me and finally stand up and get a better look.

Okay...I'm definitely not anywhere near home. First of all, my town was definitely not futuristic like...this. I had to admit that I already saw this somewhere but I couldn't trust my poor brain yet. I just woke up, supposedly got hit with a car and woke up again. I slowly walk out of alley to get a better look around and froze at what was greeting me.

Floors that were washed to the point I could see my reflection on it. Long arms of some enormous structure stretched into the distance and beyond them I could see purple-pink clouds and at some areas, the stars beyond. The small blinking lights on the structure's arms were blinking at me, just like the stars that I could see in the distance. A thing that looked like a flying car of some type flew above me in silence.

For that moment, all those things were completely forgotten in the favor of concentrating on the thing that was slowly approaching me. The avian features, the face-paint that I always considered badass, the horn-like things on his head...

A turian was walking towards me. A freaking turian. A freaking real-live turian that was currently glaring at me. I couldn't help it. I knew that I was probably gaping at him but I didn't really care at the moment. I was looking at a turian!

The turian huffed in annoyance and walked away, muttering something that I couldn't hear. I looked after him, wondering if I hit my head a little bit too hard. When he was out of sight I looked around and saw everything else.

Salarians, an asari or two, more turians and even an elcor were walking around, doing their business, with humans scattered around in the crowd in front of me.

I stop it. I slowly inched back into the alley and started trying to calm my suddenly quick breath.. I never had a panic attack before, but I was sure that this was it. I was on the Citadel. The freaking Citadel that didn't exist.

I had several theories on how I ended up here. The first, and the leading one, was that I was hit so hard so hard I got brain damage and was now living in my own fantasy world. Another one was that the car hit me so hard it actually tore open the fabric of time and space and flung me over 150 years into the future or another universe altogether. The last one happened to be the milk being spoiled and I was currently rolling around in the dirty snow in front of the bus station, foaming at the mouth and having the trip of my life. Then again, I'm pretty sure that spoiled milk doesn't cause hallucinations. Maybe the spoiled milk triggered some obscure disease and I'm slowly dieing with extreme hallucinations? Maybe I've been watching too much House...

I peeked out of the alley again, hoping that it was my imagination but no, all the aliens and futuristic stuff were still there.

Shit. What the hell am I supposed to do now? None of the advise I ever got covered the part where I have finally gone insane and found myself at a place from a video game.

"Uh, excuse me?" a voice said from behind me.

I spin around, raising my arms to defend myself and maybe launch a punch or two to knock out whoever was attacking me. Thankfully no attack was coming and instead I found a salarian standing behind me, looking at me weirdly. My paranoia was starting to get to me. I lowered my arms and took a small step back from the alien because quite honestly I was finding him to be incredibly creepy. "Y-yes?" I asked and couldn't believe I was stuttering.

The salarian looked to be calming down and cleared his throat. "Ah yes, I was asked to give you something," the salarian said, looking my clothes, which probably looked really weird for him. I haven't seen anyone wear jeans and a leather jacket here, or a stocking cap, so far and I was suddenly aware that I was sticking out like a sore thumb. I did not want any attention at the moment.

And I still couldn't get over the fact that I was talking with an alien. Wasn't it only two days ago that I was complaining to Sand that life was too boring and that we needed an alien invasion to spice things up? I think that whoever listened that day must've messed something up. I wanted invaders in my world, not me invading another universe.

The salarian reached into his pocket and I tensed up, taking another step back, expecting to see a gun or a knife or some vile alien weapon that would incapacitate me and leave me alone in the alley, missing all my important organs.

Fortunately, the thing that came out of his pocket was a simple datapad and I realized that must be looking like an utter idiot to him. I quickly gather myself and take the datapad from his hands. Oh god, I took something from an alien! If I wasn't so freaked out at the moment I would've probably done a victory dance. Successful first contact for the win!

"Here you go," the salarian said. "I was already paid to give it to you so that will be all. Good day," and with that, the salarian walked away without giving me another look. I looked after him, wondering what the hell I was going to do now. I was light-years away from home, quite possibly a lot more than light-years. I had no way to go back, at least that I knew of. No money, no place to stay. I was completely lost and utterly alone. What the fuck did I get myself into? I needed help, but there was no one to help me...

Well, there was always Shepard and the team. If there was a reason for me to be here, Shepard must be the number one reason for it. But I had no idea when Shepard will get to the Citadel, or if Shepard already left it. Hell, I didn't even have a clue which gender Shepard was! I was utterly and undeniably screwed. I needed a plan...I needed something to do.

I looked down at the datapad I just got and with a mental shrug decided to check it out. It was better than nothing. As long as I had something to do, I had something to take my mind off the shitty situation if found myself in. It took me a bit over a minute to figure out how to use the unfamiliar tech but I eventually figured it out. Upon reading the first line I was feeling angry.

'Grow a pair and walk out of the relatively-safe alley you're hiding in'

Who the hell wrote this? How did they know I was in this alley anyway? And the jibe about me being a coward is completely unfair. I just had first contact with an alien! What happens if I stumble upon an angry krogan and my charm wont be able to save me from a painful death? Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit here. I'll steer clear of krogans for now until I manage to figure out what the hell I'm going to do. I'm also alone, lost in an unfamiliar place and scared out of my mind.

'After you exit the alley, turn right and continue walking for five minutes until you see a cafe. I suggest you to not waste more time' Okay, this was definitely weird. I considered my options and found nothing good. Whoever wrote this seems to know me. This was better than the nothing I currently have. I had a choice. I can either stay in this alley and try to think of a way to get home or I can actually do something while trying to find a way to get home and off this clusterfuck of a mess. Maybe this was a dream? I pinched myself and winced. I waited for several seconds but everything still remained the same. Damn. It seems I'm stuck here.

And so I gathered my breath and courage and took the first step out of the alley and turned right. As I walked I realized that I was right. Everyone was giving me the weirdest looks but then again, so would I in their place. The Citadel had a warm, pleasant temperature but with my thick and warm clothes it felt like I was walking through a desert on a summer day. I looked completely out of place, not just because I was dressed weirdly but also because I couldn't help but stare. The graphics in the games did no justice to any of the races. They looked so real now. Then again, if this was not a weird hallucination or a freaky dream, they actually are real. If I'm in a video game, does it make them real? Where does that leave me? Am I real? I decided to steer away from these thoughts. I would just end up confusing myself and I was already confused more than enough, thank you very much.

Exactly around five minutes after I left the alley I finally spotted the cafe. It was a relatively small place. Most of the tables were taken too. A couple of salarians were sitting by one table, chatting animatedly. A grumpy-looking turian was slowly sipping something out of his cup. Another turian was eating something, a blond guy was waving me over, an asari was talking her friend, a young human woman was taking an order from a customer.

I paused and backtracked. There really was a blond man waving me over with a wide grin. I walked closer and narrowed my eyes as I could see him in more detail. That grin looked incredibly familiar.

And then it hit me. I stopped in place and simply stared at the man, who was still grinning and waving me over like an idiot. This was the same guy who stopped me in the middle of the road. The same guy who I last saw before I woke up on the Citadel. The same guy who started this whole mess.

I'm not a violent guy, I never actually looks for fights but I was going to beat the living daylight out of him. With my bare hands. Maybe I'll grab the fork that turian is using. Sharp objects tend to cause much pain, and much pain is what I'm aiming for.

But first...I need some goddamn answers.

So here it is. The first chapter is now over. I honestly have no idea how it came out. Was it abysmal? Was it okay? Was it good? Meh, it's up to you I guess. It would make me happy to know what you think about it.

You should leave a review or a PM to let me know what you think. I would gladly accept any constructive criticism, suggestions and plain opinions. Hell, you can outright tell me that my story is shit, just give me a reason whyit sucks before I ignore it. Feel free to point out any mistakes I made (I make sure to write without them, but sometimes they manage to slip by my notice, you know how it goes) or tell me I forgot something. Giving me your opinion will help me better the story in the long run.

So...I guess some questions will be answered next chapter...and some wont be. So, until the next chapter, Delvaro out!