This is my first Fullmetal Alchemist story I've posted. The way that this story is written is based on another story of mine: "Orihime's Complex." Read and review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
She has always been selfish.
She is the only one who notices, though. Everyone else is oblivious. And that's the way she wants it. She doesn't want Colonel Mustang, Riza, Al, or Ed to know of her problem.
Especially Ed. Her selfishness was because of him.
She enjoys the time with him when he comes to her shop for repairs. She enjoys talking to him and laughing and reminiscing. When he leaves, there's an Ed-shaped void in her heart, in her life.
She wants Ed to get his arm and leg back. She really does. It hurts her every time that she reconnects his automail to his nerves. When he screams in agony, she cringes. She wants to take his pain away.
But she hates the thought of the boy recovering his body, she realizes with a jolt. For she knows that when Ed does manage to find the Philosopher's Stone, she will no longer be needed. He will not have a mechanical arm and leg that needs repair. She will be useless.
That scares her. She wants to be close to him. The only way that is possible is if he still has the automail. She has Ed all to herself when she is fixing his arm and leg. But if he has the automail, then the pain will never leave his life.
She hates feeling that way. She really does. Ed was her friend, and here she was hoping for his failure.
Some friend.
So, every time he and Al set off on a journey to follow a lead, she secretly wishes that it will be a wild goose chase, and he will be back at her door, needing a new arm and leg. And every time that happens, she feels guilty that her wish has come true.
So until something happens, she will cheer him on from the sidelines, while holding her breath and hoping that he will not succeed.
Yes, she knew she was selfish.