He was dead.
In school everyone used to say that I was weird. I've never really understood why, but I was once asked by my instructor Mrs. Shance if I had ever seen a psychiatrist. I was a good boy, so I told her that I hadn't. It wasn't a lie, but it really wasn't the whole truth.
Others have tried to force me to see one. But my dad knew me. He knew that I didn't need help. He's the only one that actually really listened….
I'm not a good boy now. I've hurt a lot of people. Some deserved it…others, deserved it less.
Have you ever heard of a radio without static? Me either. It's sorta like placing a foreign limb on another person. It doesn't really sound right, but you've heard it in your head so many times that its become kinda nice.
I like repetition. I remember it used to drive my mom nuts, but dad said she was already that way. When I was real young I used to grind my teeth 27 times in a row before I ate. It was really calming, but no one else understood why I did it. My dad never questioned it though.
He's always been really good at understanding me.
He's dead now.
It's been 4 years since I've seen him. Calypso never would let me. He said things in time would get better…and in a way they have.
I'm back in school now. People don't really make fun of me anymore. They're too afraid. They're afraid of what I can do. Reanimating corpses has become a hobby of mind…
I once reanimated Elvis Presley, because my dad really liked him. He didn't really say much though. Just kept looking at me with his glazed over eyes. I didn't waste the experience though, because I figured out that a reanimated Elvis Presley can feel pain. Over and over and over again.
I liked that part a lot.
Sometimes I wonder what my dad would think if he saw me now. If he would still be so understanding…. He didn't like my older brother's murders, but perhaps he would be alright with mine. They were, at the very least, mercy killings. And at the very worst they would help others understand the limitations of the human body in all its forms. Alive or rotting.
That had to be helpful to someone I guess….
Lately people have tried to be in prison. So far Calypso has stopped them, but I wonder how long that will last. Apparently taking an insanity plea can only go so far when you continuously get caught. But I think the judge likes me, because he told me I have a lot of potential there.
Calypso says that isn't a good thing, that it's another "not saying what you mean" contraption.
I don't get them. Doctors told me that I was autistic, and moderately so. They said it explained why it was difficult for me to understand facial expressions, bad phrases ("Like the pot calling the kettle black".), and why I had so many "quirks". That's not the word they used, but dad told me not to listen to them. That I'm fine the way I am, and that they're just jealous that their sons are on street corners giving blow for a few dollars.
I've asked Calypso what, "giving blow", means but he never responds to those types of questions.
He's not as good as my dad was, but that's OK. I'd be angry if he tried to be.
I miss my dad sometimes when I'm alone. But Calyspo took his body away, and I don't know where it is anymore. Sometimes I think about torturing Calyspo into telling me, sometimes I want to see him squirm.
I can't though. I'm in enough trouble as it is, and he's the only one blocking my almost-inevitable imprisonment.
I know I'm not a good boy. At least not anymore. So, I'm not mad at anyone for trying to lock me up. I think it might be fun. But, I would like to stay where I am right now. House arrest with supervised outings is rather nice. I'm never alone anyway.
When I'm upset I like to pretend I died too that night. Both of us shot in the head. Bloody, rotting, disgusting. He could really say I got my good looks from him then.
I killed my mom a few years ago. It was kinda messy. No one liked it. They say I stabbed her 27 times in the face. I told them, "I stabbed her 1 time in the face out of spite, and 26 times in the face because I had to keep that number."
27 is a nice number. It doesn't try too hard, it's not too pretty, and it's not a common number to like. It's my number. I like it.
There was this girl in class that I liked. Her name was Trixie. Most of the kids made fun of her at first, but I kept close and they soon stopped. They say she's not pretty, but I think she's the most heavenly thing on the planet.
That's another phrase I know. I learned it from a book that Mrs. Shance gave me. I like Mrs. Shance, she doesn't look at me like the rest do.
I'm not very good in some subjects. English is too hard, and History too boring. I like Math and Science though. They say I'm a genius with metal, but I just like to make things. Remote controls was just the first thing I made. I've had 4 years to make new things, you know.
I made Trixie a jewelry box. It had a spinning ballerina in it that resembled Cinderella. I know she likes Cinderella because she has stickers of her on her binder. The other girls made fun of her for it, but I stopped that too.
When she opened it she was surprised, but I think she was happy. It's hard to tell sometimes. She showed her mom, but her mom didn't like it.
I had crossed a line somewhere.
Using pieces of human flesh and hair was something bad. I didn't know. I thought everyone would like it. I had tried really hard to find just the right shade of skin and hair for the doll inside. But it didn't matter.
The police took me to jail again. I don't like them. My dad said I should respect them, but they use people. Manipulate them. They're the ones that deserve imprisonment.
I was just trying to impress her.
It was my third or fourth strike since my insanity plea. They are still not sure what to do with me. Some say I can be fixed, others say I'm completely broken.
I think their just stupid.
If they had been in love, perhaps they would have understood. One day I'm going to find Trixie again. Her parents took her far far away from me. I don't know where. It makes me sad. When I find her again, though, I'm going to never let her go. Even if she struggles, I'll keep her with me.
But I think I'll only keep the remote as a warning. I really do think she'll like me in time…
Blackfield Asylum Patient Profile
Name: Son Kane
Info: Male
Age: 12
Disorder: Autism (mechanical savant), Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Treatment: None.
Comments: Due to a successful court hearing on the boy's end they have decided to keep him on House Arrest with 24/7 supervision. He is not doing well and has already killed another and wounded 2 in the last 6 months. We will request admission into our facility.
Possible obsession surrounding a classmate. Classmate has been placed into the Witness Protect Program until further notice.