The card was pressed into her hands by Fury, who already assured her that it had been investigated and that they had sent out a search party, but he had his doubts that they would find him. Bruce was smarter than that.
It was a postcard from Fiji. Steve was with her in the training room. It was late, and the Avengers-in-training had already gone to bed, exhausted from the day's extensive drills. Fury had left soon after delivering the postcard. It was just the two of them.
"Would you like me to leave?" Steve said, his voice careful. Wary.
She knew he was trying to be nice, but the sympathy and pity in her voice made her angry. Irrationally so. Be calm. Don't let him see. Don't let anyone see. "No, no it's fine." Keep your voice leveled. Flash him a smile. "I'm gonna go shower. It's been a long day."
Steve looked at her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He was trying to figure her out. "OK…"
Natasha smiled and nodded. "Goodnight Steve." She turned and headed to her quarters, clutching the postcard. She couldn't even look at it. Not in the open.
Once she entered her room, she shut the door behind her and leaned against it, trying to calm her beating heart. After a moment, she uncrumpled the postcard and looked at the front. Clear skies. Blue ocean. White sand. A palm tree. A hut overlooking the beautiful view. In big, red letters splayed across the top, the words "Greetings from Fiji."
Slowly, Natasha turned it over to read the other side. I adore you, too.
Each individual word hit her in the chest like a knife. Each syllable like a punch in the stomach.
It left her with a feeling of want. A feeling of loneliness.
She wanted him with her. She wanted him. Awkward, dorky, brooding, lost. All of him.
She needed a shower. To clear her head. Dropping the postcard on her bed, she stripped and walked into the bathroom adjacent from her bedroom. Turning on the hottest setting, she stepped in, enjoying the feeling of scalding water against her skin.
Closing her eyes, she couldn't help but imagine Bruce in there with her, too. Wrapping her in his arms, rubbing her skin, pressing her against him, complaining about how the water was too hot with that dorky half grin on his face. He had the saddest, kindest eyes.
She hadn't cried since Bruce left. She hadn't cried in years. And she wasn't about to start now. She wouldn't let herself.
Natasha stepped out of the shower, dried herself off, and put on the comfiest pair of pajamas she had. Looking out the window, she couldn't help but wonder where he was now. Surely not in Fiji anymore.
She wished desperately that he was with her.
But life goes on. There were more important things to think about. More important things to do. People who needed her.
And she needed sleep.
Taking the postcard and crawling into bed, she read the words again. Ran her fingers along his messy handwriting. Imagined those words in his voice.
I adore you, too.
She hadn't cried in years. She wouldn't let herself.
I adore you, too.
And she needed sleep.
I adore you, too.
And she missed him so much.
I adore you, too.