This story was inspired by a hyper kid's random idea about the world being made of candy. Don't judge or I'll send wolves after you. I'm not updating my other story during the holidays. I'm going to dedicate this one shot to David Gumazon1, who I'm going to continue calling Crazy Dave. Why? He's the only one crazy enough to understand half of this. If you aren't at least 99.99% insane don't read this. Read my other story. This is a crazy idea. Don't judge me on this.
...
Still here? I warned you.
Steve woke up in a newly spawned world. He had been through this this many times before. It was almost like he was playing a game. Get wood. Hunt. Fight. Explore. Kill. Survive at any . He opened his eyes to see a familiar scene. He glanced around for trees. The same scenery. The sky, the soft, sludge-like dirt melting beneath him, the trees... the melting dirt? Tentatively he placed some in his mouth. It was sweet. Like cookies. It tasted different though; the taste of wheat was no longer there. He tried several others. The trees were also made of the same material. The lakes and rivers were filled with a cold bright blue liquid that he called 'bubblegum slushie'. The exposed vat he though had contained lava actually contained a sweet red warm liquid. He associated it with the word 'strawberry syrup' though he didn't know why.
Don't get distracted. You know how to play.
It was a cycle. He was spawned, he fought and he died. Sometimes a creeper would explode and he would barely last a night in the world, other times it was so peaceful and uneventful that he had the urge to kill himself. Constantly being bored by villages, seeing the same structures over and over... it got boring. This was a new world.
Enough musing Steve. You have to get to work.
As I punched a tree, I wondered whether the mobs would work the same way. And whether they were edible. Not that it was likely that I would starve. Here, food literally more common than dirt. Would the zombies attack? Would the strange creatures kill me? Would there be different creatures? I had made progress. I crafted enough chocolately planks for a house. Hopefully that was enough to keep out the mobs. Sometimes the zombies could break down the door. Other times they flailed uselessly until they butst into flames. It all depended on his luck. He closed the door as the sun fell, a huge chunk of candy sinking below the lime and chocolate that resembled grass. My fists weren't as sore as they normally were after tree punching. Normally, I would be removing tiny splinters of wood, which is why I alway tried to get a axe. I was afraid the zombies would knock down the door. But no, they didn't. They ate the roof. I was hit by falling candy at they dropped in. Wielding a chocolate sword against their claws made of shards of candy, I backed away. It took a while to kill them all.
I wonder if this stuff is edible.
Normally rotten flesh was disgusting, only to be eaten as a desperate measure. Once, when I had the will to live, I had eaten it to survive in a cave system. I forced myself to stomach it as I fought. A sour taste filled my mouth.
Lime.
Somehow the word came to my head. So helpful considering I was dying. Everything wanted to eat me. I looked closely. My skin was made of a soft substance.
Salted caramel.
No. I would be eaten alive here. I had to escape.
"No!" I screamed as a skeleton dropped through the roof.
I fought hard, losing patches of caramel skin, revealing a pattern of veins of melted jelly. My arms shook as strip after strip of candy were torn off. I couldn't hold out much longer.
Then the sun burst above the horizon bathing me in a supernatural warmth as it rose. The undead creatures melted to soupy sludge.
"Yes!" I yelled, giddy with joy and possibly blood loss if the melted jelly could be counted as blood. I crawled outside triumphantly.
I had survived the night.
Too bad I didn't notice the creeper. In an explosion of lime and caramel, I, Steve, died for what felt like the thousandth time.
Er... yay? I am perfectly sane, I have not lost my mind, so STOP TRYING TO RING THE POLICE! That said, this story sucks. Review, un-favourite, un-follow, whatever you do to such a random oneshot. I swear every other story I've written on Minecraft is 100 times better. This took less than two days to write so don't judge. Considering this is crazy, I'll end it on a crazy note.
YOLO!
*Chickens fall from the sky*