Authors Note: I hope you'll agree with me when I said this AU was a fantastic idea, and it was requested by one of the darling members of the Bellamione Discord. As soon as they suggested the idea I jumped on it because I'm a sucker for writing dark things and this story...this tale will most certainly be a dark one.
Prologue
It started with campaigning men's rights. I thin that was the turning point in what I suppose you could call a cold-civil-war. We fought as hard as we could, anyway we could but it wasn't' enough. How do you win against the people that had enough power to freeze your bank account and strip you of your job? How did you fight against the "man of the house" when he cooed that everything would be okay in your ear when you'd stress about current events?
Perhaps we would've fought harder at the start if our sons and husbands weren't whispering such words in our ears. They didn't lose their jobs, they still had access to their money-our money. They could provide for us!
They didn't realize we didn't need them to. We were just fine before they were the only employed in the house. We were just fine before they had access to all of our money. The men that were once our great loves became our owners. They couldn't see it the way we did. No, you can't fully know what's going on in someone's mind unless you're in the same boat as them. And the men's boat was a great ship that set sail with a mere gust of wind. The women's boat was a life raft without any oars.
My husband insisted it wold be alright. That this was just a passing fad. My husband was obviously an idiot-because if he had even an ounce of intelligence he would've seen the situation for what it was. A way to put women in what certain individuals believed was their place.
When they stopped caring about whether or not we would agree to partake in their sick sense of normalcy, they began putting us in "schools". We had to be rehabilitated, we needed to learn how to adjust to our new and "rightful" places in the world. These schools were not places of knowledge, but places designed to brainwash us. If you questioned what the "Aunt" preached more than taught, you'd be punished. If you visibly cowered from the screen when they showed their awful films, you'd be punished.
If you refused to fall into line, you'd be punished. And probably worst of all, if you failed to be useful, you'd be killed. They judged a person's worth by their fetility. To be more specific, they judged a woman's worth by her fertility. They refused to believe the Commanders of the new world were at fault for anything. Men were mostly perfect to Gilead. To claim anything else was treason and you'd be severely punished for doing so.
Before the new regime, they had their reasons to rape and do all that they did pre-Gilead. We tempted them with our clothes and sins. That's what the Aunts told us. That's what these women really expected us to believe. How a woman could, in confidence, tell us that we were the ones at fault if we were raped was baffling. I didn't understand it. I refused to fall victim to their awful sermons.
Every upperclass home had a head of house-a man of course-he was labelled the Commander. He was the one we were to lay down for so we might bear his child while his wife laid just behind us and propped our upper bodies up on her abdomen. It was a ceremony, we were to spend the whole day preparing ourselves for the Commander. Eat, bathe, perhaps eat again and listen to one of the Aunts' records which were a recorded Bible story. The Aunts were allowed to read and write unlike most other women, but they seemed to prefer doing so in private if at all.
It was sinful for a woman to read.
The Commanders were allowed to do whatever they pleased, mine had his own study like most other Commanders. I never saw the inside of it. I never wanted to. He belonged to a rich family before Gilead took over so he faired very well after the new Government changed everything. His wife...his wife was a different story. Shes the reason you're listening to me ramble on and on, isn't she? She was an exceptional woman.
A handmaid was given three chances to get pregnant before she was sent off to a colony and labelled an unwoman. You'll find I was fortunate enough to be put in the Lestrange Manor. It was my first chance. I'd like to think someone was looking out for me and the knew I'd be able to handle everything they threw at me there, be it fate or some God. I've heard of other handmaids who weren't nearly as fortunate. They suffered a great deal of abuses and were sent to a colony after everything they'd been through.
My life was far from easy but it was manageable and it was only manageable because I found her in the chaos of Gilead. I suppose this is where my story will diverge from other handmaids'. I'll save you all the sordid details and tell you only this: Bellatrix Lestrange saved my life and I'd like to believe in some way I saved her's too.