These rehearsals must be kept top secret. That's why Kurt only tells the three people he needs in order for them to be a success. Mercedes and Tina can keep a secret. They bribe Brittany with Dots. Hey, it's worked before.
Together, they get to work. Himself on his solo, Mercedes helping him and nailing down background vocals. He recruits Tina as costume consultant and Brittany as choreographer. It will be tight, but Kurt just has a feeling that he should be prepared, just in case.
"Now, the key to dancing is confidence," Brittany says around a mouthful of candy. "Even if you don't feel confident, pretend you do. Now, repeat after me," she says, swallowing, and then hauls off with some impressive and complicated steps.
"Britt, who do you think I am, Beyonce? I can't do that. I'll break my neck!" Kurt insists.
She puts a hand on her hip and cocks her head. Yes, you can! Did you or did you not do choreography for Ring on It with Tina back in the day? That's a Beyonce song. If you did that, you can totally do this. Here, just watch what I do. I'll break it down for you."
Kurt sighs. They've been at this for hours and they are no closer to a cohesive performance. It's looking like he'll be singing Music of the Night after all, unless a miracle happens.
"Now, at the beginning, you're gonna want to rip off that first outfit, because no one wants you in a suit for a fun song like this. Tina won't care," Brittany insists.
"Hey, Kurt, can I rip your clothes off?" Mercedes asks, laughing.
"I'll rip your clothes off," Tina volunteers eagerly.
"No, he's got to do it himself, because he can't risk damaging his magical golden pants," Brittany interjects seriously.
"MC Hammer pants," Mercedes jokes.
"Harem pants," Tina adds. "And I won't care! I chose them especially for this moment, so you'd better end up doing this number, Kurt. Those pants are too amazing not to show the world."
"Ladies, please!" Kurt interrupts. "I can't hear myself think."
"You're not supposed to think. Just move. And be sure to shake your hips a lot so we can see your pants!" Brittany advises.
"Okay, I'm taking it from the top!" he calls decidedly. "Any cracks about my pants and you're all demoted to the audience!"
"Fine," the three girls chorus, sounding put out.
So Kurt begins. He mimes ripping the suit off, and Brittany whoops from behind him. "Yeah! I dated you! Kurt, your pants are shining like the sun!"
By the time he's at the first chorus, all three are screaming, "Work! Work that song!" Work!" Mercedes is so loud, Kurt almost can't hear Brad. He's so encouraged by their spirit that Kurt doesn't have the heart to tell them that they're supposed to be singing backup.
"That was fantastic!" Tina and Mercedes tell him when he's finished.
"And so were your pants…" Brittany adds, as if she can't help herself. "Let's run it again!"
The End.