Hi folks, this is a one off story. Basically I wrote this when I was high on coffee and sugar.
Dolly: the pain! The agony! The weirdness!
Kurt: that is aimed at me! MEEEEE!!!
Wanda: good, if I have to suffer being a stupid Can-can girl that dies in the end, then you can suffer in a story that tortures you.
Kurt: this is cruelty to mutant muses!!!
Oh go cry about it! Just read it folks...
Disclaimer: not in any form of spoon, snakes and ladders do I own x-men.... Nor the muffins
here is your weird fic people. Flame it, kiss it, whatever!
"Kuuuuuurrrrrt!!!! Where are you?" Kitty's voice yelled throughout the institute. Kurt sat up straight on his bed and his eyes widen.
"oh no.... not ze muffins, please not the muffins...." Kurt stood up and went over to the door and peaked through the side. He saw Kitty with a big tray of green muffins. "oh Kurt, where are you? I got a very nice surprise for you" Kurt backed away from the door shaking with fear, looking around the room for a place to hide. "one two I'm after you...." Sang out Kitty "three four I'm near your door...." Kurt squeaked and dived under the bed where he unfortunately encountered a very smelly sock. "five six, I'd like you to try my muffin mix!" then Kitty phased through the door before Kurt could find another hiding place.
'just hold your breath Kurt, maybe she'll leave in a moment....' Kurt thought to himself as he held his breath. "oh he isn't here. I guess I'll have to, like, wait here..." 'VHAT!!!!! Don't do that! Bad idea, leave just leave!' Kurt was turning purple under his fur as he was holding his breath. He heard Kitty sit on the bed singing "I've got some Kitty Muffins! Oh yes, oh yes some Kitty Muffins all for Kurt that's right the INCREDIBLE Nightcrawler..."
'Vell she got one thing right... oh god... need... air....' Kurt was feeling dizzy but fought the need to breath and mentally shouted at Kitty to get out his room, then he realised she wasn't a telepath. 'Dam I have no choice!' Kurt then rolled from under the bed and took in a deep breath.
"AAAHH! I never thought air could be so... so...." He saw kitty smiling above him with a muffin in her hand. "so that's where you were" she said in a really creepy voice that would make the grim reaper cry. "nien! Please! No muffins! I beg you have mercy!" Kitty gave out an insane laugh right before Kurt teleported out her sight. "oh, so its, like, a game of tag then is it?" Kitty said with the evil grin coming on to her face as she phased through the floors with the tray of muffins.
Kurt was right in front of Scott's room. Kurt open the door to find Scott and Jean who were...um... busy. "uh... Scott?" "What!" "I... uh need ya help, you see Kitty has gone crazy and..." Kurt trailed off as he saw what Jean was doing to Scott, Kurt tilted his head to see more before Jean mentally threw Kurt out the room. "OWCH!" Kurt yelled. He then looked up to see Kitty "Well hello... we meet again..." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Kurt teleported away as Kitty started walking "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Kurt found himself in another room. It was very dark and Kurt felt the walls for a light switch. He soon found it and switched it on to see.... "what ya doing here elf!!!" Logan was wearing a pink gingham dress and hat and was caught hugging a teddy bear. "Kitty is after me to eat her muffins... why are you dressed like that?" Logan threw the bear behind him with an embarrassed look on his face. "its not what you think I swear..." then Sabertooth entered the room in the same outfit except in blue and with a yellow elephant plushie "I brought over Mrs Sunshine and cookies and... oh" Sabertooth saw Nightcrawler and then hid the plushie behind him "I see your busy, uh I'll come back later..." and as Sabertooth left Kurt gave Logan a confused yet petrified look "Explain zhat!!!" Logan gave out a small giggle and picked up the teddy bear "earlier me and Sabertooth were fighting but the great and powerful Shadowcat gave us the Muffins of love! And that's when I met Mrs Nesbet here...." "I KNEW IT! ZE MUFFINS ARE EVIL!!!" Kurt jumped back away from Logan making a cross with his fingers "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!!!"
"Oh Kurt..." Kitty phased through the door "why are you running? I thought you loved Muffins" "Nein! I don't like your Muffins!!!" Before Kurt could teleport again, Logan got hold of him. "I'm sorry elf, but the Muffin Queen ordered me to make sure you eat the muffin" "VHAT! Vhy?"
"because Nightcrawler... I AM I the muffin Queen!" Kitty Shouted out. Then everyone in the institute entered Wolverines room dressed up like Kitty, minus Scott and Jean (since we all know what they were doing). "And I want you to be one of us!!!!!!"
"One of us, one of us, One of us...." Everyone chanted
"NO! NEVER! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-OOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Kurt woke up in bed, then sat up in bed looking frantically around the room for muffins.
"Thew! Just a dream..." Kurt got change and did all those things you do when you get up and then teleported downs stairs to the dining room. "Boy, who you guys believe ze nightmare I've just had...." Kurt stood there in shock. He saw a basket of chocolate muffins on the table and Logan standing in a Pink Gingham dress like in his dream as everyone else was sitting around the table. "AAAAAAAAAH!!!! IT NEVER ENDS!!!" Nightcrawler started running out the room. Jean popped from behind Wolverine. "what's up with him?" "who knows an' who cares... are you done yet?" "almost" Jean said as she finished sowing the dress. "thanks for helping me make this dress Logan" Evan started giggling to himself.
"whatcha laughing at porcupine?" "oh nothing, nothing at all... I just think you make a very good Dummy" Evan then burst out laughing as Wolverine got his claws out. Wolverine then chased Evan out the room, while professor X was wheeling after them.
"Logan! REMBER! We can't harm the students til they're in the Danger room!" Yelled Professor X as the rest of the people in the room were looking nervous. "I think this is just gonna be one of those days..." Rogue said only the hear Kurt scream and everybody talking about which flight to take to get out of the country to get away from the institute.
Okie dokie people its over.
Dolly: if anyone reviews... which I highly doubt... I'll eat my hat!
But you ain't got a hat.
Dolly: ah yes, you see.... I can't louse!
--? Okay... whatever
ya'll know the drill.