Cover Story: Witch Weekly's Which Wizard—Part Three: The Gryffindor Five
By Amora Calumna (15 November, 1998)
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Hey girls! This is the article you've all been waiting for! We've been going through the eligible bachelors in Honeydukes' newly released Chocolate Frog Cards. We've looked at the Hufflepuff boys of the Class of '98 in Dumbledore's Army, and last week we looked at the Ravenclaw boys. This week, though, we have some of the most eligible bachelors in the Wizarding World. Honeydukes is calling them the Gryffindor Five. These are five young men who roomed together, studied together, fought together, and are currently breaking records in Auror Training together. For every girl out there who wants her knight in shining armor, Gryffindor boys are known for their bravery and chivalry. And all of these young men have proved time and time again that they are true Gryffindors. So, without further ado, The Gryffindor Five:
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Dean Thomas:
Hotness rating: 8/10
Tall, dark, and handsome, Dean Thomas is one of the few Muggleborn wizards to survive the War. He's a decent Chaser, but prefers Muggle football, supporting the West Ham team. Among his other skills are drawing and, like all of the members of Dumbledore's Army, dueling. He's easygoing, friendly, and supportive, yet passionate about what he believes in. Rumor has it that he even spent some time with Harry, Ron, and Hermione while they were hunting for ways to kill You-Know-Who last year. Dean is for those girls who want a steady, supportive boyfriend.
Availability: Dean is currently dating Luna Lovegood, who is well known for her eccentric beliefs. It's likely that Dean's down-to-earth personality will soon cause conflict between him and Luna, and then he's all yours, girls!
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Seamus Finnigan:
Hotness rating: 9/10
Kiss Seamus. He's Irish! He's cute and mischievous. He's fiery, passionate, and loves Quidditch, with Chaser as his favored position. He has an attitude and refuses to step away from a fight. But he has a calmer side, too: He's curious, and has no problem admitting when he's wrong. If you want someone who is a bit of a bad boy, but sweet on the inside, Seamus is for you.
Availability: Rumour has it that Seamus was seeing Lavender Brown during his final year at Hogwarts, but Lavender Brown is currently in St. Mungo's with scars from a werewolf attack all over her body. Our suspicion is that Seamus will quickly lose interest in her, as he seems to be someone who needs an exciting girl in his life, not an ugly girl who has been in St. Mungo's for half a year. So go get him, girls!
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Ron Weasley:
Hotness rating: 8/10
The tall redhead Ron Weasley is one of the best-known figures of the War. He is impressively brave, going on the run with Harry Potter himself last year, even though he is a Pure-blood. He has been at Harry Potter's side since they met on the Hogwarts Express over seven years ago, and as such, has seen his share of danger, including multiple battles against Death Eaters. Despite this, or maybe because of it, Ron has a great sense of humor. He loves Quidditch, and was an impressive Keeper on the Gryffindor Hogwarts Team, being the inspiration for the song "Weasley is Our King!". For those of you who want Ron to be your king, you'd better know how to cook, because Ron loves his food!
Availability: Officially, Ron is with Hermione Granger. But as Hermione Granger has had affairs with many famous wizards (including Viktor Krum and Harry Potter himself), we at Witch Weekly hope that Ron will find true love with someone more worthy of his affection.
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Neville Longbottom:
Hotness rating: 7/10
Neville Longbottom has become famous for slicing off the head of You-Know-Who's huge pet snake, as well as for fighting Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries two and a half years ago. He loves Herbology, and his friends describe him as calm and caring—until he has a cause to fight for. Once he has incentive to fight, he is every inch the hero that he has become known as. He was one of the leaders of Dumbledore's Army during his Seventh Year, planning many schemes to loosen the Death Eaters' hold over Hogwarts. Those of our readers who want a brave yet caring family man, Neville is for you!
Availability: He's available!
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Harry Potter:
Hotness rating: 9/10
Harry Potter barely needs any explanation. He faced You-Know-Who nine times before his 18th birthday, surviving each time, and is responsible for both of You-Know-Who's defeats. He is known as The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, The Master of Death, and the Saviour of the Wizarding World, for reasons that everybody knows. He is on a first-name basis with the Minister of Magic, the Headmistress of Hogwarts, and Death himself. And he's good looking. Thin and dark-haired, with beautifully soulful green eyes, Harry is the dream boy for many girls (and full-grown women). If you want the most powerful wizard in the world for a boyfriend, Harry is your man.
Availability: Harry is currently dating Ginny Weasley according to their friends and family, but there are rumours that Harry and Hermione Granger are together as well. If you want to go for Harry, be careful: if it's true that he is dating a Weasley, remember what happened to the last witch who threatened Ginny (see Lestrange, Bellatrix).