The Ties that Bind, a harry potter fanfic

"Walk faster, Reg."

"But… but I don't want to leave."

"You want to stay? That party was horrible."

The five cousins continued their trek up a hill, while the Christmas music, which played in the distance, gradually grew softer.

"Sirius, dance with me," Narcissa commanded.

"Do I have to?" Sirius said, even though the ten-year old was already putting his hands up in a resigned manner.

"Yes," Narcissa said. "How about the waltz?"

"Fine."

And the two set off, with Narcissa hunched over slightly to reach the small boy's hands.

"Reg… will you dance with me?" Andromeda asked, crouching down to be eye to eye with the small boy.

"I'll dance with you back at the party," Regulus said, with a slight whimper in his voice.

"Honestly, Reg. Bella was right, that party was horrible," Narcissa said.

"Of course I was right, when am I not right?" Bella said, flopping down onto the grass.

"When you were convinced RodolphusLestrange was a vampire," Andromeda said with a slight smile.

"Hey! Even you agreed he had all the signs," Bella said, indignantly.

"I was only ten, it doesn't count."

"Well, I was only eleven."

"Why couldn't I stay?" Regulus cried, with the evident manner of a boy who had lost track of the conversation and wanted it back within his realms.

"Really, Reg. I don't know why you're so upset. You were with Avery, he's a prat," Sirius said, rolling his eyes at the young boy's foolishness.

All three girls' heads snapped towards Sirius.

"Since when did you start saying words like prat?" Bellatrix's voice was suspicious, though one could still hear amusement underneath.

"I don't know… it's not a big deal," Sirius said. "I'm done dancing, Cissy."

"Fine." Narcissa flopped down next to Bella.

Andromeda and Sirius joined them on the ground.

"Who has a party outside in the middle of the winter?" Andromeda said, shivering. Narcissa nodded in agreement.

"Why did we leave?" Regulus asked, not to be deterred.

Narcissa said, "Because Bella was growing tired of Rodolphus's advances."

"How could one not grow tired of that wretched boy? He always wants to dance with me, even though I tell him time and time again that I don't dance."

"So why couldn't I stay?"

No one answered Regulus this time; the snow that had begun to fall distracted them.

"Bella. Bella." Regulus tried to regain her attention. "Why couldn't I stay?"

"Because Reg," Bellatrix turned over to look at him in the manner of someone who was clearly losing patience, "We're Blacks."

"What does that mean?" The eight-year old clearly considered this to be a bad answer.

"It means," Andromeda said, in a much gentler manner, "That we stick together. Always. Blacks always stick together."

Regulus nodded, finally satisfied with this answer, and joined his cousins in the snow.

"You're a Black, right?"

"Yes," Sirius said, squinting at James, wondering where this was going.

"Well, that starts with a B. It'll be your turn soon," James said.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess," Sirius shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, despite his rapidly beating heart at the prospect of his sorting.

Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff.

He could take not being in Slytherin. In fact, he even welcomed it. He was never one for following the crowd and hearing it from James, Gryffindor sounded pretty cool.

"Black, Sirius," McGonagall read.

"There you go," James whispered, giving him a small push forward.

Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff.

He looked over at the Slytherin table. There they were. All three of them, sitting next to each other, watching him stumble his way to the hat. Andromeda and Narcissa gave him small smiles and Bellatrix stuck out her tongue.

Sirius rolled his eyes and found the courage to keep walking forward.

He finally reached the seat and the raggedy hat was dropped on his head.

Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff.

"Not Hufflepuff? Hmm," the Hat whispered in his ear. "Odd… normally Blacks are just begging to be put in Slytherin."

I don't care, as long as it's not Hufflepuff, Sirius silently begged.

"Well, you're in luck. You don't look like a Hufflepuff to me." Sirius let out a sigh of relief.

"You are smart enough for Ravenclaw, but you lack a certain… drive."

Sirius didn't have enough time to figure out whether to be insulted or not, because the Hat was talking again.

"You are a Black, so Slytherin is always a likely option, and you do have the cunning for it, but…"

But what? Sirius was growing impatient by the Hat's rambling.

"You have something different than your relatives. Yes… I think you would do better in GRYFFINDOR!" The Hat screamed its last word.

The hall went silent. Dead silent. Not a student or professor uttered a word as Sirius slipped off the hat and walked to the Gryffindor table.

And then coming from the line of the unsorted students, there came a sound. Sirius peered over and saw a beaming James clapping for him. Slowly and hesitantly the rest of Gryffindor house joined.

Right as Sirius was about to reach the table, there came a screeching noise from the Slytherin table.

"WHAT?!" Bellatrix was standing up, shouting as Andromeda and Narcissa tried to pull her down.

"THERE MUST BE A MISTAKE! THAT BLOODY HAT IS WRONG! HE'S A BLACK, FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

Bellatrix continued her rant, as her sisters looked like they wanted to sink into the floor.

"Miss Black," McGonagall's voice cut across the hall. "You are making a scene. Sit down."

Bellatrix opened her mouth to protest, but McGonagall interrupted, "Now."

Bellatrix reluctantly sat down, her eyes still blazing. Sirius sat at his new table and wondered how many people there were until "Potter."

"We'll just have to tell him."

"Tell him? How?" Peter asked.

"Just walk right up and say- 'Remus, we know you're a werewolf and we don't care,'" James said.

"Yeah… that'll go well," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, do you have any better ideas?" James said, glaring at Sirius.

"No." Sirius sighed, "But you have to do the talking."

"Fine."

The three boys sat down on their various beds, barely visible through all the clutter in the room.

"The library closed five minutes ago, so he'll be here soon," Peter said, breaking the silence.

Right then, the door to the dormitory opened and in walked a fourth boy, who seemed to be trying to walk and read at the same time.

James took a deep breath. "Remus."

"Yes?" He responded without looking up.

"We have to talk to you," Sirius said.

"Um, okay?" Remus finally looked up and did a double take. "Whoa, all of you are here."

"Yes, because what we say here is very, very important," Peter said. Sirius personally thought it would be better if they didn't act like they were reading a death notice.

"So, come sit down, old chap," Sirius said, trying (and failing) to lighten the mood.

"Um… okay," Remus sat down on the nearest bed. "What is it?"

Sirius elbowed James to start. James glared at him and took a deep breath.

"Remus, we know you're a werewolf and we don't care."

"You actually said it like that! If I had known you were going to do that, I would have done it!" Sirius cried in outrage.

"That's how I rehearsed it! What did you think I was going to say?" James said.

"I dunno, maybe lead into it a little more. The poor boy has probably gone into shock."

"That was pretty blunt, James," Peter said.

"Guys…"

"When you take off a bandage, you're just supposed to rip it off," James said.

"Guys…"

"Well, we're not talking about bandages. We're talking about human beings!" Sirius shot back.

"Guys…"

"WHAT, REMUS?" All three boys turned their heads to glare at the boy, who had been trying to get their attention.

"Do you really know I'm a werewolf?" Remus whispered.

"Didn't we go over that like ten minutes ago? Try to keep up," Sirius said.

"But… but you don't care?"

"Of course I care. I worry when my friends have slow minds and can't follow conversations."

"Shut up, Sirius. I meant about me being a werewolf," Remus said.

"Well, we were a little shocked when we first found out, but then we realized it didn't really matter to us," James explained.

"Yeah, then it was mostly funny to see you make up those pitiful excuses," Sirius laughed.

"Shut up, Sirius!" Peter said.

"Just trying to lighten the mood," Sirius muttered.

"You guys… you can't tell anyone," Remus said, looking nervous.

"Do we look like idiots? We know that," James said.

"Okay…" Remus said, fidgeting.

"You know, this is super cool," James said, looking around the room.

"What is?" Peter asked.

"How we're all keeping a secret for Remus. It's like we're… like we're…" James searched for the right word, "Brothers! Yeah, like we're brothers."

"I already have a brother," Sirius reminded him.

"Well, now you have three more!" James clearly thought this was a great idea. "We should have a name!"

"A name?" Remus repeated.

"Merlin, Sirius was right. You are slow," James said.

"Whatever." Remus went back to reading his book.

"How about the Marauders?" Peter suggested.

"The what?" James said.

"Are you high, Pete?" Sirius asked, looking at him suspiciously.

"No!" A pink blush tinged Peter's face, "Last week, McGonagall said Sirius and James were like marauders, and I thought it was a cool word, so it might be a cool name…" Peter trailed off.

"Well, I like it," Remus said from his bed.

"The Marauders," James tested out.

"It's cool with me," Sirius flopped down on his bed.

"And me. Well done, Pete," James said. "From now on, we'll be the Marauders- A Band of Brothers."

"I already-"

"We know you have a brother, Sirius. Stop ruining the moment," James said.

"Can I sit here?"

Andromeda looked up from her first Ancient Runes essay of the school year to find a tall blonde boy looking at her.

"Pardon?"

"Can I sit here? All the other seats in the library are taken," The boy gave her a careless smile.

"Well, I…" Even though Bellatrix would have said no, Andromeda couldn't really see the harm, even though she was pretty sure he wasn't pure. "That's fine."

"No need to sound so excited." The boy shot her another smile as he pulled out a chair. Andromeda had to force her lips not to return it.

"I'm Ted Tonks." Merlin, did he want to talk to her? She had hoped it would be a silent session.

"Andromeda Black." She didn't let her eyes stray from her paper.

"I know."

This time Andromeda didn't even try to stop her eyes from looking up at him in confusion.

"We've had classes together since first year."

"Oh." Now that Andromeda looked at him, she was pretty sure he sat near her in Charms.

"You've never talked to me though. Probably because I'm a muggleborn." He gave her another smile.

Now that Andromeda knew, she wished she didn't. It would have been so much easier to think of him as the kid with a cute smile, then the mudblood with the ugliest smile she had ever seen in her life.

Oh, whom was she kidding? No matter his blood status, his smile was adorable.

Deciding it was the safest thing to do, Andromeda went back to writing her essay.

Five minutes passed in uncomfortable silence, until Ted decided to break it.

"Ahem."

Andromeda lost her mind. "What?! Can't you see that I don't want to talk to you? I don't know you, so leave me alone!"

Still with a smile, Ted said, "I just wanted to know if you could lend me a quill?"

"Oh. Right. Sure."

To leave a note or not?

They didn't deserve a note. Or at least her parents certainly didn't. She didn't know about Cissy.

Maybe she should just leave a note under Cissy's door, explaining that Andromeda still loved her, but she couldn't put up with the world of the Blacks anymore.

No, Narcissa would show it to her parents, and Andromeda didn't want that.

And what about Bellatrix? She and Rodolphus were staying in the house, because Easter was tomorrow. Andromeda could easily just leave a note under her door.

But did Bellatrix deserve a note, too? After all, it was her and their fathers' discussion of their pleasure in the increasing attacks on muggleborns that had caused Andromeda to snap. Yes, Bellatrix certainly believed wholeheartedly in pureblood supremacy.

For a brief moment, Andromeda wished she did too. How much easier her life would be, if Ted had never sat next to her that September day. He would never showed her that muggleborns weren't monsters, and she could have just believed the lies her family fed her.

Yes, that would certainly have made her life right now easier. But there was one glaring flaw in her daydream- no Ted.

And life without Ted, no matter how easy it was, was not a life worth living, in Andromeda's opinion.

Even if it meant a life without her sisters.

And with that thought, Andromeda grabbed a quill and scribbled down:

I just couldn't take it anymore

-A

There. That was perfect. They knew she left by her own choice, but they knew nothing else. She wondered if her note was worthy of getting blasted of the tapestry.

No, but if Narcissa ever told them who she was dating, that certainly would.

With one last glance at her house, Andromeda grabbed her bags, and Apparated to the address Ted had given her, the day before they left for break.

Just in case, he had said when he had pressed it into her hand.

With a quiet pop, Andromeda arrived in a Muggle neighborhood. All the houses were lined up in organized rows and all the yards were a perfect green.

It looked like… like… home.

Wow. Corny, Andromeda, she thought to herself.

215. 215 was his house number. 215 was right in front of her. With a shaking hand, she unlatched the gate and began to walk up to his house.

What if he doesn't want to see me? What if this is moving too fast for him? What if his parents hate me? Stop, Andromeda. Ted loves you.

Yes, he loves her. And with that thought, Andromeda raised her hand, and rang the doorbell.

She wanted this.

Bellatrix didn't know if she had ever wanted something as much as she wanted this.

She wanted a black tattoo on her arm. She wanted to be someone who would change the world. She wanted to be the one who would finally make England pure.

And so when the Dark Lord raised his wand at her forearm, all Bellatrix felt was excitement.

And when harsh, dark lines burned her skin, Bellatrix didn't notice the pain.

And when the mark burned for the first time, thrill filled her heart at the thought of helping her master.

And when she killed her first victim, Bellatrix could feel the power coursing beneath her skin.

Yes, Bellatrix wanted this.

There he was.

She could see him through the crack between the doors. He was standing at the altar, next to his best man, Nott. He looked as handsome as the day she first met him, with his blonde hair combed over.

She smoothed her dress, trying to calm her shaking hands. "You look beautiful, Cissy," Bellatrix whispered.

Narcissa turned her head to look at her sister, who was the matron of honor. "Thanks," she whispered back.

It shouldn't be Bella. They both knew it. They had known it right when Narcissa asked her. Bellatrix was never the type to be a matron of honor. No, that was a job for…

Don't think about her, Narcissa reminded herself for the thousandth time today.

Of course, she wouldn't come. You didn't go to hers. You didn't even invite her.

Narcissa knew all those things. She had been telling it to herself for the past month. But knowing those things didn't stop Narcissa from wanting another sister standing next to her.

"Are you ready, Narcissa?" Eleanor Zabini asked.

Was she ready? All she had to do was tell her bridesmaids to start walking, and then she could go and marry the love of her life.

He was the love of her life. Narcissa knew that without a doubt. Perhaps that was the only thing she knew without a doubt.

"Yes, I'm ready."

Her friends opened the doors and slipped into the church. Bellatrix gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, before she too left.

Narcissa was alone. Her deceased father was not here to walk her down. No one was here to move Narcissa from the spot where she stood, frozen.

Narcissa wished she didn't know why she was having second thoughts. But she did.

It was because… Andromeda.

Because Narcissa knew that by walking down that aisle, she would be forever sealing off one of her sisters.

You aren't leaving her. She left you.

Narcissa shifted her head to peer into the church. All heads were turned toward the door, waiting for the bride.

There was her mother, who was looking annoyed at the delay.

There was Bellatrix, who was looking concerned. She probably knew what Narcissa what was thinking.

There was Sirius, fidgeting in his seat next to Regulus.

There was Rabastan and Rodolphus Lestrange. There were the Parkinsons and the Averys. Crabbes. Goyles. There was everyone. There was her world.

There was Lucius. There he was.

Forget Andromeda.

Narcissa opened the doors to the church.

"Come back here, young man!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm not done speaking to you!"

"Like I care!"

"Do not speak to your mother like that!"

"Oh?" Sirius turned around, and walked back into the dining room where his parents and brother sat. "You don't want me to speak to her like that? Well, then maybe you shouldn't speak to me like that!"

"Like what?" his mother said. "I was speaking the truth. You are spending far too much time with mudbloods, dirty half-bloods, and bloodtraitors."

Sirius snapped. He knew there would be no going back. But he was also sure he didn't want to go back.

"Listen to me," Sirius whispered, his face inches away from his mother's. "You can insult me. Whatever. It's what you lot do. But what I can't take is you insulting my friends. My friends are twice the people you could ever hope of being. You are far more disgusting and "dirty" than any of them."

After a long pause, Walpurga Black whispered back, "Where did I go wrong?"

Sirius pulled his face back. "Are you freaking kidding me? That's what you say?!"

"What else can I say?" she shouted at him.

"I'm leaving," Sirius turned on his heel, and walked out of the room.

"That's what you always say," his father called after him.

This time I mean it, Sirius thought furiously. There was no way he was staying, not in this hellhole.

He stormed up to his room, and started throwing random things in a suitcase. He could barely think, he was so angry. Grabbing his half-packed bag, Sirius threw open his door and marched down the stairs.

When he got to the bottom of the stairs, Sirius found his brother waiting for him.

"Where are you going?" Regulus asked, looking unusually concerned.

"Anywhere but here," Sirius said, moving to the door.

"She'll blast you off the tapestry."

"Good." Sirius threw open the door and stepped out into the night, where it was pouring rain.

Don't look back. He doesn't care. He's not the little boy you knew. He believes them.

Despite his thoughts, Sirius couldn't help but pause, before closing the door.

Don't worry about him. He'll be fine. Worry about yourself.

That was certainly true. Sirius did need to worry about himself. He was currently standing in the pouring rain with no home, no money, and no family.

But that's not true. You do have family.

And he did have a family. Or at least he had three brothers.

Suddenly, Sirius knew where he was going.

"Are you ready, Regulus?"

Regulus looked into Lucius Malfoy's eyes. He could barely see him in the dim lighting of Hog's Head, but the blonde hair was unmistakable.

The moment seemed to stretch out infinitely, as the road that was his life divided into two paths.

Down one road were his family, his friends, and years of tradition. He was the good son, the loyal, proud boy who understood his heritage and embraced it. The choice should have been easy.

But…

Down the other road was Sirius.

Sirius. The elder one, the smarter one, the stronger one. Old enough to know better than to side against his family. Smart enough to know there would be retribution. Strong enough to leave anyway.

Regulus could remember years of toddling after Sirius, trying to keep up. And somehow, he still felt like that. Even though his brother was gone, he still couldn't keep up with the expectations of his family. Not just to be Sirius, but to be better than Sirius.

But he couldn't be Sirius. He was a coward. Not a hero.

He knew his path. Everyone did. Everyone except Sirius.

"You don't have to be like them, Reg." Sirius had caught up to him one day after Charms class. It was the first time they had talked in a year, ever since Sirius had run out on the family.

"You don't get a say in what I do. You're not family anymore." Regulus said these words more coldly then he thought possible.

"I know that," Sirius said, looking more serious than Regulus had ever seen him. "But you have a choice, Reg. You don't have to be a hero. Just don't join them."

It stings more than Sirius will ever know, those words. You don't have to be a hero.

You can't be.

"This is my choice."

Regulus swallows hard. The rest of the family buried Sirius when he left. Only now does Regulus mourn his brother, because he knows that this is it. After this, he will no longer have a brother.

"I'm ready."

Shadows. They were everywhere. Regulus could see them on the wall of the cave. A boy and an elf. That was his shadow. That was all he was. Just a dark silhouette on a wall.

The shadow was the only proof he had ever existed. That this wasn't just a long dream and he would wake up in someone else's life. Because that was what it felt like. Like his whole life had just been a long dream that he couldn't wait to end.

But no. It wasn't a dream. The shadow was there. He was here. Kreacher was here. The boat was here.

The island was close. He could see its shadow flickering along the walls. Yes, the island was real.

Regulus' mind strayed to Sirius. He wished that Sirius knew he was here. For a brief second, he was ten again, and all he wanted to do was impress his brother.

But Sirius would never be impressed. Sirius would never care. Regulus was just a shadow to Sirius. A memory from another life. Over time, the memory would fade away. The shadow would cease to exist.

Regulus looked at his shadow and kept rowing.

Andromeda couldn't keep a smile off her face.

She had smiled all of yesterday and when she woke up this morning the smile was still there.

She tried to force her lips down as she made pancakes for her husband and daughter. But she couldn't. She couldn't stop smiling.

To be fair, Ted was smiling too. Nymphadora, who didn't really understand, was smiling too.

"What else is in there?" She asked, Ted, who was reading the Daily Prophet.

"Well, I don't know if you heard, but You-Know-Who was killed," Ted said, beaming at her.

"Oh, really? No, I hadn't heard."

Ted and Andromeda laughed, but Dora looked confused.

"Yes, you did, Mum. You told me yesterday," she said, frowning.

"I know, sweetie." Andromeda patted her hand as she sat down next to her at the table.

Ted laughed at Dora's befuddled expression, as he turned the page.

His smile fell so quickly; Andromeda could have sworn it was never there to begin with.

"Ted! What's the matter?"

He didn't respond, his eyes flickering across the page.

"What is it? What's the matter?" She cried, panic coursing through her.

Slowly, he turned the newspaper to her.

TWELVE MUGGLES MURDERED BY SIRIUS BLACK

YOU- KNOW- WHO'S RIGHT-HAND MAN CAPTURED

Andromeda couldn't smile.