Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Twilight, yet...

And I want to play the guitar, But my guitar is out of tune, I am a vampire, I am looking in the CD, And the musicals don't play with me, Don't play with me...Vampire by the Antsy Pants

I stepped off the plane and shivered, I had expected the melancholy weather but I had no jacket that went with my rather spiffy outfit. My ensemble put me in the mood of pirates; a cream silk shirt tucked into a red and black striped skirt, completed by a black bandanna and pixie boots. I thought it was great but it drew me lots of attention from the people waiting for their flights. I ignored their disapproving glares, grabbed my cow print suitcase and started my quest for Charlie.

After standing round for a while pulling odd poses at tourists with cameras, no doubt their photos will come back to haunt me, I spotted Charlie near the back. He made a big show of staggering round with my suitcase, he should be glad I shipped over my other stuff last week. "Hey Dad, long time no see" I exclaimed as I enveloped him in one of my enthusiastic hugs. On the way to the cruiser he told me about all that had happened in sunny forks since I'd last been here. It wasn't a long conversation; the only thing remotely interesting was that some new kids had moved here from Alaska, I'm glad I won't be the only new person.

I dumped my stuff in the trunk of the cruiser, I swear I could fit two corpses in that thing, I may need to arrange them a little with a chainsaw first but it could work. The cruiser was a sucky car and I refused to be seen in it by anyone whose opinion I actually cared about, unfortunately the only person that fitted that description was my mother who was still in Phoenix, six feet under. Charlie could make it work if he drove it in an ironic way but as the middle aged chief of police, I don't think he had that in mind when he drove in it.

I got in the passenger seat and saw Charlie glance at my bare arms where my sleeves were rolled up. He looked away with a frown. He'd like the tattoo (a rather fetching pair of plastic vampire fangs) even less than the dyed hair and eyebrow piercing. Ever since I read Dracula I've been fascinated by vampires, they're my favourite myth. I love the way there's so many different versions. Darren Shan's who are just like super humans, but need blood to survive and are allergic to sunlight. Night World vampires who are allergic to wood and can control people's minds. No two stories are the same.

It was a misty Sunday morning and the roads were quiet, I guess most of the pious morons are in the town's small chapel worshiping their phoney baloney God. I'm not a big fan of religion, the last official service I had been to was Renee's funeral and that was awful, like burying my best friend. My beliefs ran more along the lines of "hallelujah, lock and load" than "and the lion shall lay down with the lamb."

Charlie was a slow driver, so I sunk back in my seat and put on one of my Linkin Park CDs, Charlie winced when the screaming started but I started to tap out the beat on my knee. He wasn't going to start a conversation any time soon so after consulting my conscience I started. "Father is there any beverages in this automobile?" I asked in my best English accent. Charlie looked around uncertainly "err, there might be some water in the side pocket" he gestured wildly with his arms. I started searching and along with decade of grime found a bottle of water and a packet of car sweets. Yummy, car sweets the best part is the white dusting of icing sugar on them but I quickly discerned I had already licked all the sugar off this pack, replaced them and started on the water. I drank it thirstily, it tasted a little brackish but I wasn't getting any stomach pains so I decided I was probably going to live to die another day. I managed to leave most of my signature bright red lipstick on the bottle; I really need to find a way to get it to stay on. Although it may be a good calling card "aha I see Miss Swan has graced us with her presence recently".

When we arrived home Charlie carried my suitcase up to my room for me, it hadn't changed much since I was last here. The same old rocking chair was by my computer desk and all the old band posters still adorned the walls. My knitting of questionable quality was still in the same drawer. He stood in the door "I hope you don't mind, but I didn't know where you wanted to put your stuff so I just left it in the crates" I saw the crates and smiled "thanks Ch-Dad". He left me to my copious amounts of unpacking to go and watch baseball or something. I unpacked my clothes quickly and filled the antique treasure chest that I had found in a charity shop and placed at the foot of my bed with shoes. It was almost time for me to start dinner by the time I had finished placing my CD collection on the shelves lining the walls; I had to leave some of my least favourites in one of the crates but I thought it would make an unusual bed side table. It was a miracle the shelves held them all, I didn't think they'd last long the rows and rows of CDs must weight a considerable amount.

I skipped downstairs whistling out of tune, I needed to cook something edible as the last time I had left Charlie alone in the kitchen he'd almost burned down the whole house. I cooked some plain spaghetti and made up some sauce. We ate in silence, and I left Charlie to wash up. I flew up the stairs and took my shower; I hoped Charlie couldn't hear my tone deaf singing. I turned on one of my old Queen CDs and stared at the stars through a gap in my polka dot curtains until I drifted off.

My dream was, once again, in black and white. It was a montage of shots from somebody's life; it looked like it was set almost a century ago, judging from their lacy attire. Somewhere in the background Bohemian Rhapsody was playing. As the persons life progressed the scenes flashes between one another faster and faster. The last image I remember seeing was someone writing in the floor in agony after being bitten by an angelic vampire. I awoke screaming. Jeez I really should have visited that physiatrist mom booked for me. I palmed her off with stories off how we were really resolving my issues with authority figures, when really I'd never met the poor dumb sucker.