Sorceress of Shadows: Merry Christmas, Blazeflower!
Link: Christmas was yesterday.
Shadow Link: Yeah, so? Your point?
Link: Oh, forget it.
Sorceress: I don't own Zelda. When I do, you'll know.
o0o
To Shadow Link…And Beyond!
"BA DA DA DAAA! YOU GOT THE BOW!"
Blue curled up and assumed the fetal position. "It's the voices again!" He whimpered.
The other three Links looked at Blue like he'd just grown horns.
"What voices? I don't hear any," Purple asked.
"I do! And do you not see the dialogue box?" Blue shrieked hysterically. "It writes down everything the voices say!"
"Guys, as the original Link, I say we all get up and go kill Shadow Link," Green commanded.
"Okay…but I still see the dialogue box hovering in front of me," Blue muttered as the four Links adjourned towards the door.
~Time skip, in which nothing of note happens~
The four Links, after battling a whole lot of Keese, faced Shadow Link defiantly.
"You're going down, Shadow Link." Green, as the only fully sane Link, was in charge of figuring out what to say to all the bad guys they encountered.
"Oh, am I?" Shadow Link sneered before depositing a bomb at red's feet. Red kicked it; the bomb exploded, leaving Red giggling and Shadow Link dizzy. Green (still the only sane one) took the opportunity to rapidly slash at his evil counterpart.
Well, who would have thought that Shadow Link had magic fashion abilities? Not the four Links! So when Shadow Link decided to change his tunic color to purple (black is going out of style) Blue had a nervous breakdown, Red laughed maniacally, Green actually responded the right way, and Purple…
"IDENTITY THEFT!" Purple screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Aah! The remote isn't working!" Red frantically pushed the buttons on the mysteriously appearing mind controller. "Watching Purple run around in circles is boring!"
With no real source of entertainment, the two remaining Links turned towards the only thing left that could keep the keep the mind slightly occupied: watching Blue's nervous breakdown.
At first Blue sat against a wall, rhythmically rocking back and forth while sucking his thumb, eyes wide. But suddenly-and this jolted even Shadow Link and Purple-Blue gave out an earsplitting screech.
"AUGH! IT'S A GHOST! AND THE DIALOGUE BOX IS BACK! I'M GONNA DIE!" Green, as the rest of the Links were completely paralyzed, was left to comfort Blue.
"Umm…okay, what's it saying? And…hey, did you wet your tunic?" Green asked. Blue nodded.
"The ghost s-says that the only w-way we can defeat Shadow Link is by having Purple kill him." Blue sniffled, then burst into melodramatic tears on Green's shoulder. Said Green gave Blue an awkward pat.
~More time skipping~
"You do not have enough force gems to continue. Would you like to turn back time to collect more?"
"THE VOICES-"
"Shut up, Blue," Red muttered. "Yeah, we'll turn back time."
Later, the four Links were back at the start of the cave.
"Aha! My identity thief!" Purple pointed an accusing finger at Shadow Link, who laughed, and, using a power not yet known to humanity, jumped nimbly aside. Purple chased after him futilely.
To make a long story short, the Cave Of No Return held four psychologically challenged prisoners for a long, nervous breakdown filled time.
o0o
Sorceress: You must review, or Shadow Link gets one of two torture methods. Link, if you would draw one out of the hat?
Shadow Link: Where'd you get the hat?
Link: Never mind that. So your punishment, if no one reviews, is…a twelve hour long date with Sorceress!
Shadow Link: NOOOOO!
Sorceress: Will you please tell us the other punishment, Link?
Link: Slavery for three years.
Shadow Link: Can I exchange punishments?
Sorceress: No.
Link: You better hope for reviews, boy.
Shadow Link: Oh my Farore…PLEASE REVIEW! I WANT TO LIVE!