''Good morning, sleepyhead'' I heard a voice that I knew and opened my eyes slowly. The room was way lighter than it was when I went to bed, but it couldn't have been long ago. I remember not being able to sleep, with thoughts running through my head and tears running down both my cheeks, I must have cried myself to sleep, again. ''Adam, you up yet?'' that voice came around again and this time I dared to look at the person, even though it was about 100% sure that I looked like a zombie. I looked up and saw some dark brown eyes and black and blond hair. ''Yeah.. I am, Tommy'' I said while putting my hands to my eyes and grabbing them softly. I took my hands back to the bed, causing myself to sit up without really trying. I looked around, it was really light outside. How long did I sleep? Tommy looked at me and sat down on the bed, putting his one hand on my covered leg. ''Are you feeling any better?'' he asked with a very nervous voice. He knew about my break up, as the only person. ''Mh..'' I whispered. 'No, I'm not okay, truth be told. My boyfriend dumped me 2 weeks ago, after 2 years, of course I'm not okay, idiot' I thought to myself. I took a quick look at the clock 10.07AM, okay so I didn't sleep as long as I was scared of. On one side of the bed, I found all my clothes laying, so I threw myself over there, causing me to almost explode myself to my best friend, but he seemed to just laugh a little bit. ''Breakfast's ready, if you're hungry'' he said and looked at me. Should I lie to him and go with him to eat and then lie about being too tired but really running to the toilet to throw everything up? No, I shouldn't, he'd figure that out. ''I'm not.. h-hungry'' I looked at him and knew that he could see the sadness in my eyes, because he moved further up to me, before throwing himself over the bed to pick up my shirt and pants, which I had let slip out off my hand in tiredness. He handed me over my clothes so that I could take it on, I didn't. I took the clothes in my hand, but put it down on my side of the bed, before clapping the other side of the bed, looking at Tommy in a way so he knew, that I wanted him to come up there. ''Do I really have to go down?'' I asked him quietly. He looked at me and turned his head from one side to the other, ''but I really think you're gonna have to get out off this room sometime Adam'' he said in a serious tone. Fine, I'll get out, if it means we'll be heading to a club or something like that. I didn't really feel like going to some private party, because the odds that Brad's gonna be there, are quiet big (Brad's my ex). Riiiiiiing riiiiiiing. Something was ringing, I saw Tommy looking at his phone, but putting it back in his pocket, which has to mean that it's mine, great! Just what I need, not. I reached down to grab my phone in my pants pocket and looked at it. It said 'Cassidy', which leads me right back to great.. Cassidy's Brads best friend and the guy that he cheated on me with, but I couldn't be mad at Cassidy, he's one of my best friends too. ''Hey Cass'' I said quickly and he responded with a quiet hey. I knew he was still sorry about what he did, but he just didn't understand that I'm not mad at him. At least not a lot. ''What's up?'' I asked him and looked at Tommy, moving my mouth in a way so it looked like I was saying Cassidy, he nodded, but looked with very worried eyes, right at me. Tommy was very mad at Cass. They'd been friends even before I knew any of them, so I understand that he's mad. ''I just .. wanted to hear, if you're up for a night out?'' Yes! Yes, Cassidy! ''Hm.. I don't really know, where?'' I didn't wanna sound too overwhelmed about it, not sure how that'd make me look in front of Tommy, so I decided to play innocent and shy. ''Hyde? I heard that they have a killer rave tonight, sure something you would find great'' danm, he knew me too well! An opportunity I can't turn down. ''Sure, pick me up at 8 and we'll leave, 'kay?'' did I just say that? Oh well, a night out is just what I need, then maybe I'll be able to forget and get some sleep tonight or tomorrow at least. Cassidy hung up after saying bye, leaving me with something that was supposed to look like a smile on my face. ''So?'' Tommy asked and I explained everything to him and asking if he wanted to go, but he said he had stuff to take care of, whatever that means. I put on my clothes and some fingerless leather gloves I found on the floor, and we both went downstairs, if we were gonna eat I wasn't so sure of, Tommy didn't look too hungry either, but downstairs we had to go.
Some noise come from downstairs, sounded like it was in the kitchen. A male and female voice, not very clear, it was impossible to tell who it was. Tommy laid his hand on my shoulder and we went down the stairs to see what was going on in the kitchen, but got caught up, when the TV was changing channels without really looking like someone did so. ''Hello?'' Tommy yelled in the way of the living room and a recognizable face showed. It was Neil, my brother. What the hell was he doing here? I nodded to Tommy in direction of the living room, so that I could figure out what he hell he was doing here. ''What the fuck Neil?'' I said in a confused tone, he just looked at me quick, with eyes that said I don't care and had his attention back on the screen. I decided to go to the kitchen, leaving Tommy with my brother, to watch some stupid football game. As I walked slowly to the kitchen, the voices became more clear and my heart began to raise, the adrenalin kicked in real hard. It was recognizable voices. I walked slowly towards the kitchen opening, slowing my walking with every step I took. I could hear that my breath deepened and got really loud, without being sure if there was a reason. When I came to the opening, I could see that the female voice belonged to Danielle, who was yelling very loudly. No doubt she was mad. I couldn't hear anything from the male being in the room, so I took another step and made myself visible. ''Adam!'' Danielle yelled loudly, with a surprised tone. She ran over and threw herself in my arms. ''Don't go in there'' she whispered so close to my ear, that I could hear and feel her breath. I didn't obey and ended the hug while walking further into the kitchen and my heart stopped beating for a while. The male voice had belonged to Brad. His eyes looked at me with sorrow and disappointment, a way I'd only seen him look at me once. The time I caught him cheating on me. I stood still for a while and just stared at him, before it really came to my head what happened. Brad was standing only a few inches in front of me, in my house. That fucker was in my house. I wanted to just jump at him and start yelling and kicking him, instead I opened my mouth as if I wanted to say something, but couldn't. I could feel the tears run down my cheeks as I turned around. The pain of seeing him again was way too big and it was too early. I began running faster and faster till I made it to the stairs, where Tommy was standing. Obviously he was on his his way to his room, most likely. I almost ran into him, before slowing down. I cried like a baby when I looked at him. ''Adam! Wait!'' he yelled, as I ran by him, up the stairs. I didn't even bother to look back to see if he followed me, I didn't care, I just wanted to be alone, die. Brad was here, even that thought made my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. How dare he! I fell running in the hallway upstairs, but that didn't matter to me, I got quick up and began running again. I ran past the door to my room, onto the next one. The bathroom. I knew what I had to do, just for a little while. I could hear Tommy yell behind me as I closed the door hard to the bathroom and locked it. I let myself fall down slowly up against the door and put my head to me knees. The tears wouldn't stop falling, it's like a waterfall. I could hear Tommy knock on the door, saying something with me not wanting him to kick open the door. Only problem is, he's not strong enough. I got back up on my feet, walking to the shrink, leaning against it and looking in the mirror. What a mess. I didn't even recognize the guy staring back at me. He's not what he used to be. He's a depressed 23 year old, who used to be happy all the time. I looked down and found a little box I had on the table. It looked like a regular makeup box, except that it was with a code lock. I opened it and found my old best friend from high school. My little, perfectly silver, sharp razor. I took it on one hand and decided not to take any paper with me, as I went back to were I was sitting before – up against the door. I let the razor touch my skin softly, before looking down on my already scared arm. The razor moved slowly against my bare skin, as I pushed it harder and harder. It wasn't even painful, it was a release. The pain of Brad was much worse than this, so I pushed a bit harder, causing myself to get dizzy. After making a few deep, red marks on my bare, snow white skin, the room started spinning. It all blacked out and I felt the hard, ice cold bathroom floor against my body