The Search
I do not own Bleach, nor do I own Szayel Aporro Granz. I probably don't even own this story idea.
Szayel Aporro Granz stumbled through his section of Los Noches. Every so often, he dropped to his knees and scrutinized the floor with his nimble fingers . . . Where is it? ... Where IS IT?! ... the Octava Espada asked this question in his mind over and over, knowing each time he asked he that would never be relieved with an answer . . . where . . . His lips were a desert. They were covered in deep cracks . . . where . . . and peeling dead flesh . . . Dammit, where the hell could it be? ... It had been missing for three days, No. No, Szayel thought, it was stolen three days ago.
Szayel remembered all so clearly, he was working in his lab, trying to devise a way for Hollows to remove their Hollow masks as a way to be more covert in the upcoming war, every so often, he would remove the item he quested for out of its drawer, apply it, and placed it back in its drawer for later use. Soon, after one of these cycles, he noticed a barren spot on his mouth that he had missed with the magnificent elixir, so he reached into the drawer and rummaged around to find it. To his horror, it was not in the drawer. It was nowhere to be found in the lab, either. Someone had stolen it.
Of course he completely lost his mind. He interrogated all of his Fraccion. They claimed they knew nothing, but they felt bad for their beloved master and tried to make him feel better. Szayel wanted nothing to do with them so he destroyed all of them and continued his quest.
He interrogated all of the Espada and their Fraccion, but to his utter despair they all had alibis. Lilynette and Starrk were on a scouting mission in the human world. Baraggan and all of his Fraccion were in a meeting with Lord Tosen. Harribel and her Fraccion were training with Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Nnoitra and all of their Fraccion. Zommari was meditating, and Aaroniero wouldn't have been able to enter Szayel's lab because there was a window . . . Damn . . . Then where is it?!
He finally went to Lord Aizen.
"Lord Aizen, please," he begged, "You know all, you must know where my beloved CHAPSTICK is."
"I'm sorry, Szayel, but I've not seen your chapstick anywhere. Can't you make more?" Lord Aizen asked.
"NO! I have to have that chapstick. No other chapstick I've created can soothe my lips, and I've lost the recipe! I've tried so many times to recreate it and nothing. I have to have it back." Szayel wept.
"Get ahold of yourself, Octava. Continue your search. Surely it has not disappeared," with that, Lord Aizen raised a hand to shoo the defeated Espada.
So there he was, scouring all over Los Noches. No one stole it, no one knew where it was.
He had interrogated every last Arrancar. Every single one who was intelligent enough to understand him. Surely no one, he knew, would be stupid enough to steal from his lab on a whim. No one except- Szayel gasped with a sudden answer, "Wonderweiss!" he shouted, "Wonder weiss is the thief!" With that knowledge in mind he made a mad dash to the culprit's quarters.
That little insignificant, minute, pustule of flesh!!! That idiotic, slurring, gurgling, wooing, buck-toothed excuse for an Arrancar!!! That same Arrancar who every day gets into my beautiful lab and eats EVERYTHING!!!
The Octava burst through the door to find that little rat sucking on his precious chapstick!
"You . . . Little . . . FREAK! GIVE THAT TO ME THIS INSTANT!" Szayel screamed with rage.
"Gawbah?" Wonderweiss sounded confused. He looked at the strange man in his room. His face was very red. He was breathing very hard. He was pointing to Wonderweiss' new toy. Wonderweiss soon remembered how scared he was of this man, and he ran and cowered in the corner.
"Give me back my chapstick!" Szayel demanded. Lord Tosen was soon at Wonderweiss' side.
"Calm down, Szayel, you're scaring him," he whispered softly. Szayel looked at Wonderweiss' shaking figure and suddenly felt very foolish. He had reduced his fellow Arrancar to a huddled mass. He sighed.
"Wonderweiss, I'm sorry," then, remembering who he was, Szayel quickly regained his complexion, "You can keep that stupid tube, but if I ever catch you in my lab again, you will become my lab rat, and I promise it will make it very unpleasant!" with that, the Octava brushed the hair from his face aside and strutted back to his lab to try again to recreate his precious chapstick.
While he was walking, he noticed Lord Tosen was at his side.
"Wonderweiss says, 'Thank you for the toy,'" he then turned and walked away.
Szayel felt a kind of warmth in his heart. He felt good that he had done at least one kindness to someone in his life. He walked back to his lab with a cheery smile. Little did he know, though, that even if he had taken his beloved chapstick back that Wonderweiss had already consumed every last bit of chapstick in the tube by the time he had got there.
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