Chapter 1

Candy! Cheese! and Weirdness!

Eragon walked out of his tent, holding a piece of cheese in his hand, "does anyone have some bread?" he called out.

"Why?" Brom asked, looking at him, "bread isn't good for you, you know?"

Eragon frowned, "yes it is. It's apart of the food groups," he retorted.

"No it isn't, it's in with the sweets and candy," Brom snapped.

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"Quit lying and where is that bread? I want to make myself a grilled cheese sandwhich," Eragon protested, "does anyone by chance have a stove?"

"I do," Nasauda said, pointing to her tent, "it's in there."

"Thanks," Eragon said before walking toward the tent. He tripped, over nothing, and the cheese in his hands went flying, "no!" he cried and lunged for his cheese but Saphira caught it and swallowed it in one gulp.

"That was mine!" Eragon cried.

Oh shut up, Saphira snapped, shooting a flame at Eragon and getting him right in the butt.

"Ow! That was mean!" Eragon shouted before running into his tent, crying.

Crybaby, Saphira muttered before spitting out another sheet of flame, ugh, that cheese tasted nasty.

"It was three days old," Murtagh pointed out, dipping a sugar stick into some more sugar and eating it.

"That's going to rot your teeth out," Brom pointed out.

"Oh shut up," Murtagh snapped, biting the sugar stick.

Brom rolled his eyes, "don't say I didn't warn you," he said before walking away.

"Hahahahaha, I'm here!" a loud shout sounded just as Eragon came out of his tent, his face red from crying. Standing just behind Murtagh was Galbatorix with Morzan and Durza at his side.

"Ahhhhhh!!!" Eragon shouted before diving back into his tent.

"Coward!" Murtagh shouted at his half brother before looking at Morzan, "what are you doing here? You're suppose to be dead."

Morzan laughed, "I don't die," he said and screamed, "hot!" as Saphira shoot a stream of flame at him. Morzan ran off toward a nearby lake and jumped in.

"You're such a coward, Morzan," Galbatorix muttered, sticking his hand into Murtagh's candy bag, pulling out a pixie stick, opening it and starting to eat the sugar.

"Hey! That's my candy!" Murtagh shouted, "brisingr!" Flames came out of the palm of his hand and crashed into Galbatorix, sending him flying.

"Ow! What was that for? I thought you worked for me," Galbatorix hissed, coming back and throwing away the burnt pixie stick.

"When it comes to my candy, I don't work for anyone," Murtagh retorted, "besides, you don't even pay me."

Durza laughed, "his pays me three gold coins every hour," he said.

"Three? That's mean, Galbatorix," Morzan, who had come back from the lake, hissed, "you only pay me two!"

"Hahahaha, it's probably because he thinks your too much of a wimp," Durza said.

"Wimp? Wimp?! I'll show you I'm not a wimp," Morzan shouted, drawing his sword and leaping at Durza. Murtagh watched the two dudes fight before turning around just as Eragon came back out of his tent, carrying a piece of mozzoralla cheese.

"What is with you and cheese?" Murtagh said in exasperation, grabbing a bag of skittles, opening it and dumping half of the bag into his mouth.

"What's with you and candy?" Eragon retorted. Murtagh couldn't reply because his mouth was stuffed with skittles.

"Hello peoples," a new voice sounded and Eragon glanced over his shoulder to find Arya making her way over to them, dancing across the ground.

"Arya!" Eragon said, gaping, drool coming out of his mouth.

"Stop drooling, you dillhole," Murtagh snapped, smacking Eragon upside the head.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot!"

Arya looked at the two brothers before eyeing the bag of candy at Murtagh's feet, "can I like have some candy?" she asked.

"Mine!" Murtagh shouted, grabbing the bag and running off.

"The lady wants some candy," Eragon retorted, drawing Brisingr and chasing after his half brother.

"She's not going to get any unless you buy it for her," Murtagh retorted.

"Nasuada doesn't pay me enough to buy Arya candy," Eragon snapped.

"At least Nasuada pays you, which is more than I can say about this dimwit over here," Murtagh muttered, gesturing toward Galbatorix who was watching Morzan and Durza still fight at who should get paid more.

Eragon rolled his eyes before leaping at Murtagh, his sword drawn.

"Hey look, there's a piece of cheese," Murtagh shouted, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Where?" Eragon asked, whirling around.

Murtagh rolled his eyes before running away, only to crash into Galbatorix. "Get out of the way, old man," he hissed.

"I'm not that old!" Galbatorix retorted.

"You're three hundred years old, so of course you're old," Murtagh retorted.

"I'm not three hundred!"

"You sure look like it."

"Weeeee!!!" a new voice sounded and Orik suddenly fell from the sky, landed on his feet beside Galbatorix.

"Ahhhhhh!!!!" Galbatorix shouted, leaping up and hitting his head on a tree branch.

"How did that tree get there?" Orik asked.

"I don't know," Murtagh replied, "and why were you falling out of the sky?"

"I wanted to fly and Blaze told me of a way to fly by jumping out of an airplane," Orik repiled.

"What's an airplane?" Galbatorix, who was rubbing his head, asked.

"And who's Blaze?" Morzan asked, looking up from where he had Durza pinned to the ground.

"I'm Blaze," a girl said, showing up beside Murtagh out of nowhere.

"Ahhhhh!!" Galbatorix, Murtagh and Orik shouted, leaping into the air and all but Murtagh hit their head on a branch.

"Who are you:?" Durza asked.

"I'm Blaze," the girl replied.

"Blaze?" Morzan said, confused.

"Yeah, the authoress of this strange story," Blaze replied.

"Strange story?" Durza asked.

"Stop asking so many questions or I'll throw you into a volcano," Blaze snapped.

"You can't do that," Durza retorted and was lifted from the ground before dropped into a volcano that had appeared out of nowhere, "hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I told you I could," Blaze replied.

"Hello Blaze," Murtagh said, looking at the authoress.

"HI!" Blaze shouted, "YOU'RE MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THE SERIES. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY MEETING YOU!"

Murtagh looked confused, "why are you screaming?" he asked.

"I NEED CANDY, IT CALMS ME DOWN," Blaze replied.

"My candy!" Murtagh hissed, drawing the bag of candy closer.

"Give me a piece of candy or I'll throw you into a volcano like I did Durza," Blaze threatened.

"Fine," Murtagh muttered, reaching into the bag of candy.

"Don't give her candy," a stranger said, appearing out of nowhere beside Galbatorix.

"Ahhhh!!!" Galbatorix shouted, leaping up and hitting his head on the branch again, "stupid branch!"

"Daddy, get out of here!" Blaze whined.

"Don't whine, it's not ladylike," the stranger snapped.

Blaze sighed, "I'm still getting candy," she muttered and grabbed the piece of candy Murtagh offered her before eating it swiftly.

"Nice going," the stranger muttered to Murtagh.

"What?" Murtagh asked, confused.

"You thought she was hyper before, candy just makes her even more hyper," the stranger replied.

"She said that it calmed her."

"She only said that so you would give her candy."

"Are you talking about me?" Blaze asked.

"Nope," the stranger replied before disappearing into thin air.

"God, if you people keep disappearing and reappearing like that, I'm going to have a heartattack," Galbatorix muttered.

Blaze looked at the king, "hey, did you know in the movie about Eragon, you were bald?" she asked.

"What?!" Galbatorix gasped, touching his hair, "OH MY GOD! I felt a bald spot! I need to fire my hair stylist or cut off his head."

"Umm, Galbatorix, you killed your hair stylist last week," Morzan said. Durza was swimming in the Leona Lake, trying to get rid of the hotness from his fall into the lava.

"Then who cut my hair this week?" Galbatorix asked.

Morzan whistled innocently and hurried away before Galbatorix could say anything. "You did it!" he shouted and ran after Morzan. Shruikan, his dragon who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, snorted, he would have caught him by now if he was smart enough to think about riding me, he thought, projecting his thought to everyone.

Murtagh laughed, "Galbatorix isn't smart, so what do you expect?" he said.

"Who wants to watch the Eragon movie with me?" Blaze asked.

"What's a movie?" Galbatorix, who had come back from not catching Morzan, asked.

"A picture that is moving," Blaze replied slowly.

"Alright, let's watch it," Galbatorix said as Morzan came back and Durza swam out of the lake.

"Alright, Nasuada go and get my dvd player from my tent," Blaze ordered.

"You appeared out of thin air and you already have a tent," Eragon said, holding a piece of cheese he had found.

"Yup," Blaze replied as Nasuada returned, "alright, I'll go cook the popcorn and you get settled."

"Alright," everyone agreed.

"Wait!" Galbatorix shouted as Blaze moved away.

"What?!" Blaze demanded, exasperated.

"What's popcorn?"

a/n I thought that was funny. But it's not for me to say, I gave a warning in the summary. If you do not like randomness or extreme randomness then don't bother to read and please don't review. I'm just doing this for the fun of it but I would like to know what you think just no flames.

-Blaze

Galbatorix: what's that? (points to author's note)

Blaze: I'm not going to explain it to you, see you peoples all next chapter