A Safe Place to Land

Set after "Derek's" first attack on Peyton, Canon 4.06

A\N: This is my first ever OTH fic and I am so nervous about it. Very Leyton but will still try to stay in canon. I would really love and adore any feedback, good, bad or whatever. This will have at least three parts, possibly more depending on where the story takes me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read.

~When evening shadows and stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love~

Part One: A Place to Breathe

He rolls over, eyes squinting through the darkness at the golden angel in front of him. "Hey."

"I'm sorry. I tried." She explains weakly, a key to his room clutched in her hand. Her voice is soft, the mewing of a forgotten kitten, and she is perched on the edge of his bed, a ball of nerves frayed from lack of sleep and too much worry.

Lucas scoots over and tries not to notice where his body touches hers, a hypersensitivity that is both wonderful and horrible, causing an unease knot in his stomach that is like pain only not. He asks about her brother, her real brother, and his heart breaks for her when he hears a tiny sob in her voice. She doesn't deserve this, not to be left, not again, not after all this. It chips away at his faith, his belief in karma, in justice, his insistence the right will always prevail- for what sort of god would allow so much pain shower down on one so good, so kind, so loving. It eats at him, a virus, blurring the line between right and wrong, what the point of being a good person if this is your reward?

"Can I stay?" And there it is, crossing her lips in a needy rush, ripping the band aid off quickly and exposing herself. She hates to be this, always the girl he has to save. She wants to be strong, to be powerful, to not let this break her but in the dark it is too hard to keep the memories at bay, to keep the shadows from crashing in. And in the end it doesn't matter, she knows Lucas will save her anyway.

He knows he should take her home, tell her she can beat this, that she is going to be okay, but he doesn't. He needs her there, needs to be able to inhale the strawberry scent of her shampoo and hear her breathing beside him. He can't close his eyes without seeing her room, hundreds of pictures of her smiling face and her lying cold on the bed. And he knows none of this would have happened if he hadn't left her alone, if he had made sure she was okay, if he had asked Skillz to take her home or a million other possibilities. Instead he left her, told her she was safe and the guilt weighs heavy on his heart. People Always Leave

She is his Peyton. And he knows she almost slipped through his fingers. He is constantly grasping at sand, praying to a cruel god to let this not be the day; she is always so close to the edge. And it falls to him to pull her back, to keep her safe, to make sure no harm happens to the girl that hold his heart in her green window eyes. He dreams about the day he won't. The night when he won't be fast enough, strong enough and she will lay cold on a slab. He wakes sodden with sweat, and tries not to think about the nightmares. In the dark, those are dangerous monsters to face, so he answers with the only word he can, "sure."

He moves and makes room for her, laying his head back on the pillow and he can count four inches from the tip of his nose to hers, four inches too far but she doesn't move closer and he doesn't push. He wants to keep her close, to wrap her in his arms and bury his head against her soft ringlets of blonde hair but pushing Peyton is the surest way to make her bolt so he just lies and watches over her.

She lifts her hand between them, and he mirrors her movement, finger intertwining. For a second he closes his eyes and exhales, being able to really breathe deep for the first time since the attack. It is always so messy between them, that's what he tells himself when ever he finds himself looking at her a little too long, missing her a little too much. It's messy but in moments like this it seems so simple. It's Lucas and Peyton, and its always going to be there, their connection. So he breathes deep and squeezes her hand and vows to never let her go.

TBC