Why Jane Is Not Allowed Near The Knives

by iFellOffMars

Continuation to Why Aro Volturi Is Not Allowed Near The Blender.

Disclaimer: Nom nom nom.

Note: I thought it would be a good idea to do a continuation of Why Aro Is Not Allowed Near The Blender...so, here it is.

Ten Reasons Why Jane Is Not Allowed Near The Knives

1. We do not play darts with the knives

2. "Let's see who can stab each other the most" is not a game, and you do not take the other players knife and use it against their will.

3. Bella is not a cake, and we do not cut her into tiny pieces and eat her.

4. Neither Aro nor Alec will be impressed by the big shiny knives you own...Caius might be.

5. It is not a good thing to have a knife in your hand while being drunk.

6. I don't care how many knives you can eat without dying, Jane. Stop showing off.

7. You do not throw a knife at the tv when you die during Super Mario Bros.

8. You cannot hunt down Stephenie Meyer and kill her because she gave you such a tiny role in the books series.

9. Playing fetch with the werewolves is forbidden, especially fetching with knives.

10. You absolutely cannot hold a knife up to Bella's throat and demand that Edward will join you guys.