When he looked at Finn, he saw a hero. Someone who wouldn't let others hurt him for being different ... gay. He called it love, because he didn't have another name for it. How do you describe that feeling in your chest that flutters with warmth because he's there, and not throwing you in the dumpster or throwing slushies in his , Finn was cute, and his voice was nice, but Kurt never loved him romantically. It's just that Finn was the only one to see him sometimes. He didn't see fancy clothes, or the strange kid who deserved to be locker checked. He saw Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, sometimes diva.
Yes, Finn wasn't perfect. He didn't truly try to include Kurt all the time, and he didn't understand the clothes or the hair. But it had been pretty good. He liked how he felt about himself around Finn. And his mom had been just as nice, if not nicer, and she was kinda like his mom, so he introduced them. "I honestly love you." Kurt told Finn when they were doing ballads. It hadn't registered properly in Finn's mind back then, but now all Finn saw was a pervert, a freak who liked to sneak a look at people's junk.
Kurt had ignored it. Yes, he's been jealous of how well Finn got along with his father, but in the way the oldest sibling resented the younger one for being the new "favorite." He'd done some dumb things, trying to regain his father's full attention. But now ... now Kurt Hummel was done with Finn Hudson. He'd backed off, tried to remodel his room to ensure both their comfort. "I had to skip school to finish it, but I think you're really going to like it." He started, describing where he'd gotten his inspiration from, trying to bring more 'masculine' themes, like he himself wasn't a male.
He tried not to cry when Finn asked him if he was insane. He'd tried hard to make this somewhere Finn would be comfortable too, since he obviously wasn't comfortable with the original way Kurt's room looked. "I'm a dude."
Perhaps those were the most hurtful words Finn had ever said. Like because Kurt was gay he wasn't a guy, wasn't truly male.
"I don't want to get dressed in front of you! Do you know that I put my underwear on in the shower before I come out when you're around? I just... I don't want to have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man."
No. These words were the most hurtful. Kurt had never peeked. Even when the guys in the locker room pulled stupid stuff, compared sizes, slapped each other's rears, he'd kept his eyes and hands to himself. Now he was practically being called a voyeur.
"Finn..." He said sadly. He wasn't going to yell. He was too hurt to be angry. No longer was this boy in front of him anything he wanted to be a part of. Finn Hudson was no longer his hero, the one kind guy who didn't care about his sexuality. It was clear Finn was perhaps even more homophobic than some of his other tormentors.
"No, Kurt! Don't play dumb. Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you?" Finn yelled angrily.
Kurt turned and tried to walk out the door. "You think I don't see the way you stare at me? How flirty you get. You think I don't know why you got so excited that we were going to be moving in together?"
Kurt stiffened, then turned from where he stood in the doorway.
"I understand that you're not like me, Finn. And it's true. Sometimes I do admire you in the halls. You're confident. Popular. Everyone watches you, because you demand attention. And maybe I do come off as flirty. I wouldn't know. You've never said anything. I've tried so hard to get you to like me. I thought, 'If Finn Hudson, that really nice guy who doesn't seem to care that I'm gay, likes me, maybe no one else will try to hurt me. You don't seem to realize it, but you weren't as bad as everyone else. We all like you. Every underdog dreams that one day Finn Hudson, the goofy nice guy would smile our direction, because if he doesn't, no one else will. And yeah ... I was excited you were moving in with us. You may not realize it, but I barely remember my mother. Your mom is great. She likes to shop, and doesn't mind that I'm 'weird.' You guys moving in means I actually get a family. I'm gonna go stay with Mercedes tonight. Maybe you should spend some time thinking alone."
With that, he grabbed the bag waiting by the door and walked out, leaving Finn to a moroccan room that looked more and more lonely as Kurt's footsteps faded away.