FIVE DAYS EARLIER
"Babe, please come to bed!" Liam yelled from the bedroom. I let out a deep sigh and turned in my chair at the kitchen table away from my paperwork towards the bedroom.
"Li, I can't! If I don't finish this by tonight, Mindy will shoot me," I yelled at him. I turned back to my work and tried to finish the horrible work Mindy, my boss, supplied. I looked to the clock above the kitchen sink and sighed. 2 A.M. A few seconds of writing passed, and I heart footsteps behind me and a soft, gentle hand was placed on my shoulder. "Liam," I started but was silenced when the all too familiar lips pressed themselves against my neck.
"Come to bed," he purred in my ear. "Please, Taylor? I promise I will make it worth your while," he purred again, this time with more urgency. I craned my neck to let him have more access. His hands pushed my hair to one side and kissed my neck more feverishly. I turned quickly in my chair and crashed our lips together. When I felt him smile into the kiss, I stood and pushed him to the bedroom. Oh well, I could finish it later.
My eyes fluttered open, and I was instantly attacked by a piercing cold breeze that surrounded my body like a blanket. It was then that I realized I was stark naked. And sore. What fun. I looked over in the bed and found Liam asleep, still had his hold on me; his arms wrapping around my upper body, and our legs now spooning. I tried my best not to wake him and slithered out of his grasp and tried to find some clothes. In the darkness, I couldn't find mine, so I walked over to his closet and pulled an oversized batman shirt on and some blue Calvin Klein boxers. I walked back into the dark room and pulled my messy brown hair into a messy bun. Without thinking, I caught a little and then heard shuffling in the bed. My gaze averted to Liam, who was now sitting up in bed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I said quietly walking back to the bed. After I crawled back in bed with him, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his bare chest. Instantly I was warm again.
"Its alright. I'm glad you did," he sighed. His breath running down my face and onto my arms. My hands rested against his chest and drew small circles with my fingers.
After One Direction became One Direction, eight years in fact, I finally met Liam. I was a stylist back then, moving around from band to band, that controlled everything they wore. Sometimes I got lucky and stayed with that band or group for a month before they let me go and 'Widen my horizons' or so they put it. Their management called me when they found out I worked with Ed Sheeran.
When I first met them, my mind told me to not get too attached because they would probably let me go after a month or less and then I would be on my way. However, my heart was telling me not to fall for them. More specifically, Liam. He was gorgeous. He still is. And he was so sweet. We hit it off with a bang automatically. His smile won me over first.
"Ello, Liam," he said extending a hand. I graciously took it and shook it.
"Taylor, nice to meet you," I replied with a grin. He smiled a grin of his own and we continued about an hour long conversation about the most random things. The other boys and I got off great as well. Our conversations consisted mainly of mindless banter back and forth, but that didn't bother me. I was witty and cunning, and they were obviously shocked by some of the things I said. Liam just laughed at me.
When the one month mark came around, I didn't get a call, text, email or anything else noting I was being let go. I immediately called Liam to tell him the news and he ended up taking me out to dinner. I had told him about the job situation a few weeks before and he was always telling me how he wasn't going to let me go. I knew then and there I was starting to fall for him.
Liam and I started to get more intimate after the one month mark. We went from talking and texting and hanging out a lot, to spending every minute of the day with each other when they weren't doing a concert. I went with him to interviews, signings, meet and greets, and one time a promo from when they were on SNL. I had to go anyway for wardrobe. After two more months, people started asking questions. Liam would always look to me for help when they questions came, but what was a girl like myself going to tell the world to make them happy?
After passing the remarkable six month mark with the boys, and four months after Liam and I finally declared our feelings for each other- with were very strong let me tell you- we decided to come out to the public and announce us as a couple. Liam was at an interview, which I was at, with Alan Carr when he finally said it. Through the whole thing, Alan didn't question me. However, I was starting to question it. Sure Liam was probably the best thing that happened to me, but he never officially asked me to be his girlfriend. I was worried about this, you see, because if he never really asked me, what was I to respond with when people asked me? Exactly, I didn't know either. Now I also do understand that any girl in the world wouldn't question if Liam told people he was dating them, but a girl like myself was very different from other girls. I wanted to be asked. Which hadn't happened yet. And obviously the rest of the boys were in on something I wasn't when the question finally came and their faces lit up like it was Christmas morning and they were surprised with they favourite car.
"Liam, so tell me, what was that little thing you had talked about earlier?" Alan asked him. The boys immediately started to giggle like young school girls when Liam looked to me. He stood from the couch he was on and walked off the stage and over to me. After some convincing, and dirty comments that I would get later, he dragged me onto the stage in front of Alan and the boys. Two is Better Than One started to play softly in the background and Liam took my hands in his. Our fingers laced together and he started to blush.
"Taylor Lerot, the day I met you I knew I wanted you to myself. You started as our stylist, but I see you as so much more. I remember what you wore that first day. Your hair was curled down your back, and you were dressed comfortably but very professional. When you speak, you give me butterflies," he said. I gave him butterflies? I could say the same for him. I looked at the floor, but he placed a finger under my chin and lifted my head to look at him as he continued. "I can't believe I fell for you as hard as I did. I never actually thought I fall that hard and not get hurt in the process. You are the absolute light of my life and I don't know what I would do with out you. If you only knew the amount of work I put into this. Ask the boys, I was a nervous wreck leading up to today. I had to make sure I got this right. Taylor, would you please do the me the wonderful honor and please be my girlfriend?" he asked. I actually stood there like an idiot while he waited for my answer. After a few seconds of staring at his wonderfulness, I threw my arms around him and hugged him like it was the only thing I knew. Being shorter than him, I had wrapped my legs around his waist. His arms supported me as I pulled my head back and smothered him with kisses. I felt tears slowly roll down my cheeks. When we finally pulled apart, I spoke.
"Yes," I cried. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, one hundred percent yes!" There were various awws and silent tears from the crowd. We had just declared our relationship to each other, and I already knew I loved him. I. Loved. Him.
Two months later, I moved in with Liam. Things were really crazy because of the numerous tours, but we made everything work considering I was their stylist and I got to see my boyfriend almost naked just about every day. Seeing Harry, Louis, Zayn, and Niall almost naked was really weird at first. But I finally just resorted into thinking they were my brothers and it didn't bother me anymore.
Now back to were I was with laying in bed with Liam. We lay there for a while in a comfortable silence. When he shuffled uncomfortably beside me, my instinct told me something was obviously wrong.
"Liam? What's wrong?" I asked looking up at him. He looked down and a smile crept upon his lips.
"I love you," he stated. At that point, I was the happiest I'd ever been because that was the first time Liam had ever said he loved me. For real. I shifted our position so that I was straddling him and kissed him vigorously. He laughed in the kiss and I smiled.
"I love you too. More than you will ever imagine. I love you so much, Liam," I said, silent tears making their way down my face.
After a steamy make out session, and quite another round of love making, I knew he was the one I always wanted to be with. Liam was the one I loved and wanted to spend my days with. Fighting, making up with each other, being happy with each other, and just enjoying each other. If kissing sessions and steamy sex was involved, then so be it. I just knew he was the one. Liam was my eternity.
THE NEXT DAY
It was about eleven in the morning when I got a call. "Is this Liam's girlfriend Taylor Lerot?" The man on the other end of the line asked. Something in his voice was scary. Worried.
"Yes, this is she," I replied as I put down a shirt in the boys dressing room. They had a concert that night, and I was busy putting together their outfits for each of the changes.
"I'm very sorry to tell you that Liam Payne has been involved in an accident. I need you to come to the hospital as soon as you can please," he stated. I dropped everything I was doing and ran for the door and to my car. Tears racing down my cheeks, I managed to tell Paul and anyone else where I was going and why. On the way there, I almost hit four cars because my sobs were making me swerve across the road.
When I reached the hospital, my eyes puffy and cheeks splotchy, I ran to the nurses station and demanded I see Liam. She gave me directions and I raced to his room. When I arrived, Harry and Louis were already waiting, eyes red and puffy from crying as well. They wrapped me in a huge hug and held me while we all cried. Slowly, we slumped to the ground and sobbed. After twenty minutes of constant crying, I found out Niall and Zayn were in the car with Liam. Liam had been driving and the car came out of nowhere. They were all headed to the same place, except Harry and Louis wanted to get food so they went in a different car. The amount of grief that was plastered upon their faces was enough to know they blamed themselves for the incident.
After an hour of endless waiting, a doctor came in. He informed us that they were all pretty bad and were going to be kept over night, however, Liam was ported to ICU because of his injuries. Niall and Zayn had received the least amount of damage; a few bruised ribs, cuts and scratches, but none as worse as Liam. And of course it had to be Liam. When the doctor said two people could go see him, Harry said he'd go see Niall and Louis, Zayn, leaving me to my boyfriend. I wasn't happy, considering I knew they wanted to see him more than I probably, but they still made me go see him first.
The sight of Liam when I walked through the door startled me honestly. He was on a breathing machine that was down his throat. A white bandage wrapped around his head, probably covering a massive cut. His arm was wrapped in a bandage and hung in a sling a little above his head. His legs were covered with the blanket so I couldn't see any damage. I shut my eyes together and closed the door behind me. This image scared me more than anyone could imagine.
I walked over to the side of the bed he was in and sat down in a chair. My hand reached out and grasped his left one. The coldness of it scared me. Both my hands wrapped around that one hand and tried to warm it.
"I love you, Liam. Don't you ever forget that. I love you and only you. You are my life. Stay with me. Don't let go just yet," I sobbed. "Please, don't let go yet. Hold on to me."
The rest of that day and night consisted of me sitting beside Liam, crying and talking to him mostly telling him I loved him and if he let go I would kill him. The doctors said he wasn't expected to make it through the night, but HA to them because he did. At around three or four the next morning, Louis and Harry came knocking on the door and told me to go get food and something to drink. I hadn't eaten anything since the morning before. I hadn't ever noticed anything until they brought something up about it. I didn't want to leave Liam's side, so they finally picked me up from my chair that I hadn't budged from, even when nurses came and went.
I walked down to the cafe and got some food and a drink and sat in the corner and ate. After eating, I decided to pay a small visit to Niall and Zayn. My feet took me to Zayn first, probably knowing he would tell me everything and not sugarcoat it like Niall might do. Zayn's face lit up when he saw me. I didn't understand why, I looked horrible.
"Taylor!" Zayn beamed. I walked over to his bed and gave him a hug before sitting down in the chair. "How are you?" he asked. I looked down at my hands and then back at him.
"I'm not sure. Pretty numb, really. Zayn, I don't want sugarcoating. Tell me everything that happened from the time Liam dropped me off at the venue this morning."
He let out a sigh before beginning. "When he dropped you off, we all, the rest of the boys and myself, decided to go for breakfast at this really small cafe on the outskirts of town that was a very small hole in the wall. After that we wanted to shop a little. So we did and then Louis and Harry called someone to get them to get food. When they left, Niall, Liam, and I headed back to the van to drive back to the venue. Taylor, believe me when I tell you this, the car came out of nowhere. One minute we were driving along and under a green light, the next we were laying on our sides and the van kept rolling. It was like a bad carnival ride. Then after three rolls I was aware of, I blacked out. Then I woke up with Louis by my side. Nothing too bad is wrong with me or Niall, but I wish they'd let me get up to go see Liam though. I knew I shouldn't have let him drive. I had this gut feeling like something was bound to happen. Taylor, I am so sorry. I wish I would have. I don't know what I will do if-"
"Nothing is going to happen. Thank you for not lying to me. I'm going to go see Niall. Thanks again," I cut him off. I stood up and kissed his forehead before thanking him again and walked to the Irish man's room.
Nothing really important happened with my visit with Niall. I mainly just talked about how I was and asked him how he was. Basically we were avoiding the Liam situation all together. After an hour with him, I walked back up to Liam's room and was greeted in the hallway with Harry walking out into the hallway crying and sliding down the wall. He ran his hands through his hair with force and banged his head against the wall behind him. He drew his knees up to his chest and buried his face in between his arms. His body wracked with sobs.
"Harry?" I asked. He looked up a quickly stood up, wiping his eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked. His bottom lip quivered and he looked at the floor. He sniffled and let out a sob. Harry looked up and gazed into my eyes before mouthing 'I'm sorry' because he couldn't even talk. Then his gaze averted to Liam's room. The door was slightly open but I could make out Louis on the floor. I looked back to Harry, but he was already looking away with the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to suppress another sob. My feet took me into the room where Louis sat on the floor sobbing and then to Liam's bedside. "Liam?" I croaked. My voice was scratchy and difficult to work with. I gripped the same hand I held onto for almost two days and felt it freezing cold. "Liam. Wake up, please. Liam, please wake up," I cried. Two hands wrapped around my shoulders and I turned to find Harry crying . "Harry, no.. NO!" I cried harder. I hit Harry's chest with all my might and eventually resulted to the floor, Harry still holding me.
"I'm so sorry, Taylor," Harry cried.
"He's gone," I cried. "He's gone. He let go. He wasn't to let go," I sobbed more.
PRESENT TIME
I sat in my seat, tears streaming down my cheeks. The preacher spoke about how wonderful he was. Wonderful. Bullshit. He was perfect. Fucking perfect. With Harry and Niall on my left, and Zayn and Louis on my right, I felt comforted. I felt sort of safe with them sitting next to me. You could feel the sadness in the air. Literally feel it.
It was finally my turn to speak after each of the boys. As I made my way up onto the stage, I passed his coffin. His coffin. Liam's coffin. My hand slid across the top, and I felt a wave of confidence run over me. Confidence and love. Love that only one person can give me. Liam.
"I know everyone came here to mourn over the loss of a brother, son, lover, friend," I began, "but I can't talk anymore sadness. So I'm only going to tell the good stories. I'll start when I first met Liam. He was amazing. He and the boys were just so welcoming and loving. They made me feel at home; something no one could provide me for the longest time. But they did. We were like this big family when it came down to it. Liam was just someone who I knew I'd love from the beginning. I can't ever remember a bad thing about him. Well, maybe aside from the fact that he got a little over excited about events and such," I said earning a laugh from the church.
"There was this one time that he was over at mine and we were making cookies for his sister's birthday party we were going to. I was taking the cookies out and putting more back in. Liam's only job was to ice the cookies and then put sprinkles on them. One job. In the end, the icing bowl was dropped due to the fact that he thought he was a famous chef, so he put it in his arms like a baby and iced them that way. From what I said, we came to a conclusion that night that he should just stick to singing. Now that I think about it, that was the first time I saw the child in him come out. He wasn't stressed like he usually was, he wasn't upset, but he was happy. And so was I. I was completely and utterly falling in love with him. It was only a few days ago when he finally told me he loved me. We were laying in bed and being surrounded by the comfortable silence the room provided. I knew something was wrong so I asked. He then proceeded to laugh at me. Then he told me he loved me. At that moment right there, my heart let down all the walls and I told him I loved him. I told him I loved him more than he would ever know. I still do. I will always love him. I don't think I'd ever be able to love someone else the way I love Liam. There probably isn't another person on the earth that will even come close to anyone like Liam. He was special in his own special way, and he had this thing about him. This wonderful, perfect thing about him. That's what I loved so much about him. Liam was such a wonderful person and will never ever be forgotten," I let out a sigh. I turned my head to where he lay in the coffin. "I love you so much and I will never ever forget you. You are my eternity," and with that I was finished. I was starting to get choked up. After returning to my seat, I locked hands with Harry and Zayn and they gave me a reassuring squeeze.
When the service ended, the boys lifted the casket onto their shoulders and then we all headed off towards the grave site. We arrived and the casket was sat on the thing that lowers it down into the ground. Throughout this whole thing, I kept my hands locked with Harry and Zayn while Niall and Louis stood behind me and kept a hand somewhere above the waist.
Sobs wracked my body as the coffin lowered farther down and out of my reach. My feet moved forward, and I hadn't realized it until the four boys held me back. Tears streamed down my face more and more. And then when we threw the first hand fulls of dirt down, I about jumped down with him. However, Zayn kept me from doing so. Why he was there so much when the others, aside from Liam, weren't. I just blew it off.
That night, all the boys flooded Zayn's apartment. It was a pretty silent night. Nobody knew really what to say, and I know they were trying to spare me from bursting into a crying fit again. Mental note, thank them later.
Considering I hadn't slept by myself in so long, Zayn let me sleep in his bed with him. Instinctively, I turned into his chest and rested my hands on his pecks. This came as a surprise to him, so I backed off. He caught on and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I gripped his shirt and pulled him closer. He wasn't Liam, but he was someone I could cuddle and be close to. Someone to hold me.
I woke up at around two or three in the morning lying in the same position I was in when I fell asleep. My eyes felt crusty from the crying. My body ached. I felt like shit.
My feet took me to the kitchen where I got a glass of water. While I was sipping on my water, there was a small whisper. Very small, but I noticed it. I followed it. Not knowing what it would be, but honestly I had nothing else to lose.
I found myself in front of the door of the guest room. My hands slowly opened the door and my eyes widened at the sight of the precious angel standing in front of me. "Liam?" I breathed. He smiled and opened his arms. I ran into him and hugged him for all I had. My head lifted and my eyes stared into his perfect brown orbs. "Liam. I love you," I sighed and hugged him again. "Why are you here?"
He tucked a stray hair behind my ear and cupped the side of my face. "I came back to say good bye. I love you, Taylor, and I promise when I see you again, I will take you out and I will be with you forever. I will love you forever. We will be each others. I don't have a lot of time, but I want you to know I love you more than life and I want to be selfish and tell you to wait until you see me again, but I can't. Someone will come around. Sooner or later, someone will. Taylor, don't not find another someone because of me," he said. I looked at him again. I leaned up to kiss him and felt his lips against mine. It felt real. It felt loving.
"Liam, will you take me with you?" I asked in all seriousness. He laughed a little before responding.
"No, babe. But I promise, I promise you that you will see me soon enough. I have to go now, but don't be afraid. I will always be here. Whenever you need me, just think about me and I will be there. I love you so much," he told me. I leaned up and kissed him again before pulling away and hugging the living crap out of him. He hugged me back and it felt so...real... like he really was there. He pulled back and took my hand. He then led me through the apartment and to Zayn's room. Liam wasn't even mad I was with him.
Liam took my hand and pulled me to the bed. After tucking me in, he kissed my lips-which I made last longer by placed my hand at the back of his head- and then kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes for a second and he whispered, "I love you". When I opened my eyes again, he was gone. I let out a sob as I cuddled up to Zayn again, who felt my crying and woke up.
"What's wrong, love?" he asked.
I gripped onto his shirt tighter and let out another sob. "My eternity is gone," I cried. Zayn gripped my upper body and tightened his grip. "My eternity."