Disclaimer: Should I add this every time I want to upload a story? Okay then, Hellsing is not mined, blah blah blah, but this story is mine, blah blah blah, not receive anything from this story but some reviews (if I'm lucky), blah blah blah blah blah.

Spider, cockroach, rat, and a lion

That evening went so silent in the Hellsing Manor. Everything is under control, and it seemed that peace come to that place at last. But it's not a condition Alucard gonna like. And he has his own way to amuse him self. A visit to his master's chamber always a perfect thing to enjoy.

"What do you want, Alucard?" Integra asked him even though he didn't show his form. She was just trying to sleep that evening. She needed to prepare for a royal ceremony that night.

"What a master. Always aware of her beloved servant." He said as he materialized into the room.

"It's a rare time of silence. Why should you tease me now?" Her voice full of anger.

"Haven't I been a good servant? Is that your way to reward your best troop?" He said this with a sad eye. But Integra's keen eyes were so trained no to believe in everything he said. Or try to say.

"Don't make a fool of me Aluc –Aaaaarrrggghh!" She screamed as a spider appeared near her. She jumped of her bed and reached for her gun and shot it. The bullet stroke the spider right before crushed it and left a hole at the tile.

Alucard watching her in a surprise. He never thought that his master has such a weakness. To a creature that can't even pull a stray of her hair? His grin grew wider. An idea popped in his mind.

"Master! There's another at your pajama!" He yelled in his disguising surprise.

"Aaaack! Get it off me!" She screamed in horror. Got his chance, Alucard removed her pajama off her. Right after he ripped her panties in a flash, another idea popped in. Just in a really short time, after making sure she was naked, Alucard showed his surprise expressions once again and pointed to her feet and yelled,

"Oh, Master, a big dirty black rat! I'll save you!" And he grabbed her waist and threw her to her bed. But it's not over yet.

"Nooo! There's a cockroach inside my clothes!" And suddenly all his clothes disappeared and left him nude. And before there was time for Integra to react, once again he screamed,

"Aaaarrggh! A lion! I will save you, Master." And he hopped onto Integra.

Author: I know, it's crazy, but review anyway.