I know, I know, I know. There's so much I could be and should be working on right now. But my brain's apparently decided that's a silly idea and I should write early-Pond!fluff. Like really early. What can I say? Season Five is perfect in my eyes and I still miss Ponds (and the 11th Doctor…and River…it's been a rough Season Seven…). Enjoy!

Dobby's Polka-Dotted Sock

Cross-examinations

Rory was still puzzling over the sudden absolute lack of noise, but although he had brought it up in the first place, the Doctor bounded into the console room soon after him, slamming the doors shut cheerfully and raced around him up the stairs to join a waiting Amy. "Right! As far as presents go, that could have been better—actually, that's usually how my presents go, the recipients tend to get used to it after a while. Or they simply demand I stop giving them presents. Makes Christmases awkward…so, thoughts?" The alien surveyed them both eagerly, and Rory blinked in surprise at the realization that his opinion was being asked for as well.

"I had fun," Amy chirped, sealing their fate as far as future Christmases went, apparently. "I mean, vampires in Venice? Doesn't get better than that."

The Doctor was grinning back at her and Rory felt that familiar sting at the sight of her sharing that bright smile with someone else. Unable to help the hint of sarcasm, he added, "Yep. I mean, I really, really wanted to almost drown on my stag night."

Now the alien was looking at him curiously for expressing such an odd desire, but Amy knew Rory far better and so was scowling, though not too angry. "Oh shut it, you, we came out of it ok."

It was funny she could say that now when just a few hours before she'd been practically sobbing over the Doctor's still form. And Rory, who had been nodding in grudging acceptance of her scolding, stopped sharply as a rather vivid recollection came to the forefront of his mind; the other male jerking violently in reaction to the volts of electricity, strange stuttering noises not given quite enough time to grow into shouts of pain escaping, before the green and brown eyes that somehow just seemed too abnormal to simply be hazel rolled up and he'd toppled boneless down the steps.

The staccato clap of the Doctor's hands broke him from the horrific reverie, and Rory looked to see the Time Lord's young-looking face free of any pain or worry. "Exactly, Pond. That's us, the ok team, never a bump or scrape we can't handle! And anyway," the alien continued to prattle, even as he spun away from her finally to take command over the controls, and Rory stepped up to take his place beside his fiancée by the railing, "there's always the TARDIS med bay if it's something a little more serious."

It had been added offhand, clearly something the other male hadn't given more than a passing thought to, but Rory's mind was still preoccupied with twitching limbs and shallow, barely-there breath. So he asked, "There's a med bay on this ship?" When the Doctor nodded absently while reaching for the monitor to check something, Rory then decided, "Great, we're going there."

Amy looked at him quizzically at the same time the Doctor did, but the other male practically leapt forward to the two of them, eyes darting from one to the other. "Why, is something wrong? Were you hurt?" It momentarily threw him, the outright alarm and concern that did not waver in intensity in the slightest whenever the ancient eyes traveled from Amy to Rory's face.

The redhead was clearly more used to this distress on her behalf, more used to it than Rory anyway, for she quickly reassured, "Not me."

"Nor me," Rory answered dutifully, then adding after a beat, "But you were."

Amy bit her lip, looking between the two of them as the Doctor seemed incredulous and Rory just stared. "Me?" The Time Lord finally replied. "Oh, come now, Rory, that- that was nothing!" One of the alien's ever-flapping hands waved dismissively. "Just had to sleep on it a bit, you know? Electrocution's a walk in the park for me—" He likely would have gone on, but the TARDIS chose that moment to rock to one side suddenly, sending the pilot reeling into the railing. The ship then righted itself as he rubbed at his back, grumbling and making his way back to the controls on legs not as steady as usual.

"Yeah, well, would it be too much trouble for me to check for myself? I am a nurse," he pointed out, feeling ashamed for pulling that card now. He hadn't done much before except check that the Time Lord was alive and then carry him back to Guido's place while Amy hovered anxiously and the other man mourned for his daughter.

He was supposed to be being the better man here, and yet he was letting jealousy get in the way of his job. Sure, there was more than a little tension between him and the Doctor, and he still really had no idea if the alien was at all interested like that in Amy or if it was just a figment of Rory's insecurities. But he had become a nurse to help people, and now that ought to include non-human people too.

"I, ah," the Doctor hedged, not quite looking at them but seeming close to relenting. He was more than a little glad for that; Rory was rubbish at these verbal spars they seemed to have. "Oh, alright. If it'll make you feel better."

Amy turned Rory's suggestion into conviction by catching his eye and mouthing a quick 'Thank you'. Clearly he wasn't alone in his worries. "It will," he told the Doctor. "Really just a basic examination, just to make sure you're alright."

The Doctor rolled his eyes at this perceived unnecessariness, but it was Amy who spoke up. "'Examination'? Ooh, the Doctor and the nurse—mind if I sit in on this one?"

Both males blushed to varying degrees, but it was the Doctor who cleared his throat and said, "I think not, Amy. Perhaps you can pick our next destination instead. I'll even give you temporary access to the TARDIS databanks." He guided her over to stand before the monitor as he said it.

"Not worried I'll just look up pictures of all your gorgeous companions?" Rory had to raise an eyebrow at that tease, but decided not to ask for that story right now.

"I'm afraid the gorgeous file only contains pictures of Rory at the moment," was the returning quip, which Rory was positive was mocking. No doubt this was some weird way to deflect all the embarrassment onto him.

But the Doctor's smile was what he could only describe as proud when Amy easily agreed, "Very true," and skipped over to place a kiss on her fiancée's cheek. Rory shuffled a bit at the awkward praise. The Scottish woman then traipsed up the stairs to the second level and entered a corridor. "But I think I'll go make that pot of tea I was going on about. You boys have fun!"

And with that they were left standing in the console room. Neither spoke for a long moment.

"It's this way," the Doctor said suddenly, gesturing to the other corridor. "The med bay, if you're still keen on this?" When Rory nodded, the Time Lord gave an almost fatalistic sigh. "Well then, shall we, Nurse Rory?"

He followed after the alien, catching him up about midway down the strange, tunnel-like corridor, and felt the need to explain himself somewhat. "It's not just the electrocution bit—I mean, yeah, it's mostly that, but also, you got electrocuted, then attacked by fish vampires—"

"Sexy fish vampires," the Time Lord interrupted. At Rory's unimpressed look, he shook his head and explained, "It's all about the name, Rory. No one wants to hear about fish vampires, it sounds odd and mildly disgusting. But put 'sexy' in front of it, then you've got a story!"

"Right, well, it actually happened and it was pretty disgusting," he deadpanned. "Can I continue? Because I've barely done half." The other male raised an eyebrow but stayed silent. "Ok, so then you barely got out of the house alive because Guido almost blew us all up, and then you got soaked to the skin while climbing a bell tower all by yourself in the middle of an apocalypse. And that's cutting out all the running around from here to there. Can you see why, from a medical standpoint, I'm a bit concerned?"

"Right, yes, a medical standpoint," the alien nodded agreeably. "Here we are then." He leaned against a door, pushing it open to reveal a large room kitted out with everything Rory could ever possibly need to do his job and so much more. It was sort of aweing. "The TARDIS will have set up something a bit more familiar to you to use," the Doctor was explaining, leading them over to an exam table which he hopped up onto, swinging his legs like a little kid in for a checkup.

"Ok, so, no bruising or cuts or anything?" Rory began, trying to get into that professional mode. It was hard when the bowtie-wearing man just cheerfully shook his head and then crossed his feet at the ankles, swinging them together. "Um, great. I should probably check your heart rate is normal—"

"Heart rates are," the Time Lord amended, and Rory physically took a step back.

"Sorry?"

"I've got two," the Doctor informed him, pointing once to each side of his chest. "And my body temperature's lower than a human's, so don't start panicking if you check that."

"O…k…" he processed this new knowledge, just trying to imagine what all those differences in biology meant, or how that might affect the Time Lord's health. "Well thanks, for telling me, I mean," he finally said, moving forward again to pick up the stethoscope that was resting on the table next to the other male. "I'm going to check your, er, hearts and your breathing, so it might be easier if you take the jacket off." He gestured vaguely at the tweed, trying not to remember the last time they'd been in a hospital setting.

The alien complied, shrugging his arms out of the sleeves as he muttered somewhat irritably, "What is it with you two?" It had probably been meant to be rhetorical, but Rory stiffened and the Doctor noticed. "Rory, you seem to have a terrible time telling when I am joking."

"Yeah, I get that from a lot of people," he admitted, relaxing enough to step forward with the stethoscope and listen, first to one heart then the other, which the Doctor helpfully guided him to.

"You've every reason to resent me, of course," the Time Lord spoke up in lieu of taking a deep breath like Rory had requested, and so instead he snapped his head up to look at the other male. A dreadfully sad look was on the other's face as he elaborated, "It wouldn't be the first time I've come between two people. I never intend to, at first, but sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it."

"Oh," was all Rory could say. That familiar awkwardness around the alien was back, and he was beginning to hate the fact that almost every conversation seemed to revolve around this; he'd probably started it, but by now his angry, blinding jealously had faded somewhat and he could see how ridiculous this would be to keep up if he really was going to keep traveling with them.

But the Time Lord seemed to want to get this off his chest, for he continued, "It wasn't so long ago, one of my previous companions. A young woman—a girl, no older than you when we first met." Rory thought back to his nineteen year-old self who went around in scrubs and a really ratty hoodie. "Anyway, I let her think, maybe, there was some possibility for us. I suppose the common slang is that I 'led her on'." The alien looked to him once for confirmation, and Rory nodded. "Right, well in turn she led her actual boyfriend on. Perfectly nice bloke, good to her, cared for her. But it was never the same, once I'd arrived. Different man then, couldn't help myself. I needed her, or someone, so desperately," the Doctor's eyes seemed to bore into him with a sudden weight of loneliness and pain, almost trying to force him to understand.

Rory swallowed around a suddenly dry throat. "So you don't need Amy?" It was odd how he felt equal parts relief and outrage at the thought.

But the Doctor gave a rueful shake of his head. "No, I need her, very much. And you, if you'll stay." Rory must have looked shocked, for the Time Lord nodded, and said, "I always need the one's who'll stay, though no one ever really does. Not really. Not even Amy."

He felt like the other male was trying to tell him something important there, but he couldn't quite grasp it, so instead he tried to joke, "I doubt you'll have to worry about that just yet."

"No," the alien agreed. "And it is such a rush, Rory, when they look at you, like you're so- so—" He seemed to be struggling to explain this part, one hand reaching out with the fingers splayed wide as if reaching out to some grand ideal.

"Hot?" Rory supplied in his best attempt at Guy Talk.

"Human," the Doctor finished, a corner of his mouth crooking upwards and his eyes and forehead crinkling in amusement as Rory blushed red and looked down at his toes. "Though you're probably a bit closer to the mark when it comes to what they're thinking, I suppose," the Time Lord acknowledged, which made him feel a bit less embarrassed at least.

"Amy doesn't think of you as human, though. I mean, even when we were kids she was always going on about you being this weird time traveler from space."

"Well, Amy Pond's a special girl," the Doctor replied, which Rory could readily agree to. "And I'm a new man now, different, alien. And I have learned my lesson, hopefully, because Rory—it would have been you." The alien had stopped swinging his legs a long time ago, but Rory only now realized how serious the other male had become. "It will be you, Rory, I promise. I'll make sure of it."

And Rory recognized what the Doctor was saying; Amy was better than what Rory had been assuming, and the Doctor must have seen so to have collected him instead of taking advantage. He just didn't know if he was ready to accept it out loud.

Instead, he walked around the exam table and placed the stethoscope on the Time Lord's back. "Take a deep breath." His sort-of patient did so, but held it as Rory spoke up again, feeling a bit more comfortable with what he wanted to say when the alien couldn't look at him. "I will stay, you know, as long as Amy wants me, which you seem to think is for a while. So that's good I guess. I mean, if you don't really want me to stay, it's your ship so you don't have to keep me around or something just because Amy asks. I don't want to just be some awkward hanger-on or anything. Because the- the sexy fish vampires and everything, it's a bit weird. But I think I might, you know, be able to adjust. It ended up being a lot of fun, actually, and—you really should be passed out by now, how are you not breathing?"

"Oh sorry, did I forget to mention the respiratory bypass?" The Doctor inquired, perfectly fine, and Rory listened as his lungs filled back up with air finally.

"Yep," he answered succinctly.

The Time Lord shrugged and glanced back at him over his shoulder. "Ah well, can't get them all."

The med bay door swung open again and in walked Amy with a tray and three steaming cups. "Would my boys like tea?" She asked, already making her way to the table where she set the tray down and then hopped up herself next to the Doctor. She reached over and patted the spot on the other side of the alien, clearly indicating that that was Rory's spot.

The Doctor smiled encouragingly enough at him so he moved to sit down as the Time Lord then turned to Amy and accepted a cup on a saucer. "Thank you, Pond, how very thoughtful." He then passed both items carefully to Rory.

"Um, yeah thanks," he added, a bit to both his fiancée and her imaginary friend.

"What can I say, I try," Amy graciously accepted their praise, handing the Doctor a second cup and saucer. Taking up the last one, she lifted the cup to her lips before pausing and scrutinizing the alien over the rim. "So you're fine, yeah?"

The Doctor deferred oddly enough to Rory, turning to him and causing Amy to lean around and look as well. Rory had been taking a tentative sip of tea and so had to hastily swallow the still-hot mouthful. "Er, yeah, pretty much. Recommend taking it easy for a bit though, he keeps wincing when you touch him."

The Doctor, who had smiled brightly at the 'yeah' and taken a gulp of tea, was now spluttering at the observation. Amy, however, simply rolled her eyes. "Well yeah, I could see that for myself, thank you. Some examination, you didn't even get the bowtie off."

"Amelia Pond!" The Doctor exclaimed, aghast, mercifully drawing the attention away from red-faced Rory, at least. He felt humiliated enough already. "Rory was simply acting as a medical professional checking that everything was working as it should while we had a chat and—oh!"

The Time Lord's head whipped about sharply toward him again, eyes and mouth comically wide in abrupt realization. Rory just shrugged his shoulders and didn't quite meet his gaze head on. So maybe the exam hadn't only been a physical.

The Doctor finally snapped his mouth shut, shook his head, and relaxed his posture slightly, perhaps letting them see a hint of the exhaustion caused by this latest adventure. "Oh…you two. You're something else, you know that?"

Amy wore a cheeky smile that Rory did his best to return when she glanced at him. The Doctor's mild exasperation seemed to melt away and he bopped them both on the nose, eyes crinkling in extra amusement when Rory wrinkled his in befuddled response.

Amy laughed as well, which drew the alien's attention back her way again with a warm smile and contented sigh. "I need a name for you, Amy and Rory, something that makes clear I'm talking about you both and no other people. I'll think of it, so remind me later…when I'm not so tired," this last bit was said around a yawn as he gestured lazily with one hand, and it seemed weird but kind of nice that aliens yawned. The Time Lord then drained the rest of his cup of tea, setting it aside as he blinked rapidly in a classic move to ward off sleep, which never worked.

"Someone's ready for a trip to Dream Land," Amy said in a softer sing-song voice, leaning her whole body to the left and nudging the Doctor gently, which was enough to cause the bowtie wearing male to brush sides with Rory as well as he too leaned. But then he stayed there, head resting on Rory's shoulder.

"Might be nice, never know…can't hurt…" was the mumbled reply that trailed off to nowhere as the Time Lord nuzzled his way into the crook between Rory's chin and his shoulder, which he tried valiantly not to squirm too much in reaction to. He was able to just see in his peripheral vision that the alien had also entwined the fingers of one hand with Amy's.

The redhead in question was grinning widely at the probably adorable picture this painted, to her mind. She reached out with her free hand to brush some of the time traveler's floppy hair back. The Doctor burrowed a bit further into Rory, dragging Amy's captured arm along with him like a teddy or a blanket. Rory made a face and hoped Time Lords didn't drool. Amy chuckled and rewarded him with a quick kiss to the lips.

"Come on," she said quietly, "you can show off how strong you are again by putting him to bed. There's bunk beds in the room now, don't ask me why." She stood, taking care not to stir the sleeping alien between them. Clearly she meant her room, the room the Doctor had given Amy to use. Rory hadn't been given a room yet. Or maybe he hadn't been given his own room. "We can put him on the top. I bet he'll roll over and fall off or something hilarious."

Rory worked to get his one arm under the Time Lord's knees while he held his upper body steady with the other arm and then stood with the alien genius none the wiser. "I think maybe we ought to tuck him in," he replied in a lower tone of voice than usual.

But Amy didn't pout at him for being boring; she smiled warmly at him for being the one to suggest it, which he realized had been her plan all along. Neither of them had mentioned the empty bed in the med bay just waiting for an occupant. She led their weirdly connected three-person chain out into the corridor and to the bedroom, helping Rory to hoist the Doctor up onto the top bunk and tucking him in while Rory undid the other male's laces and removed his boots. She placed a kiss to the Time Lord's forehead that he strangely enough felt no anger over.

And as Amy snuggled into his side under the covers of their bottom bunk, Rory knew this was where he was going to stay. The Doctor would make sure of it.

So yeah. I don't know how canon this could be; there's never really any mention of the Doctor needing to recover from "The Vampires of Venice", but it was a pretty whumptastic episode generally speaking. I don't see why Rory wouldn't be able to get over his insecurities to at least try to care for his (soon to be) best friend. Cause they're all best friends.

Main theme/theory I wanted to get across here was this: to me, Season Five Doctor, Amy, and Rory is Doctor, Rose, and Mickey done right. Seriously, Mickey was awesome and didn't deserve any of that; it just took Rory being even more awesome and not taking any of that for the Doctor to realize it. My hope is that the producers/writers/whatever at the BBC took a look at Seasons One and Two and saw how much of a jerk the Doctor was being for totally swooping in and stealing some poor guy's girlfriend and never having the decency to say sorry, and how much of a jerk Rose was being for never just telling her boyfriend "We're done." Setting aside any Doctor/Rose pairing debates, that was just a jerk move, on both their parts, and they should feel very ashamed.

Aside from that, I guess a couple references were made to "The Doctor's Wife" about the bunk beds and, yes, Amy's teasing the Doctor about nodding off to Dream Land was a bit of a tease about the canonically following episode "Amy's Choice". Which did hurt, it hurt a lot. I know, Polka-Dotted Sock, you're not funny.

Anyway, I hope I got awkward tension from sort-of!rivalry and super-flirty!Amy down, I'm used to writing the Doctor and the Ponds when they're totally besties/family/whatever—and oh! That reminds me, yes, when the Doctor was talking about needing a name for them, that's the origins for why he decides to start calling them collectively Ponds, because I kept having to use a lot of "you two" or "you both" which was annoying both me and the Doctor. So yeah, bit of random trivia for you. At any rate, I hope you enjoyed this, thanks for reading, and please review!