"Happy birthday, Dad!"
A flash of light and a gust of breath, the candles on the vanilla cake resting in front of Levi go out in a 'poof' and wispy grey smoke begins to waft up from the wick. A tiny smile plays that the corner of his mouth and he turns to Armin standing beside him, wide-eyed and beaming with a pearly smile.
"Thank you," he says simply. "But I tell you every year this shit is unnecessary." Christmas exchange plus a birthday party… yeah, it was in excess and unnecessary alright.
"We know. It's why it's so fun to do."
"Tch."
"Love you too, Dad."
The others laugh—Eren and Mikasa—and the cake is cut with little trouble before slices are passed around and the small gathering digs in. It's nice, Levi feels; the gentle scraping of forks against plates, the childish banter between Armin and Eren. He occasionally looks out the bay window of his kitchen to see an expanse of white and neighborhood children already out and about playing in the snow and the warm feeling in his chest is familiar and nice.
Eren decides, between eating food and playing around with Armin, that putting icing on the other's face is appropriate and Levi chides his son and his son's partner about making messes. Some things never change, he thinks, as he throws a napkin at Armin's face, and Armin surely knows it wasn't done with any real malice. But there's some things that shouldn't change and that didn't need to so he doesn't mind when, instead of actually cleaning up, Armin goes and slaps a dollop of icing onto Eren's nose instead.
The cake's not finished when Levi decides it's time to clean up. There's shredded wrapping on the floor and emptied bags here and there, and he's let it sit there long enough—too long—but he tells Armin that he'll clean up himself even though it's his birthday, that he should get going so he can make it in time to eat at Eren and Mikasa's parents'.
"I'm thirty-nine, that hardly makes me a god damned invalid."
Armin hangs back either way, while Eren and Mikasa get their gifts together to brave the cold outside to pile into their old station wagon. Levi assumes he's being polite—Armin's always been like that—so he lets it slide.
"Don't you think you should get going?" he asks, once tissue paper is in the garbage and old bags are back in the garage ready to be used for next year. He raises an eyebrow at his son, who's suddenly nervous looking with his bottom lip between his teeth and his brows furrowed like he's calculating something.
Hm. Well he hasn't seen that look in quite some time.
"I will. I just wanted to give you your birthday present and thought it'd be best if it was just me… that gave it."
Levi looks on curiously. Hadn't he already gotten his gifts?
"Armin you know how I feel about extra shit. You didn't need to go through the trouble."
Armin's pink face goes red. "I-I know Dad! But… this is important. So…"
Armin reaches into the inside of his jacket and pulls out a brown wrapped package. It's small, no bigger than a CD case. Levi takes it tentatively from Armin's outstretched hands, turns it over in his hand. It's not very heavy; it feels like a frame.
He latches his finger into a corner, tears at the paper with a satisfying rip. He guessed right, it was a frame. He turns it over to see just what kind of picture Armin's given him and he almost stops breathing when he sees what's on the other side.
Six people stand beaming back at him. Well, five. Levi's own face looks back at him with no smile, but he grey eyes are content and there's somewhat of a smirk gracing his lips. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin have all managed to seat themselves into an unnamed mall Santa's lap, faces wide and alight in cheery smiles. The Santa himself has twinkling blue eyes, amused at the fact there's three adult children clamoring onto him. The words "Christmas 2010" are emblazoned in gold and red beneath them.
Levi's eyes focus on them and their faces, mind replaying the memory of that Christmas, before they flicker to the man standing beside him. Towering and solid wearing the most god awful Christmas sweater Levi had ever seen in his life, the man has his arm across Levi's shoulder, holding the smaller man to his side and clutching to him like he's ensuring that Levi will never go away.
"Erwin…"
The name falls out of his mouth before he can stop himself. A pale hand tightens on the frame; thumb goes to swipe over the blonde's face before he stops.
"I was going through all the old pictures with Eren and we realized we never gave you a copy. And well, we thought you'd like it." When Levi says nothing, Armin speaks up quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't really think, you don't have to keep it if you don't want to Dad that was really stupid of me, I—"
"No, Armin," Levi interrupts, looking up. "It's fantastic, I love it."
Armin smiles in a way that doesn't quite reach his eyes and he steps forward to put his arms around Levi's neck.
"I'm glad. I just… I miss him."
"Yeah."
"Happy birthday, Dad."
"Thanks."
It's three hours later, long after Armin and the others have left and not too far off from being dusk outside. He has the picture that Armin gave him in one hand, his car keys in the other. There's a bag that he's prepared as well, filled with a slice of cake, a candle, and a fork.
He gathers everything he'll need before he's off.
The drive to the cemetery is quiet and quick. It begins to snow halfway there, and Levi has to swerve when he hits a patch of black ice on the road. But he knows the way—knows it well for as many times as he'd been there—and he knows which roads to take to avoid another mishap like that and he's there in a half hour flat.
He pulls into the empty parking lot, not bothering to park his car properly. It's Christmas, and he doubts anyone else is going to be there. And if there is, well. There's enough room that his shit parking job won't hurt them too much.
It takes him little time to find the headstone he's looking for after he clamors out of his car, arms laden with the items he'd gathered beforehand. He walks beneath the iron wrought gates of the cemetery, slicked with shimmering ice, with a peaceful look set on his face. He soon finds what he's looking for; between rows and columns that he's walked a hundred times it seems, just under a slowly growing elm tree. His feet crunch into the snow as he stops in front of it.
Erwin Smith
October 1973 – December 2010
Treasured Son, Father, Husband
He who was loved in life
Shall be loved in death
Son… Father… Husband… roles that Erwin had filled when he was alive but hardly what Levi felt encompassed who he was. He'd wanted more, so much more but there was so little time and no preparation. One minute Erwin was driving home for Christmas dinner and the next…
They'd said that if the semi had had a working break system, Erwin would have been able to swerve in time. Funny how fate never works based on the "ifs" of life.
But as he reminds himself, like he does every time he comes here, it's too late for those sorts of thoughts.
His hand reaches into his pocket, where he'd placed the picture Armin had given him. His eyes linger over Erwin's face, taking in everything from the aristocratic arch of his brows to the warm smile at his lips.
And those goddamned cheekbones. Even after all this time…
Levi takes his time to kneel down, set the bag with his slice of cake on the snow beside him before he rests the framed picture against the tombstone. He begins to speak as he pulls out the cake, sealed safely in the Tupperware he'd put it in at home.
"It's Christmas again, Erwin. Armin brought Eren over, again. This time Mikasa showed up. I think she's finally gotten over her dislike of me; she actually complimented my tree this year."
He pulls his legs underneath him crossed and absently brushes off fluffy snow from the top of the grave marker.
"It was nice, Christmas. Snowed a hell of a lot more than last year—" he looks disdainfully at the fluff around him "—but no power outages from ice, thank god. I finally got around to getting Armin that set of books he's been dying to have. You know the ones—all about the oceans and marine life. I told you about them last time."
Levi spares a slight chuckle. "You know, I almost think he should be an oceanographer or something, instead of a teacher. But he gets to work with Eren, and it makes him happy."
"Speaking of Eren, Erwin, you should know that, yes, he's finally gotten that position coaching at the school. Persistent little shit. That boy never gives the fuck up, I'll give him that…"
He shifts, fidgeting the slice of cake in the Tupperware between his hands.
"They're all doing well, really. More than well. You'd be proud of them. Especially Armin…for not being biological he certainly takes after you. He has that eyebrow thing down pat—that whole raising the one up thing. Used to make you look like the biggest fucking smart ass."
Snow begins to fall, and Levi falls silent with it. He pulls the fork he brought out and finally takes a bite of the cake as he continues on.
"Armin… yeah, he's a lot like you. Gave me this picture, for my birthday," he says, absently waving to the Christmas photo. "Kind of fucking weird at first… I never got the chance to see it before, you know."
He sighs here, looking contemplative. "That one wasn't a bad Christmas either, now that I choose to think about it. First one since Armin moved out and got his own place. I remember, because you kept trying to convince me that I didn't need to take weekends to go over and make sure he and Eren were actually keeping that messy apartment of their clean.
"For the record, I haven't been over there in a month. Do you understand how much control that takes? But it was also the one where we all got our pictures with that fucking mall Santa. Mikasa actually came with us, though I'm still convinced that Eren bribed her. And you wore that stupid sweater with the stripes on it even though I told you how hideous it was."
"But it was fun. And after that we got dinner out at that stupid Italian restaurant you always liked and Armin got drunk on wine for the first time… and I'm sure the last, poor kid."
He pauses here. He's been putting bites of cake into his mouth between sentences, but he looks down and sees it's almost gone. A sigh leaves his lips; that's a sign it's time for him to wrap it up before he delves too deep.
"I…I really miss you Erwin," he says. He sets his almost finished cake down and pulls his legs up under his chin. His arms wrap around his knees, hugging in warmth against the slowly dropping temperature. "I can't say that all of this… Christmas, my birthday, the family thing, has been ruined without you. But it's not the same, either." He laughs sardonically. "I mean, just the other day, it took me forever to rearrange the decorations; I'm so fucking short and you used to do it for me, I had forgotten that ladders exist…"
He almost laughs.
"Ahhh. That wasn't funny. You'll have to excuse that. I've never been much of a comedian. But, you'd always laugh at my jokes anyway, wouldn't you?"
Levi smiles, small but content. The snow still falls, but he still reaches out to wipe off the top of Erwin's gravestone even though it's soon replaced by more.
He starts to hum "Happy Birthday" to himself.
He's alright.
Commanding… presence.
Sorry, I just pissed myself again at how laughable that was. You can't keep that twin of mine over there from pissing all over you and claiming territory like some mangy, scabies-infested bitch in heat but you think my bladder magically releases itself… in your.. Commanding… presence.
Oh god the first time I've laughed in decades and it's gonna kill me jfc get the fuck out of here you fucking lopsided, shit-eating, taint worshiping piss receptacle.
The Scouting Legion isn't gonna have to invest in new latrines with your ass walking around, fuck.
the hedonist#interactions#oh#dead petra jokes#original#here let me give you a hand on your pathetic punchlines#oh wait#[[it should be noted that my levishit talks this erwin dont take this too seriously#[[much]]