I know I promised I'd update TIA (The Infant Aspiration, for those of you who aren't good with acronyms) yesterday at the latest, but since then what started off as a sore throat has become a full out 'I just want to crawl into a hole and die' cold, and now I feel really sick. I wrote this with a bag of Riccola's in my one hand. I just didn't feel like writing, and the only reason I wrote this is because I got a plot bunny that had to immediately be tended to.
I was watching TBBT reruns online, and I began to think about Amy's feelings for Penny. I think that Amy's feelings are not entirely platonic – as we've seen, she's harmlessly flirted with her and complimented her on numerous occasions. There is a chance that Amy might be a bi – or she could simply be doing the experimentation she never got the chance to do before. I don't ship them together, but I couldn't resist just trying to get into Amy's head.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory. I make no compensation from this fic or any other one I have previously worked on or will write in the future.
Amy's life had been changed forever, that day.
In agreement with the deal she had with her mother, she arrived at a coffee shop to meet Dr. Sheldon Cooper on a date. He seemed like someone worthy of going on a few dates with, that dating website had set them up after all. And yes, they went well together. Relationships and romance were never in Amy's area of expertise – biology had been her man, she'd told herself – and so as her relationship with Sheldon continued, Amy's feelings confused her greatly. While she felt strongly for Sheldon, she didn't know if he reciprocated them or not. Clearly he cared about her, but did he love her? Sometimes Amy wasn't so sure. They were a combination of two brilliant minds and Amy didn't know if they could ever be anything more than that – a relationship of the minds.
And while Sheldon made her question some things and gave her a mental challenge, there was someone else who turned her whole world upside down and shook it around – Penny.
Penny was everything Amy had strived to be – beautiful, popular, social, Amy could go on and on. Penny was the girl Amy had always dreamed of being friends with, and for the first few weeks of their friendship Amy half-expected Penny to let out a "Gotcha" and pull a nasty prank on her.
The malice never came. There were no pranks. Perhaps it was because Penny had already been influenced by two physicists, a horny engineer, a quiet astrophysicist and a soft-spoken microbiologist before she met Amy. Her precognitions had been wrong, nonetheless. For every one of Penny's flaws, her inner sparkle made up for it. Maybe it was how her blonde hair cascaded down her back like a golden waterfall, or how her skin looked like smooth porcelain, or how her body reminded Amy of a beautiful goddess.
Amy wanted to dislike her, or at least envy her. Amy told herself that those bright smiles were fake or that her use of the word "Shamy" was juvenile (which it kind of was, but on Penny it added to her charm). Amy had tried to hate her, and she failed miserably.
The failure was at first embarrassing to Amy – she hadn't failed at anything before in her life, and yet she couldn't pass the simple task of making herself hate Penny. But eventually, she realized perhaps this failure was not a bad one.
After Amy realized that a dislike was never meant to be, it seemed impossible for them not to become friends. And once Amy realized how true Penny's motives were, well it was almost like her dreams were coming true. They were besties – as Amy had coined them – and soon Amy found her diving head first into their relationship, trying to make up for all those horrible high school years she'd had to suffer through.
And somewhere along the lines, Amy's feelings began to change once again. At first, Amy didn't know what was going on inside her – she liked Penny and they were friends and that was already more than Amy could ever hope for. And yet she wanted more, something else that she couldn't place.
Suddenly, Amy couldn't help but notice how Penny's eyes shined under direct light, or think how the sound of her laugh was like little bells – happy and joyful. Sometimes, she would even wonder what it would be like to caress Penny's face, to feel Penny's lips against hers, to hear Penny cry out her name. They were fleeting, and lasted as quickly as they came, but there was something about them that made Amy confused. The sexiest thought she'd ever had about Sheldon was that he looked like a praying mantis.
So occasionally – alright, often – Amy would tell Penny just how beautiful she was. That's what pretty girls liked to hear, right? Amy knew she wished someone had told her that she outright radiated! Yet, Amy could tell there was something about these compliments that made Penny uncomfortable. She tried to hide it, but Amy was definitely not stupid, Penny wasn't fooling her.
That was when Amy began to consider that her feelings for Penny were not entirely platonic. Was there a chance that she could be in love with her best friend? Amy didn't know if this was normal, or if these feelings were real. Was it just her getting it out of her system? She'd never experimented with lesbianism like most curious girls. Surely Penny would've had the opportunity to try it out if she had wanted too.
Amy just didn't know what love felt like. It wasn't an emotion she had ever felt before. Were the things she felt for Sheldon love – respect, likeness, challenge – or what she felt for Penny – awe, lust, friendship? Or perhaps neither of them, and love was something Amy was simply not meant to feel. Perhaps biology would always be her man – or woman – and that would be all. Amy wouldn't actually have minded if things stayed at they were, she was happy. For once she had real friends, and that was more than she could've ever hoped for.
One night changed all of that, though. In a moment of drunken passion, their lips had collided, and Amy's thoughts about kissing Penny were finally true. And it was everything she had imagined and more. Her lips were even softer and sweeter than Amy had pictured.
Then, she'd kissed Sheldon. That had been nice too, but in a different way. It was not hot and heavy it was…well, Amy didn't know exactly what that was. The whole time her stomach had been doing somersaults, not because of Sheldon – well, partially because of Sheldon – but because of Penny. Her mind had been telling her to make a choice, Sheldon or Penny, and in the end it was too much for her to bear, and so she ran from the room, emptying the contents of her stomach and letting the memories of the night before elude her mind due to one wicked hangover.
That night, Amy had an epiphany of sorts. Maybe she loved Penny. Maybe she loved Sheldon. Maybe she loved both of them. Maybe she loved neither. But perhaps it was best to just continue on with life as usual, and maybe someday she'd just wake up one day and know. Maybe one day it would hit her, and she'd declare her love and it would or would not be reciprocal. Maybe.,,
Perhaps what she felt for her best friend was love. Perhaps it was not. And either way, that was perfectly fine.
Hope someone out there enjoyed that! I had to get it out of my system and really didn't read it over or anything. So I hope it's not terrible.
A review would be nice.