Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Notes: Hey guys. I just started writing fan fiction for the first time since I was in high school. Thankfully I been doing original writing since then and my writing is significantly better. This is the first chapter to an ongoing series I'm working on called GIRL THE HELL UP. It is a BUFFYxCARMILLA crossover fan fiction. S7 AU where WILLOW transfers to SILAS UNIVERSITY after her stay at the Coven. I'm leading up to Willow/Carmilla. Right now it is written for all ages but probably going to get explicit at some point because that is how I roll.

Girl the Hell Up; Chapter One

"One...two...three.." Willow counted her breath as she used her pale, freckled fingers to trace the sun-beaten tapestry she was sitting upon. Her breath kept a steady rhythm - until a ratchet thought seeped from mind to lungs.

It occurred to Willow that everyday - multiple times a day - lovers were murdered on this god forsaken planet. That her mourning - her stomach cramping, throat-closing, knuckle clenching mourning - was only a blip in the universe's timeline.

It wasn't the first time Willow fell into this thought-cycle. She would think it, again and again, as if she can add up all the meaningless injustices and get to a different conclusion, but all she received were fresh, violet bruises on her already ebony heart.

All she had to do was slip one spell. One spell could lead to some justice. Some vengeance. Despite everything that happened, it was vengeance that Willow hungered for.

Around Willow were three other witches, also meditating on the Coven's front lawn. Willow didn't know any of their names. She wasn't even sure if she ever introduced herself to them. She did know that they flinched away any time she got too close.

Giles was sitting on a tweed tapestry, in front of the mediation class. He was squinting at well-worn leather volume with a foreign title that Willow couldn't translate, trying to wipe the sweat that bundled on his blushed forehead, before it dripped down his wrinkled face onto the yellowed-pages below.

He shook his head; muttered something incomprehensible.

Willow tried to lean forward, to hear exactly what Giles was saying to himself, but before she could, Giles looked up from his book.

She closed her eyes with the casual grace of a Fyarl demon, silently cursing at herself for being so aloof.

She was going to attempt to meditate again, but before she could, a bellowing ring exhaled over the mediation lawn.

Willow opened her eyes. Giles was staring at her, mallet in hand, the brass gong to his side slightly vibrating. The rest of the witches got up to head to the cafeteria for lunch time, however Willow lingered.

"What's up?" she asked.

"We need to talk about your return to Sunnydale. I think it is time."

"What? I don't know..." Willow's shoulders tightened; she bit her lower lip. "There is still so much... to learn... to make sure that I don't get all veiny and homicidal again. Isn't that the point of this whole trip? And what if-"

"They don't take you back? I don't know what the Scoobies are going to do with you, Willow, but you can't hide here forever. At a certain point, you can only grow by experiencing the world."

Willow nodded, tears building in the corner of her eyes. "Thank you, by the way. Thank you for taking me here, showing me everything there is to know about how connected we all are. I thought - I thought you were taking me to England to kill me in front of the council... punish me..."

"Do you want to be punished?"

"I wanna be Willow." Willow brushed her scarlet hair behind her ear and sighed.

"You are. You always will be, don't matter what happens, don't matter what you have done. All that matters is what you do next. You need to commit to an act of redemption, otherwise you'll always be the last thing you really done, which yes, was on the serial killer side of things."

"You were always so wise."

Giles laughed as he pulled a cloth from his pocket to clean his glasses. "Thanks, but I'm not that wise. Mindful, perhaps, but there is lots I don't know. Sorry - I'm having issues with this text on the Silas Hellmouth."

"Right... I forgot there are other Hellmouths..." Willow raised an eyebrow. "I bet... with the Slayer being all Sunnydale bound.. those other ones need some assistance..."

"Here is another piece of wisdom for you. Redemption requires us to stretch past our comfort zone and face what fears us most. And for you, that's Sunnydale and your friends."

Willow and Giles headed towards a bulbous, dome shaped building that loomed over the Coven campus. Inside the building was the library.

As soon as Willow entered, a calm trickled down her spine like the surrounding books were cool water, cleaning her body and mind from anxiety and grime. Her book-thirsty lust was a familiar, nostalgic feeling. One she had way before she learned about magic. It was something that was intrinsically Willow, and she lavished that one firmness to her self-identity.

"Wow. I don't know why I been avoiding this place, Giles. It is so...nifty," said Willow.

"Ah. Yes. The plethora of books the Coven has is quite... impressive in this breadth and rarity. The Demonology section is right over there," Giles pointed to the far corner, "Just informational texts though. Nothing here about demonology creationism or anything on the darker side of things."

"All these spell books...they are all light magic?" Willow thumbed the spines of a few pale books on the nearby shelves.

"The only dark magic in the Coven, Willow, is the dark magic that is now apart of you. Anyway, carry on."

Willow looked up at Giles old, cracked face. He was staring at her, with narrowed eyes, like she was a specimen in a laboratory. She would have been insulted by the look, if it didn't have merit. She was, in fact, thinking about how she could suck the magic right out of this enclave of light-magic spell books. How that probably would negate the dark magic that was inside. But she knew sucking out another entity's power wasn't exactly kosher by the Coven's standards. Or Giles'.

"Okay. Let's get crackin' with the books. A book crackin'," Willow said, heading to the demonology section. She lurked over the shelves, unsure which text to grab, "So, what exactly am I looking for?"

"A vampire. There is a vampire in Silas that is basing her upcoming apocalypse on something old, something very old."

"A vampire? What's their name?"

"Carmilla."