Herbert Garrison, a teacher at South Park Elementary, was sitting outdoors in the park on his lunch break. He was enjoying a liverwurst sandwich. In the distance, he saw a dog. The dog crept slowly and steadily toward him, simultaneously curious and shy. As it came closer he could see that the dog's fur was sparse, as if it had mange, except for behind its ears and under its nose. The top of its head was completely bald. Its paws were very large, almost like human feet, with gnarly toes that wrapped around worn-looking, green flip-flops.
"Oh look, a little doggie!" Garrison called out to only himself and the dog. "What is your name little dog?"
"Spaghetti," the dog replied, tilting its head ever so slightly as it spoke.
Garrison glanced around to see if there was anyone else who had spoken, but there was only the dog. "D… did you say your name was Spaghetti?" Garrison asked when he had recovered from the shock sufficiently to speak.
"Yeah, Spaghetti. That's my name," the dog replied.
"You can talk!" Garrison exclaimed.
"You can understand me!" Spaghetti added, now excited himself, his tail began to wag. "I traveled a long way without finding anyone I clicked with, until now."
"Where did you come from?" Garrison asked.
"New Jersey," Spaghetti explained. "I've run away from home because my father didn't want to have a sexual relationship with me."
Garrison's eyes grew wide with sympathy. "Oh, you poor thing!" he exclaimed.
Spaghetti had come close enough that Garrison could reach out and pet him. "I know this might sound unbelievable," Garrison said, "but I was abused the same way you were. My father never molested me or anything. I know your pain!"
Spaghetti licked Garrison's face and said, "I like you. You kind of remind me of my dad… in a good way."
"I like you too," said Garrison.
"I'm going to rape you," said Spaghetti.
"You can rape me any time you like," said Garrison, pulling Spaghetti into his arms.