Disclaimer: All character are the property of Stephaine Meyer. I just write my own versions.
*This story starts off when Edward and Bella come back from Italy in New Moon. This is about Bella trying to be with Edward again but knowing she has feelings for Jacob. Therefore Edward never asked Bella to marry him*
I woke up in the middle of the night with Edward in my bed. His arms were encased around me and my head rested on his chest. Even though he had come into my bedroom every night since we got back from Italy, it felt so surreal.
We never spoke when he'd come over. He would just watch me as I drifted to sleep.
I was grounded by my dad for the trip to save Edward and for the motorbikes, thanks to Jake. Charlie didn't blame Jacob at all but he was disappointed in me and furious with Edward.
I knew it would take some time and a lot of persuasion to be allowed to see Edward again. It didn't matter that I wasn't allowed to see Edward because he was here with me every night.
What mattered was why his presences didn't make my heart beat out of my chest. Butterflies usually flew around my stomach when Edward was around but it seems they've all weathered and died. His cold embrace was unsatisfying and made me wish I had the warmth from another, from Jacob.
Since Edward came back, I haven't seen or heard from Jacob. It's been over three weeks. I call, his not there. I leave a message, he doesn't return it. I try to go see him, Edward stops me. I wondered how much more of this I could take.
Having Edward back in my life was supposed to pull me out of my depression, make me happy again. I shouldn't need Jacob in my life anymore but all I could think of was him.
I thought about the way he smiles, the warmth of his skin, his unique ability to ease my pain and make me forget. I wish I could be all the things to him that he is for me but all I know how to do is hurt him.
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