TITLE: Speechless
AUTHOR: Ally K
EMAIL: sunshine_slayer@hotmail.com
ARCHIVE: Site in development, fanfiction.net, heliopolis alternative when up!
CATEGORY: S/J, POV, Romance
SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer, First Commandment
SEASON/SEQUEL: 6
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Sam contemplates her love life!
DISCLAIMER: None of this is mine; the actual story and idea is mine, but the characters and name etc, don't belong to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, I found this and thought why not post it! it's just drabble really of how Sam must have felt after Divide and Conquer Feedback would really be appreciated; did u love/hate it?
Speechless
There it was again, that annoying ticking noise my head seemed to create every time I put something off, reminding me I didn't have long left. Usually it comes every time we face a problem off world, when we're in another one of those life or death moments and I just hope that my luck will continue. I know that every time I hear that sound it could be the last thing I hear but it never stops it. Yet today, it is not my life that is at risk it is my.heart.damn that colonel for making me feel this way.
Damn him for making me feel this way, for making me have to make a decision and damn me for falling for him. Forbidden fruit, or whatever you call it in relationships, I just had to fall for the one person I'm not allowed to. Now he's made it worse, last night he finally said those three words I wanted to hear but there's those other three letters that keep on getting in the way. They're the reason why I didn't say what I felt in my heart, I didn't say them back even though my heart screamed them.
Now he thinks I don't care that all our "relationship", dare I call it that is nothing more than a fling, a mutual attraction when it could never be anything less than the strongest emotion that is love. I know it hurt him and I know that I shouldn't have run out on him instead of leaving it. Leaving him to think that I don't care. Now the tears fall rapidly down my cheeks and all I can think of are a thousand what ifs and every other way I could have handled the situation. Anything but what I did. It seems cruel that I can be so intelligent but not one of those brain cells has any sense. I guess I'm so used to thinking with my head that I forgotten that I can think with my heart. Am I that really that hard? Is that what the military does to you, or is it just me? He said it, so it's me. I drive them away; even turn them mad.yet he loves me. Maybe there's still hope.Jonas when crazy after I broke the relationship off. The thought that my rejection caused that haunts me.what if I've driven jack there now too..
Damn Jack, for saying he loved me. Damn this bloody ticking noise that remind me the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to make it right again. But what do I say.what will happen if I say the truth? Will that be the end of the team, will I have to change teams or resign. Can I give it up? Can I give up one dream for another?
Tick, tick.I know one thing, I can't stand this any longer. I have to make a decision; it's only fair.fair if only life was. If all was fair Jack wouldn't be my CO or I would have fallen for any other guy but it isn't.
Why does love have to be so hard, or is just me?
AUTHOR: Ally K
EMAIL: sunshine_slayer@hotmail.com
ARCHIVE: Site in development, fanfiction.net, heliopolis alternative when up!
CATEGORY: S/J, POV, Romance
SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer, First Commandment
SEASON/SEQUEL: 6
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Sam contemplates her love life!
DISCLAIMER: None of this is mine; the actual story and idea is mine, but the characters and name etc, don't belong to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, I found this and thought why not post it! it's just drabble really of how Sam must have felt after Divide and Conquer Feedback would really be appreciated; did u love/hate it?
Speechless
There it was again, that annoying ticking noise my head seemed to create every time I put something off, reminding me I didn't have long left. Usually it comes every time we face a problem off world, when we're in another one of those life or death moments and I just hope that my luck will continue. I know that every time I hear that sound it could be the last thing I hear but it never stops it. Yet today, it is not my life that is at risk it is my.heart.damn that colonel for making me feel this way.
Damn him for making me feel this way, for making me have to make a decision and damn me for falling for him. Forbidden fruit, or whatever you call it in relationships, I just had to fall for the one person I'm not allowed to. Now he's made it worse, last night he finally said those three words I wanted to hear but there's those other three letters that keep on getting in the way. They're the reason why I didn't say what I felt in my heart, I didn't say them back even though my heart screamed them.
Now he thinks I don't care that all our "relationship", dare I call it that is nothing more than a fling, a mutual attraction when it could never be anything less than the strongest emotion that is love. I know it hurt him and I know that I shouldn't have run out on him instead of leaving it. Leaving him to think that I don't care. Now the tears fall rapidly down my cheeks and all I can think of are a thousand what ifs and every other way I could have handled the situation. Anything but what I did. It seems cruel that I can be so intelligent but not one of those brain cells has any sense. I guess I'm so used to thinking with my head that I forgotten that I can think with my heart. Am I that really that hard? Is that what the military does to you, or is it just me? He said it, so it's me. I drive them away; even turn them mad.yet he loves me. Maybe there's still hope.Jonas when crazy after I broke the relationship off. The thought that my rejection caused that haunts me.what if I've driven jack there now too..
Damn Jack, for saying he loved me. Damn this bloody ticking noise that remind me the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to make it right again. But what do I say.what will happen if I say the truth? Will that be the end of the team, will I have to change teams or resign. Can I give it up? Can I give up one dream for another?
Tick, tick.I know one thing, I can't stand this any longer. I have to make a decision; it's only fair.fair if only life was. If all was fair Jack wouldn't be my CO or I would have fallen for any other guy but it isn't.
Why does love have to be so hard, or is just me?