Hello everybody !

So… CM has left SVU and won't be back for the 13th, huh? Well, I really hope the prod will at least at some point in the 13th season have a real farewell moment … seriously…

I couldn't stop thinking of this … how will Olivia react? What Elliot would say or do ? Here is my version, please take it as it is, a fanfic from an EO shipper, yes, but overall a fanfic about a goodbye, because SVU fans need to say goodbye to Elliot properly.

Reviews are welcome !

Olivia hadn't heard about him for months. The night after the shooting at the precinct, Elliot had declined Olivia's offer for a drink to talk about what happened. He had gone straight to home. She couldn't blame him, there was nothing to say about it, he shot a teenage girl. He killed a teenage girl. She tried to fill in his shoes, and even she witnessed the scene, she knew she would never be in his shoes.

He hadn't called the day after.

He hadn't called two days after.

He hadn't called one week after.

Then Cragen told her she would have to train newbies. She hadn't understood first. After few days she realized Elliot wouldn't come back soon. Of course there was an investigation, but …everything was confused. She needed her partner. She needed to talk to him about what happened. She had tried to call him, but he never returned her calls. Last time she called, Kathy answered he was not at home, that he had left town to rest and think. She could not reach him. That day Olivia bit her lip so hard, she didn't want tears to spread on her face.

Few months after, she was working with new colleagues. Munch and Fin were still there, but things had changed. She felt detached from everything, like nothing was real. But the body they had found two days ago was real, and her colleagues were impatient to put the perp behind bars.

She was exhausted. She tried to type her last notes in the record system when Cragen came to her.

Cragen: Olivia, you seem so tired. Go home, sleep, and come back tomorrow morning.

Olivia: No, Captain, thanks. I'm ok. I need a cup of coffee, that's all.

Fin: That would be your 20th for today.

Olivia: Wait, you count the cups of coffee I drink?

Fin: Well, for someone who said few years ago that drinking coffee is not a good idea, I think you drink a lot.

Olivia: Fin, could you mind your own business, please?

Cragen: I'm sorry Olivia, Fin's probably right, but you look terrible, so I tell you to go back home. I'm not really asking you.

Olivia felt determination in his voice, and she was too tired to fight. She stood up, turned her computer off and left without saying good bye.

Once at home, she threw her clothes off and made her a bath. She needed warm water to relax. Or a glass of wine. And music. Or holidays. Or…she was just tired, of everything. She wanted to disappear for some time, and be in a smooth world where emotions would not be felt. She needed a break, from her job, from her heart that has been bleeding for too long now. She was emotionally exhausted.

After her bath she wrapped herself in a very long towel, and went to her closet to decide which comfy outfit to wear. She chose a brown long sleeves top, and soft cream pants.

She opened a bottle of wine, put music on, and walked to her couched. She laid on it and started to relax. After few minutes she could hear music playing from far, but something was wrong in the melody. It took her few minutes to realize it was not the music. Someone was knocking at her door. She sat, grabbed the remote control and lowered the music. She stood up, and looked through the hole in the middle of the door. She jumped. Her heart jumped. She had to look twice to confirm. He was here. Elliot was behind her door. She swallowed and opened the door slowly. She could feel her heart racing. She wanted to yell at him, to slap him, to wrap him in her eyes. She felt tears and bit her inner cheek. She wanted to say something but as she opened her mouth, nothing came. He was there, standing in front of her.

Elliot: Hey!

He said nothing else for few seconds before adding: "Can I come in? I'd like to talk to you. I need to talk to you."

Olivia heard herself answer: "No"

Elliot didn't seem surprised she answered that.

Elliot: Liv, I know…I should have called, please, let me explain you, I have to talk to you, I have to apologize. Please. Let me in.

Olivia bit her lip but let him enter. She walked to the couch when she heard:

"Where can I put this?"

She turned to see Elliot carrying a large bouquet of red roses. Once again she wanted to say something but no word came out.

Elliot: I guess I let them in the sink with water, until you find a vase.

She still could not say a word.

Elliot went behind the counter, opened the tap and let the flowers with some water in the sink. He took his jacket off and put it on the counter before walking to her. She stopped him with a gesture. He understood she didn't want him to come closer to her.

Elliot: Olivia, I am sorry I haven't called. I am sorry you haven't heard a word from me these past months. I am sorry I haven't returned your calls.

Olivia yelled: YOU'RE "SORRY"? I…I….

She couldn't add a word. She felt tears flowing down her cheeks, and she could not stop them. She couldn't, it was too late, and she was tired of fighting and pushing every feeling away. Her heart was so heavy that eventually crying was the only thing that could relieve. Elliot walked towards her, and she tried to stop him again, but this time he didn't care.

She stepped back, still showing him with her gesture she didn't want him to come closer, but he came to her.

Olivia: No, no, no no no no no !

He grabbed her arm and pulled her against him. He firmly wrapped his arms around her and she gave up, she put her head on his shoulder. She cried so hard she couldn't stop. He whispered:

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Olivia. I never wanted to hurt you"

He let her cry few minutes, she needed time to calm down.

He could feel his shirt getting wet of tears, he could feel her whole body shaking against his, and he didn't know what to do to help her to calm down. He waited, holding her against him, a hand in the middle of her back, and another one in her hair. She had never let him be so close so long. Last time she had cried in his arms it was after Sonya's death, and she even didn't stay one minute long in his arms. She told him she was okay. She was always okay. She never let him be protective to her. Not his way. He felt that she calmed down and said once more:

"Liv…I…I am sorry. Can you let me explain you?"

She raised her head from his shoulder and wiped her tears.

Olivia: Yeah. For once you want to express yourself, I won't stop you from talking !

He smiled at her.

Olivia: But let me first put some fresh water on my face. Have a seat. Have a glass of wine, I just opened the bottle, and you know where glasses are.

She went to her bathroom.