Weiß Goes To A Shrink
Disclaimer: No, I don't own them. Why do I have to say that every time? Can't I wallow in pity in peace?
Therapist: Okay, you can call me Doc. Now, what are your names?
Yoji: Read our nametags. Let's get this over with soon, I need a smoke but the guys have forbidden me from smoking inside.
Doc: Alright then. I see we have 'The Great, Wonderful, Sexy Kudou Yoji' (Writes on notepad- Yoji, Self-absorbed?); 'The Technically Inclined But NOT Geeky Omi' (Writes on notepad- Omi, computer geek?); 'Please Look At Me Ran, I Don't Care If You're A Bastard Ken' (Writes on notepad- Ken, Gay? Flamboyantly gay?); and '*Glare* SHINE! Damn You Takatori, Aya and/or Ran'(Write on notepad- Aya/Ran, Vengeful? Identity crisis?) Well then, let's proceed, shall we?
Yoji: *Looking in mirror* Why not.
Omi: *Fingers moving like he's typing* Okay.
Ken: *Staring at Ran* So damn sexy. Fuck me Ran! Take me right here!
Ran: *Popping head off of Takatori action figure* Hn.
Ken: He speaks! *Swoons*
Doc: Okay, I'm going to hold up ink splotches. I want you all to tell me what you see. Remember, there is no wrong answer. *Holds up splotch*
Yoji: An irrestiable, incrediably sexy man.
Doc: Ummm, I'm afraid you're looking at a mirror.
Yoji: Your point?
Doc: Moving on, Omi?
Omi: A computer!
Doc: That's a...uhhh...interesting answer. Ken?
Ken: Ran's earring, which hangs from his ear. His very fine, delicate, suckable ear. Oh God, Ran! I want you so bad!
Doc: *Sweatdrop* And you Ran?
Ran: Blood. Takatori blood. Split by me.
Doc: Well then. Omi, Ken, and Ran, I want you to say the first words that comes to mind when you think of Yoji.
Omi: Concieted.
Ken: Sex-addict.
Ran: Useless.
Doc: Now, Yoji, Ken, and Ran with Omi.
Yoji: Under 18.
Ken: Computer geek.
Ran: TAKATORI!
Doc: Now Yoji, Omi, and Ken, what do you think of Ran?
Yoji: Icy.
Omi: Cold
Ken: Hot, sexy. Dammit Ran, I want you. Please, take me now! Fuck me hard baby!
Doc: Is he always like this?
Omi: No, we told him to restrain himself around other people. He's usually much worse. You get used to it after a while.
Doc: I guess that we just have Ken left.
Yoji: Hot-headed.
Omi: Clumsy.
Ran: Throaty. On second thought, bondage.
All: What?
Ran: *Evil glint in eye* Where's the nearest closet?
Doc: Out the door and to your left.
Ran: *Grabs Ken's hand and exits*
Ken: *Muffeled, as though he's in a closet* Yes! Oh, God yes! There!
The End
Author's Notes: If people want, I might add another chapter, but with Schwarz.
Disclaimer: No, I don't own them. Why do I have to say that every time? Can't I wallow in pity in peace?
Therapist: Okay, you can call me Doc. Now, what are your names?
Yoji: Read our nametags. Let's get this over with soon, I need a smoke but the guys have forbidden me from smoking inside.
Doc: Alright then. I see we have 'The Great, Wonderful, Sexy Kudou Yoji' (Writes on notepad- Yoji, Self-absorbed?); 'The Technically Inclined But NOT Geeky Omi' (Writes on notepad- Omi, computer geek?); 'Please Look At Me Ran, I Don't Care If You're A Bastard Ken' (Writes on notepad- Ken, Gay? Flamboyantly gay?); and '*Glare* SHINE! Damn You Takatori, Aya and/or Ran'(Write on notepad- Aya/Ran, Vengeful? Identity crisis?) Well then, let's proceed, shall we?
Yoji: *Looking in mirror* Why not.
Omi: *Fingers moving like he's typing* Okay.
Ken: *Staring at Ran* So damn sexy. Fuck me Ran! Take me right here!
Ran: *Popping head off of Takatori action figure* Hn.
Ken: He speaks! *Swoons*
Doc: Okay, I'm going to hold up ink splotches. I want you all to tell me what you see. Remember, there is no wrong answer. *Holds up splotch*
Yoji: An irrestiable, incrediably sexy man.
Doc: Ummm, I'm afraid you're looking at a mirror.
Yoji: Your point?
Doc: Moving on, Omi?
Omi: A computer!
Doc: That's a...uhhh...interesting answer. Ken?
Ken: Ran's earring, which hangs from his ear. His very fine, delicate, suckable ear. Oh God, Ran! I want you so bad!
Doc: *Sweatdrop* And you Ran?
Ran: Blood. Takatori blood. Split by me.
Doc: Well then. Omi, Ken, and Ran, I want you to say the first words that comes to mind when you think of Yoji.
Omi: Concieted.
Ken: Sex-addict.
Ran: Useless.
Doc: Now, Yoji, Ken, and Ran with Omi.
Yoji: Under 18.
Ken: Computer geek.
Ran: TAKATORI!
Doc: Now Yoji, Omi, and Ken, what do you think of Ran?
Yoji: Icy.
Omi: Cold
Ken: Hot, sexy. Dammit Ran, I want you. Please, take me now! Fuck me hard baby!
Doc: Is he always like this?
Omi: No, we told him to restrain himself around other people. He's usually much worse. You get used to it after a while.
Doc: I guess that we just have Ken left.
Yoji: Hot-headed.
Omi: Clumsy.
Ran: Throaty. On second thought, bondage.
All: What?
Ran: *Evil glint in eye* Where's the nearest closet?
Doc: Out the door and to your left.
Ran: *Grabs Ken's hand and exits*
Ken: *Muffeled, as though he's in a closet* Yes! Oh, God yes! There!
The End
Author's Notes: If people want, I might add another chapter, but with Schwarz.