Homecoming

"Why, Ennis! Please, come in," said Mrs. Twist answering the back door to the house.

"Thank ya, Ma'am," responded Ennis, glad to be out of the October chill. He took off his hat as he entered the kitchen. Things were the same, yet different, as he looked around the room. New coat of paint, new curtains it seemed, but the same table and chairs that he had sat at last year. Only a year ago, seems like more than that. Place looks better on the outside, too.

"Have a seat, dear. Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes, ma'am, surely would," Ennis answered quietly, taking the same seat as before.

Mrs. Twist set a cup in front of Ennis and sat down opposite him, same place as before. "So glad to see ya here, I'm glad ya remembered and came back. So, what brings ya up here? Still living around Riverton?"

"No, ma'am, not any more. Place I was workin' at folded and, well, ain't got a job, so I'm heading up to Billings to stay with my married daughter for a bit, look for work up there. Decided to come see ya, since it was on the way sorta and I may not get back this way fer a while."

"Good that ya did."

"Saw the truck with the Texas plates on it outside, and don't wanta intrude much on yer visitors."

"Ennis, you're not intrudin', ya never could" said Mrs. Twist. "That's Jack's truck, the one that…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta…"

"It's okay."

Ennis hesitated. "Um, ma'am, would ya mind if I… Well, what I mean is… I'd like to go over ta the cemetery and say good bye ta Jack. Know it's a big thing ta ask, but feel like I should say somethin ta him…" Ennis' voice trailed off.

Mrs. Twist gave him a sympathetic look, and was quiet for a bit. Then she started up. "Ennis, there's somethin' ya should know…"

"Well, if it isn't the famous Ennis del Mar, come back to visit us," said a scornful voice cutting her off. They both turned and saw Mr. Twist enter the room. Only now, he was in a wheelchair, his left leg missing from just above the knee. "Whatcha lookin' at, del Mar? Ain't ya ever seen a cripple before?"

"Uh, nothin'… I mean, yes, sir, I have. Didn't mean ta stare, sorry."

"Well, don't be, don't need yer sympathy. My own damn fault. Bought me a new tractor with some money from Jack last year, and the damn thing got away from me out mowing this Summer. Threw me off, ran over me, lost my leg. Ain't good for much these days. Whatcha doin' here? Lookin' for a handout?" He wheeled up to his usual spot at the kitchen table. Mrs. Twist got up and came back with a cup of coffee and placed it in front of him. As she did, she placed a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at her with what Ennis thought might be the beginnings of a slight smile. Must be imaginin' things, bein' here, with Jack all around me.

"Uh, no sir, wasn't that, I'm headin' up ta Montana ta find a job and…"

"Ya need a job, huh? Get fired?"

"Yes, sir, I mean, no sir. The place I was workin' at folded and I'm goin' up there ta stay with my daughter and her husband in Billings, look for work, heard things was better up there."

"Lot a that goin' around Wyomin'." He squinted at Ennis. "Ya and Jack, the two a ya was close, weren't ya, good friends, real good friends?"

Ennis blushed and looked down at his half-full coffee cup. Better than good, old man, but none a yer damn business, nobody's business but ours.

"Now, dear, you're embarrassin' our guest," chimed in Mrs. Twist quietly.

"Can see that! Well, whatdya say?" Mr. Twist demanded of Ennis.

Ennis looked up at him, and decided it was time after all to acknowledge his own worth in the eyes of Jack's pa. Owe it ta ya, Jack, time ta acknowledge ta someone what ya meant…still mean… ta me, tire irons be damned, this old man a yers can't hurt ya no more. "Sir, me 'n Jack was, close, very close, he was my best friend, what we had together most folks never find, I miss him every day, and I would give pret' near anythin' ta have him back again, even fer just a day."

Mrs. Twist gave a slight cough. Mr. Twist just stared at Ennis. Finally, he spoke. "What I thought about you and him. Anythin', huh? Ya give anythin'?" He drummed his fingers on the table.

"Yes, sir, 'most anythin'."

"Mmmm." Mr. Twist was silent for what seemed like minutes, the pendulum of the old banjo clock on the wall slowly ticking off the seconds, each sounding louder than the one before.

"Look here, what would ya say ta stayin' here and workin' the ranch fer the Winter? Need some good help, the fella we got here now hardly knows a hill a beans about workin' this place, always talkin about how he's gonna fix things up, then never finishin' hardly anythin', half the time he's drunk anyway, don't know why I let him stay here, prob'ly 'cause I can't get anyone else. Damn glad that other guy left, high-falutin' college guy, always lookin' down on ya, never wantin' ta get his hands dirty." Mr. Twist spat into his empty coffee cup.

Ennis looked like he'd swallowed his tongue.

"Well, say somethin'!"

"Sir, don't know what ta say. I mean, ya know how I felt… still feel... about Jack, and I know what ya think about that... him and me…"

"Del Mar, ya hardly know a thing about what I think. So I'll tell ya what I think. What I think is I need a good worker, and yer here, and ya look and sound like one, and ya need a job. And, ya tell me Jack still means a lot to ya. Outside a my grandson, you're the only one who's said that plain and simple right ta my face. Ya may not believe me, but I believe ya… and a part a me admires ya for pickin' such a hard road in life and stickin' to it, even after havin' us tell ya about Jack and knowin' how I feel about it." Mr. Twist leaned forward over the table. "So, ya want the job or not? Pay ya what I can now, not much mind ya, can't afford much, but can give ya some more when the stock goes ta market next Fall. Plus ya get room and board, all of Mrs. Twist's fine home cookin' that ya can eat. As ta the work out there," he nodded towards the barn and stables, "ya'll hafta sort it out with the other fella on yer own terms."

"Sir, I don't know what ta say. Know it was a dream of Jack's fer me ta come up here, asked me enough times," Ennis said slowly, thinking on how many times and how many times he turned down Jack and what it did to the both of them. Jack, time for me to try to do right by ya. "So, yes, sir, I'll take the job, be glad ta help ya like Jack wanted."

"Deal. Shake on it." They did. "Now, promise me this, del Mar," said Mr. Twist, not letting go of Ennis' hand as he started to pull away, "no matter what happens between ya with that other fella, you stay here."

"Deal, and I promise," said Ennis. Jack, I swear…

"Sir, got my horses in the trailer outside, need ta get 'em out and let 'm stretch. 'N where should I put my own stuff?" He stood up and picked up his hat, ready to go to work. I'll visit ya later, Jack, gotta get started here first.

"Ya can bunk down upstairs, coupla empty rooms up there, take whichever one ya want, ya know which one's Jack's from the last time. And seein' as how you're workin' and livin' here now, call me John, all this sirrin' reminds me a the Army."

"Thank ya, sir… John. Ya won't be sorry about havin' me here, also promise ya that."

"Dinner's at 6:00, don't be late," responded John. "Mind if we call ya Ennis?" he asked after that.

"Yes, sir,…uh, no sir, uh, John. That's fine with me. Ma'am," said Ennis nodding to Mrs. Twist, and headed out into the afternoon sunshine. Not all the warmth he felt came from the sun. Inside, he felt a warm glow spreading, happy that he could finally if belatedly help Jack keep his promise to his folks.

Mrs. Twist turned from the window, and looked at her husband. "John, don't know about this. Maybe we shoulda let him…"

"Best this way," John responded, nothing more to say about it.

Ennis turned Twister and JJ out into the corral next to the stables, and made sure they had water before hauling their tack inside. He finished and turned to leave when a slurred voice yelled at him from the other end of the stables. "What the hell's goin' on here? Who are ya? What ya doin' in here? Those yer horses in the corral? Who said ya could do that? Ya gotta move 'em back inta yer trailer and git." He turned and saw a hatted figure standing silhouetted in the double-doorway of the stables, hands on hips.

Ennis bristled at the tone of voice and the words. Must be that other ranch hand John warned me about. Not even 3:00 and he's already had too many. Don't' need ta take that from him, no more'n I would from any other ranch hand. Best ta let him know I ain't leavin', and just where he stands with me.

"First off, if ya got somethin' ta say ta me, ya don't yell from across the stables, ya come up and talk to me. Second, John done hired me, and I plan on stayin' on here no matter what ya say or do, made a promise ta him and Mrs. Twist which I aim on keepin', so ya best keep that in mind. Third, those are my horses and they're staying put right where they are. And fourth, ya best be quittin' the drinkin', 'cause there's work ta be done and I fer one don't wanta get hurt 'cause a some stupid mistake ya make 'cause a yer drinkin'," Ennis retorted, standing tall in the filtered light of the stables, hands on hips himself.

No response. Quiet. Dust swirled in the shafts of light coming through the planks of the barn.

Good. Ennis started forward, knowing his point was made, irritated and ready to push the other guy aside if he had to on his way out. The next words, spoken so quietly he hardly heard them, stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Friend, that's the most you've said to me in a month a Sundays."

No! Ennis heart rate skyrocketed, he suddenly felt dizzy and ready to drop, but stayed rooted in the same spot. Can't be…

"What, ain't you got nothin' ta say ta me?"

"But, but, but…" Ennis stuttered. His brain couldn't form the words.

A soft chuckle came from the other figure. "Ya always did like my butt best, Bud."

At that, Ennis's legs buckled. He fell to his knees on the floor of the barn and would have gone down all the way, but a pair of strong arms scooped him up and didn't let him fall further.

"Ennis… Whatcha doin' here? I dream about this every night. Oh, Ennis." He alternated between kissing Ennis' neck softly and nuzzling him. "You came."

Ennis groaned, his head swirling. "Jack…" he croaked out. "Yer dead, the postcard, Lureen, them ashes, yer daddy…" He felt those arms around him, smelled the unmistakable smells of Jack mixed in with the familiar odor of whiskey. It can't be, but it is, but how can it be? I must be goin' loco.

"Does this feel like I'm dead, Bud?" Jack licked his ear.

It didn't, and he wasn't It was all too much for Ennis. He wrapped his arms around Jack and sobbed. Fourteen months of grief and anger poured out of him and onto Jack's willing shoulders. "Sonofabitch, sonofabitch," was the only word he could muster over and over again. Jack couldn't help himself either, and he joined Ennis in crying. Fourteen months of grief and anger poured out of him and onto Ennis' heaving shoulders. Kneeling on the stable floor, they held each other tight, as they had for over twenty years in their hearts.

When Ennis got himself under control, he patted Jack on the back, and pulled away just a bit. "Let me look at ya." His fingers traced the edges of Jack's face, across some unfamiliar scars, down his neck.

And then he hauled off and slugged Jack, knocking him sprawling back onto the dirt floor of the stables, hard.

"Fuck all, Ennis! What ya go and do that for?"

Ennis jumped up. "Yeah, Jack fuckin' Twist! What ya mean showin' up here alive? Ya know what ya did ta me, what Hell I been through fer the last year and some? Do ya? Fourteen months a cryin' and not carin' about near everything, drinkin' myself ta sleep, wringin' it out over dreams a you and me up on Brokeback? Damn you! Then ya scare me half ta death again. Whatdya got ta say fer yerself, Twist, huh?" Ennis screamed at Jack, the veins in his forehead pulsing.

Jack just lay there, propped up on one elbow, his free hand massaging his aching right cheek and jaw, wiping some blood from the side of his mouth. "Deserved that from you, and more," he said mournfully. "Damn that hurts! Told you once I'd never let ya sucker-punch me again, and I just did. Serves me right."

"Damn straight about that," Ennis spat out.

"Wanta help me up? Hard gettin' up these days, 'n promise I won't hit you back." Jack extended a hand up. Ennis wanted to let him wallow in the dirt, but thought twice about it when the meaning of Jack's words hit him. He leaned over and took Jack's hand. Jack promptly yanked on it, catching Ennis off-balance. He landed with a thud on his side next to Jack, and Jack rolled over on top of him, pushing him flat on the dirt.

"Shit, Jack. Ow, that hurts!"

"Promised not ta hit you, never promised not to pull you down here." Jack grinned, and then planted a quick kiss on Ennis before resting his full weight on him and laying his head on Ennis' chest. Jack could hear his heart racing.

"Ya really are here, ain't ya, ya damned fool." Ennis closed his eyes and groaned. Hundreds of thoughts whirled around in his mind. The fella we got here hardly knows a hill a beans about workin' this place, always talkin about how he's gonna fix things up, then never finishin' anythin', half the time he's drunk anyway, don't know why I let him stay here… Damn glad that other guy left, high-falutin' college guy, always lookin' down on ya, never wantin' ta get his hands dirty … I miss him every day, and I would give pret' near anythin' ta have him back again, even fer just a day … Promise me this, no matter what happens between ya with that other fella, you stay.

"I gotta know, Jack, I gotta know what's goin' on. Yer kissin' me ain't gonna solve nothin', not this time." Ennis couldn't keep the traces of anger and bitterness from his voice. But he also couldn't keep the traces of wonder and happiness from it, either.

Jack sighed, and pushed off Ennis onto his elbows, with the rest of his weight still on a willing Ennis. "Let's go outside, sit a spell, and I'll tell you the whole thing."

They sat on the old wooden bench 'round back of the stables, facing West, away from the house and towards the fields and rolling lands of the Twist Ranch, butt touching butt, thigh touching thigh. Ennis had noticed Jack's limp as he led the way. His horses nickered at them from the corral right next to them. Jack lit two cigarettes at once, and handed one to Ennis. They each took a drag, exhaled, and looked at the other. Jack tried to smile, failed, and turned away. His headache came from more than the shots of whiskey he'd consumed earlier. He slowly started to speak.

"Me and Lureen had a big row after I got back from our trip last May. I was seein' red over what you'd said ta me, and what I'd said ta you. Ya gotta know, I'd never quit you, was just so mad at not bein' able ta see you for so long, I just lost it. 'm sorry for sayin' that, would take it back if I could."

"'m sorry too, Jack, fer sayin' what I did, fer blamin' ya, fer all them years of turnin' ya away. Let's not be plowin' through that field again, okay, darlin'? Been kickin' ourselves over that enough already."

Jack's heart literally skipped a beat. He called me darlin'! He's gonna forgive me! If I don't screw this up any more'n I have already.

"'kay." Jack took another drag on his cigarette and continued. "Where was it? Oh. It was early mornin'. I was sittin' at the kitchen table, and Lureen was standin' at the counter in her robe, arms folded. I was beat, had driven nearly a thousand miles overnight, 'n hadn't been home more'n ten minutes, when Lureen, she started harpin' on me about being' away so long and goin' so far, and you never havin' the courtesy to drive even part a the way, and the business needin' me especially now that her daddy was in the grave, and Bobby didn't do well on his last English test and never would get into the University if it weren't fer the Newsome name and money… Well, I just exploded. Told her what she could do with her Newsome name and her Newsome money and her Newsome business and her Newsome house. Told her she just could stick it all where the sun don't shine, 'cause I didn't really care no more about it or her, only two things I cared about was Bobby and you."

"Shit, ya didn't."

"Yep, I did." Jack smiled ruefully at the thought. "Well, she picked up a coffee mug outta the dishrack and threw it at me, landed right here." Jack pointed to the small scar above his left eyebrow. "Zigged when I shoulda zagged," he said with a chuckle, which frittered away slowly. "She started towards me and drew back her hand ta hit me, so I jumped up and grabbed her wrist and pushed her away from me. She fell over backwards, and came up and at me with her nails. Then it got real nasty. Guess we weren't so quiet about it, and next thing I know the cops is all over the place. Maria Theresa had called 'em, screamin' in Spanish that we were killin' each other. When all the shouting was over, so was our marriage. The cops let Lureen get dressed and then pushed her outta the house, corralled her in back, and stayed with me while I packed up my stuff and called a U-Haul place to bring over a truck with a towing bar, and even helped me put my stuff inta the truck and hitch up the pick-up. By that time Bobby'd come home from an overnight with friends, saw what was goin' on, and proceeded ta yell at Lureen, calling her a no-good mother and how he was glad I was finally leavin' her. And by the time them two was finished shouting, she and Bobby were finished too."

"She knows about us? She tell them others about us?"

"Yep on both counts, 'course with her own little twist on things, damn her again."

"Damn," Ennis groaned, putting his face in his hands, elbows on his knees.

"Don't I know it," said Jack running a hand over his face, feeling his scars. "Well, me 'n Bobby packed his stuff too, somehow it all fit inta the U-Haul, and hitched my truck to the back, and took off. Spent the first night at with some friends in Shamrock a ways up the road, Matt and Betsy Worthington. In the mornin', realized I had ta get to the bank and ta see my broker, close out my accounts before Lureen found out about 'em."

"What accounts?"

"My savings account and my stock account, my cow-and-calf-operation-with-Ennis accounts, the ones with my name and yers on 'em."

"My name?!" Ennis's jaw dropped. "Whatcha go 'n do a thing like that fer?"

"So's if anythin' happened ta me, you'd have a chance at that sweet life I always been talkin' about. Had a fair piece a change in there, too, over two-hundred grand in cash and stocks and bonds and such. The results of fifteen years a sellin' my soul ta the devil named LD and sellin' farm equipment to the good ranchers and farmers of Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas, and keepin' my earning's for myself. Made some good investments over the years with that dough. God knows Lureen didn't need it and didn't want it neither, said so more'n once. Be damned if I was gonna let her get her hands on it then."

Ennis could only stare. He couldn't comprehend having that much money.

"Made it ta the bank first thing, and met with the manager, friend a mine, least ways thought he was, and got me a cashier's check payable to you and me. All the time people were comin' and goin', starin' and whisperin'. When we stood ta shake hands, the manager told me what his wife had heard from her best friend who heard it from… you got the idea. The word all over Childress was that Jack Twist was queer, Jack Twist had beat up on his ever-sufferin' wife, Jack Twist was leavin' that lovely Newsome girl for his queer lover, Jack Twist was kidnappin' her boy 'n takin' him into that life of sin. No one even cared that Lureen was havin' an affair with one a the factory sales reps, had been for more'n four years. Manager then told me he was glad I was closin' my account, didn't wanta do business with me any more.

"Almost the same thing happened with my broker. Soon as I got the account switched over to a broker friend up in Casper, he told me he'd already heard some a the same stuff from his wife. He asked what part of it was true, and I told him. He looked me square in the eye, shook my hand, and told me he didn't care about the queer part, had a brother that was that way, and didn't believe the rest of it, but some folks would. Probably best I was leavin' town.

"So, got inta my truck and high-tailed it outta Childress. Had ta stop for gas at the self-serve on the edge of town. Checked the air pressure in the tires, fluid in the radiator, and went inside ta pay. 'bout halfway back ta Shamrock the truck started actin' funny. Pulled off the main road onta a side road, and found the right rear tire was flat. Someone had cut the valve stem while I was inside the station. Cussed up a storm as I dug out the spare, and started changin' the tire. Damn, mouth's getting dry from alla this talkin', head hurts, too."

"Never thought I'd hear that outta ya, mister talk-all-day. Here, lemme get ya some water. You're gonna need it ta dilute all that whisky." Ennis returned shortly from inside with a tin cup and filled it with water from the pump at the horse trough. Jack drank the whole thing and handed the empty cup back to Ennis with a "Thanks, friend." Their fingers touched as he handed off the cup. Ennis refilled the cup and sat down next to Jack, handing Jack the cup in the process. This time, Jack put the cup down on the other side of him, and their fingers stayed entwined, their hands resting on Jack's thigh. Jack continued slowly, his voice full of pain.

"Just had the tire off, hunched down beside my truck, when I heard another truck pull up. Fella came round the back a mine, asked if I needed some help. Told him I was much obliged, and could he help me rassle the spare onta the truck. He said sure, and reached for the tire. I heard something behind me, and turned around, and next thing I knowed I was on the ground 'n my head hurt so much I couldn't see straight. Some other guy had snuck around the front a my truck while the first guy distracted me. They laughed at me, hit me with somethin' hard enough to break my leg and my arm and do what you see up here, kicked me in the ribs and elsewhere down there, told me that's all what queers are good for, bein' punchin' bags for the good folk of Texas. Finally they just stopped and left givin' me a good-bye kick, heard their truck takin' off."

Ennis felt Jack's tears falling on his hand, which still held Jack's Ennis' own tears fell on his shirt.

"Know who done this ta ya?" Ennis asked. "'Cause if ya do, I'll take care of 'em."

"Naw, never saw 'em before, probably paid ta do it by someone I do know. Too late now ta do anythin', don't wanta stir the pot."

Jack continued on in a trembley voice.

"After a while, don't know how long, heard another truck or car stopping. Heard someone walkin' around the end of the truck, and I just curled up in a ball and begged whoever it was not ta hit me no more and ta go away and just let me die. The fella leaned down and touched me, and called me 'daddy'. It was Bobby, come lookin' fer me in Betsy's car, wanted me ta take him ta school ta get his things from his locker. God sent him, Ennis, made him my ministering angel, just like he sent you ta me. Bobby saved my life, reason why them other guys ran off. He got me inta the car and drove back ta our friends' place in Shamrock. They called their doctor, and he came over 'n patched me up best he could, set my arm and leg. Wanted ta put me in the hospital, but I was afraid."

"Ya coulda died, ya shoulda gone!"

"Just couldn't take that chance," Jack replied. "After that, decided ta let folks think I was dead, least ways until I could get outta Texas, so's those guys wouldn't come back ta finish the job. So Bobby, bless him, hugged me and left me there, drove back ta Childress, and made up some story for Lureen. She hardly batted an eye, damn her, just wanted ta know where ta view the body to be sure I was gone. So, she drove up ta Shamrock with Bobby, and the doctor and Matt showed her a body. She hardly glanced at it, said it was me, spat on it, signed the papers put in front a her without lookin' at 'em, and left."

"Who was it?"

"Don't know, some transient fella. The doctor and Matt went ta the morgue and ID'd a 'John Doe' as me, and had it taken to a mortuary. Face was done in from an accident of some kind, so hard ta recognize who he was. They had the body cremated that day, and sent the ashes ta Lureen. And ya know what happened to them after that. Day after the funeral, Bobby told Lureen that he was gonna take my things and my truck up to my folks, that she had no right to them, and he did. On the way he and Matt moved me ta his cousin's place in Colorado for a coupla months, ta recover. Had some surgery on my face and leg, did about the best they could do, used some a the money I saved. Once I felt better, came up here. Missed you by a week. Ain't left Lightnin' Flat since then"

Ennis was silent for a bit, reeling a bit from the whole thing. "Yer folks told me ya were dead," he finally said.

"When he brought up my stuff, Bobby told my folks ta be careful about anyone comin' around askin' about me. Might be sniffin around, wantin' to finish the job just in case. So, not knowin' you, they kept my secret. I got a wonderful kid, Ennis. Sure miss him. He's comin' up for Christmas, so you'll get ta meet him" if you stay, you will, won't you? "He didn't tell Lureen, but now he's 18, he's plannin' on bringin' alla his stuff with him and stay, finish high school up here and go to the University in Laramie."

"Lureen know you're alive?"

"Yeah, does now. Had ta tell her when it came ta filin' my taxes. She had a big hissy fit about it, but calmed down when I told her I'd divorce her up here and she could keep everythin' down there, so folks'd still think I was dead. Bobby says she's thinkin' a marryin' again, 'nother reason she didn't put up much of a real fuss. Divorce was final early this year. And don't worry, she ain't gonna tell anyone about me, too much at stake for her if she does."

Ennis thought for a minute, and decided to ask a question that needed to be asked, even if he trespassed on more ground than he'd rather right then. "Darlin'? Yer pa said some other guy was up here, too, gone now."

Jack sighed. "Damn! Speakin' a stupid…"

"There's more?"

Jack stuck out his tongue at Ennis, who feigned a nip at it but then turned serious. "Jack, ya don't hafta tell me if ya don't wanta." Yes, ya do, I gotta know.

Yes I do, ya gotta know. "Can't lie ta you any more, gotta get it all out. When I was ready ta come up here, I had no way a getting' here and couldn't take a chance on callin' Bobby or you, so I called Fred."

"Who?"

"Fred Tucker, a former real good friend a mine in Childress."

The truth dawned on Ennis. "It weren't the foreman's wife, it were the foreman," he stated flatly, but not removing his hand.

"Yeah, the foreman. He nearly fell off his chair when he heard my voice, swore him ta secrecy 'n asked him for a favor, drivin' me up here. He agreed right away, but without sayin' nothin' to me, he told his wife he'd never loved her and was divorcin' her to be with someone else. Least he had the smarts not ta tell her it was me. Anyways, he came and picked me up and brought me here. Then he told me what he'd done, and was stayin' with me like he talked about. I know I was wrong, Bud," Jack said, still holding tight to Ennis, "but by that time you'd been here and my folks had told you I was dead, and you'd found the shirts…" Jack's voiced hitched at that. "There was nothin' a you left here, and seemed the best way for you ta have a life, so I let him stay. He knew he'd always be second-best, but he stayed anyways."

"You and him…"

"Yeah, me and him, him and me, we… I let him… and he let me… Pretty quick figured out we both'd made a big mistake."

"Yer pa said he never liked him, he wasn't worth a lick around here."

"Once again my Daddy's right. He sure weren't no Ennis del Mar when it came ta ranchin', or ta anythin' else, for that matter!" Jack eased his left leg forward, wincing as he did. He gave Ennis a small smile after that, but didn't fool Ennis. That was the leg that wouldn't be right again.

"Fred wasn't worth a lick around here. Had all the book-learnin' and knew how ta boss people around, but couldn't rope a calf or staple wire or muck a stall ta save his life. And then Winter came in, and he bitched about the cold for months on end. Finally couldn't take it no more, and threw him out end a May. Last I heard, he was down in Colorado workin' on some dude ranch outside Estes Park."

"Ya told Lureen and ya told that Fred fella, but ya never told me," Ennis whispered, hurt. "Ya coulda called me. I woulda come fer ya. Why didn't ya call me, or write ta me?"

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry for that. It hurt me somethin' fierce not ta call you. You don't know how bad it got… well guess you do, dontcha? Picked up the phone lots a times, never finished dialing. At first I was afraid if I let you know, afraid them guys would somehow find out about you and hurt both a us. Finally I convinced myself it was better this way, like I said, if you thought I was dead, you had a chance at a real life, no hidin' away from everyone, not getting' hurt like… like me… like ya was always afraid a happenin'. My momma has raked me over the coals more'n once about that decision, among others."

Ennis tightened his grip on Jack's hand. "Ain't gotta life without ya, Cowboy. Ya damn fool rodeo fuck-up. Know I never told ya ta yer face, but ya gotta know… I… umm… I…"

"Yeah, I know," Jack squeezed back, "and I do too, ain't lettin' you go again." They leaned into each other for a good strong kiss. Afterwards, Jack put his other hand around Ennis', and talked into the three hands still lying on his thigh. "Can you ever forgive me? If you decide ta leave, I'll understand. After twenty years, I shoulda known ta trust you more'n anyone else, musta had my brains scrambled or somethin', 'cause I sure didn't think straight for a long time. Am now." Jack looked up at Ennis. "Please forgive me, Enn."

Ennis pondered all that Jack had said as he stared at the two strong calloused sun-browned hands cradling his. Just as much my doin' as his, always pushin' him away. Can't push him away again.

"Well, I did make yer dad a promise."

"Shit! What did the bastard make you promise, Ennis?" Jack asked irritated at his father for demanding anything from Ennis. "Whatever it is, you don't have to be beholdin' to him, I'll take care a that."

"Don't mind bein' beholdin' ta yer pa this one time. Promised him that no matter what happened between me and this limpin' drunk rodeo-fuck-up pretendin ta work here, that I'd stay on," Ennis replied.

Now it was Jack's turn to stare at Ennis, not sure he heard right what Ennis was saying, but hoping he had read correctly the real meaning behind the spoken words. Ennis helped him out.

"Took me a long time ta figure out what really was between us, and when I did it scared the livin' bejesus outta me, made me push ya away even further. When I lost ya, when I thought ya were dead…" Ennis stopped to take a deep breath and plunged on. "…I nearly died too. Then I saw the shirts in yer closet, and I knew what we had and what I'd lost."

Ennis put his other had on Jack's two hands, and turned to him, and spoke earnestly, saying the unspoken.

"Jack, I love ya. I know what the Bible says and people say about it, and what yer pa thinks about it, and know it could get the both of us killed some day like it did Earl, but I do love ya. Don't have ta forgive ya fer what ya done, I'm as much or more ta blame myself. It's the past, and we're gonna forget it, ain't gonna let it tell us what ta do now. So, bein' I'm a man a my word, I'm gonna keep the promise I made to yer pa, and I'm makin' the same promise to ya. I'm stayin' here. Lost ya once, ain't gonna take a chance on losin' ya again. Fer better or worse, yer stuck with me, I mean after all, somebody's gotta look after ya, take up where yer pa left off 'n teach ya how ta be a real rancher."

"And you think you're just the one ta do that, do you?"

"I do, I know so."

"Yeah, so do I." Jack paused. "Thank ya, Ennis, for lovin' me and stickin' with me after all I done ta you. Guess I need ta thank my dad, too. Think I been a bit hard on him, been too much like him fer my own sake this past year, and him losing his leg and all, yeah, maybe he's changin' a bit. "

"Ya can thank me later, Cowboy. Got some real good ideas on just how yer goin' ta do it, too."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Uh-huh. I do."

"There you go, sayin' those words again."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you did, Ennis del Mar, 'n I do too."

"And one other thing, Jack Twist."

"Yeah?"

"From now on, ya need anythin', ya call me, not some other guy, just the two of us from now on. Got that?"

"You bet, Babe, you bet."

They sealed the deal with another kiss, this time with both arms around each other. Afterwards, they enjoyed the sunset while holding hands, until they heard the loud clanging of the age-old call to dinner on a ranch.

"Best be gettin' in and cleanin' up for dinner. Dad don't take kindly ta havin' ta wait for his supper," said Jack. Ennis helped him up, and after a quick hug and kiss, they headed 'round the corner of the barn and walked hand-in-hand towards the house, not caring who saw them just then.

Mr. Twist let the kitchen curtain fall from his hand, and turned his wheelchair towards his wife. After closing the back door on her way in, she'd taken the roast out of the oven and was bringing it to the table on a platter. He reached onto his lap and set the fourth plate onto its proper place at the table, the same place Ennis had sat in just over a year ago. Smiling at his wife, he said, "Looks like someone else has come home ta stay, permanent-like."

The End