She looked up at him in awe, this impossible man with an impossible box. She couldn't quite understand what was going on, why would he invite her…? It was insane, but… She found her hand reaching forward and grasping the key he'd offered her. She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes, but she didn't know why… Why was she crying? This wasn't a sad moment, this was a happy one!
"I don't know why I'm crying."
"I do. Because this is the day! This is the day that everything begins!"
He's dancing around the ship, laughing. She doesn't think she's seen him this happy before. She's about to remind him about the Snowmen, and that Doctor Simeon, but before she can open her mouth to speak she feels something, something cold around her waist. She lets out a startled gasp as she's pulled backwards, barely even registering the sound of the key clattering to the floor where she'd dropped it.
She hears him speaking, calling out to that thing to let her go, but she isn't really concentrating on him. She's struggling, trying to get out of the icy grasp. But it's too strong, and they're still moving backwards. This can't be happening, she thinks. Everything was going to be so perfect. She'd finally found someone she could trust properly, a man at that, and she was going to go away with him in his box-ship. Everything was going to be perfect.
Suddenly, the ground isn't solid under her feet anymore. She feels a strange feeling in her stomach, an almost empty feeling, and she realizes what's happening. She's falling. They walked off the edge of that cloud. The cold wind is hitting her back, and she refuses to try to see below her. The Doctor will do something, he has to. She can just hear him screaming out her voice to her.
"Clara!"
She doesn't hit the cold ground. Instead, her eyes spring open and for a moment she's confused, so confused. She doesn't know where she is. She just knows that she was falling, falling, falling. Then she remembers. She's in her bed. In the TARDIS. She feels something, someone's hand is by her cheek. She looks up, her eyes blurry from the tears, and sees the Doctor. Of course it's the Doctor.
"Clara… It's alright, I promise. You're alright."
He's trying to comfort her. His thumb gently brushes the space under her eye, and she realizes that she's been crying. She tries to stop, she doesn't want him to feel anymore guilt, but she can't. She remembers everything. The pure terror, knowing that she's going to hit the ground but just not knowing when and the pain when she finally does hit the ground, the smash of her body against the icy cold ground.
For a while they stay like that, the Doctor whispering comforting words to her, and Clara trying to stop the tears from falling, and trying to keep the memories back. He taught her how to, of course. Taught her quite well, too. But when it's like this, after her dreams… She can never stop them after her dreams. It's too hard.
Eventually, she manages to calm down. Somehow the Doctor has changed position. He's no longer stroking her cheek softly, now he's sitting on her bed, and she finds that she's using his lap as a pillow. He doesn't seem to mind, and his hand has moved from her cheek to the crown of her head, but it's not stroking anymore. It's just there. Somehow, the mere prescence is still comforting, although she must admit that she misses the soothing sensation of his thumb stroking her cheek.
"It was that Christmas."
She doesn't know why she's telling him this, it's sort of how it's worked since Trenzalore though, and she's really not feeling up to going against tradition.
"In Victorian London. I was a barmaid, who was really a governess. I remember, you took me up to your cloud."
She's smiling slightly now, remembering the good parts of the dream.
"You gave me a key… You were going to let me travel with you."
She notices that he's looking at her with an expression of utmost interest, as if her story is the most important thing in the whole universe.
"But then… That ice governess came… She grabbed me, and dragged me out of the TARDIS…"
The smile's gone from her face now. She's silent for a while, closing her eyes tightly in an attempt to banish the fear that suddenly came over her with the memory. She quickly reminds herself that she's safe, in the TARDIS with the Doctor. The doors are all closed and there's no ice governess here. She opens her eyes again, hesitantly, and started to talk again.
"And… We fell… It was so cold, and I was so scared…"
Her voice shakes, and once it's clear that she's not going to continue, the Doctor pulls her closer to him, gently stroking her cheek again. He's talking again, speaking comforting words to her, and it's working better than before, because she's listening. Listening to the actual words and the emotion behind them.
"Oh, Clara, my impossible girl… I know, I know how scared you were. How scared you are. You always try to hide it from me, but I always know. I can't imagine how scared you were, or what you felt…"
He hesitates for a very long moment, as if he's considering saying something.
"Well, actually, I sort of can. I fell once, you know. It was one of my deaths. Not as bad as yours, though… Not quite. It was my fourth life, the one with the teeth and curls, do you remember him?" He waits for her to give small nod, before continuing, "I fell from a radio telescope, but it wasn't just a clumsy tripping over the scarf that did it. I saved the universe."
And with that, he's off. Telling her story after story, and before long her nightmare is long forgotten. Perhaps it's going to take a long time for her to heal properly. Perhaps she'll never heal properly. But as long as the Doctor is here, helping her through it, she thinks that she can cope.
A/N: Thanks for reading! I wrote this for the Whouffle Party on Tumblr, and I thought I might as well post it up here... If you liked it, please leave a comment! In fact, if you didn't like it please leave a comment anyway, constructive criticism helps!