Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters nor anything Harry Potter related. I don't earn money by writing this. No copyright infringement intended.
And then life happened
You know the times, when you think that everything goes as planned, everything is fine and couldn't be better and just in that moment, in the one tiny moment, you thought that for once you have everything under control? Well. I was at such a point. And then life happened.
Stupid, stupid life had to butt in and turn everything upside down. Maybe that's why I spent the past three mornings praying to the porcelain gods. Because currently everything was upside down. Just when all the hard work to make my world right paid off. Just then one thing had to tip the scale again and wreak havoc.
It was just like when I was a kid and met Severus and he told me that I was a witch. There went my – by my parents – carefully built life. Goodbye, Petunia, hello freak show, at least that's what my darling sister thought.
Or like the one time I realized I fell in love with James Potter. The one guy whose guts I hated more than anything else for how he treated others and of course various different reasons for which there was no space to list them all. Merlin, you wouldn't believe how confused I was. And sometimes still was.
I'm starting to sound a bit melodramatic, I know, but would you like to be in my situation, for Merlin's sake?
We just got married. Bloody hell, we were still in the honeymoon phase and should stay there for as long as humanly – and wizardingly – possible! I wanted us to stay there as long as possible! Merlin knew we needed some happiness in our lives.
As if this wouldn't be enough of a reason why this was the worst timing, Voldemort was still on the loose and did Merlin knew what to Merlin knew who. Sometimes one could really start to hate life. Just sometimes. Or a little bit more frequent, if it was necessary. Like just right now!
Just thinking about everything made me want to throw up again. Terrific. Bloody terrific. As if I hadn't hugged the toilet enough as it was. We were best friends by now. The only thing missing were matching bracelets. You know the ones I'm thinking about. If James knew how much time I spent with it, he would be jealous. But then again, the time he spent with Sirius should make me jealous, but after years of being with my husband I'm used to it. And I'm glad that he has such great friends he – and therefore I - can count on.
Perhaps I could borrow a time-turner. Just for the teensiest, tinsiest moment. Well. There goes another fantastic idea. Were there other ways to turn back time? I should know. But then again, if there was an easy way, why did nobody else do it?
I was thinking in circles. Maybe it would've been better if I attended the meeting today. At least than I'd have something other to think about than my not so tiny problem. But since I didn't go, I spent my evening slouching on our rotten couch, trying hard not to visit the loo again. We saw too much of each other as it were.
That's how James found me, when he came home. Of course, much later than expected. I would bet my good cauldron that he and Sirius hit a bar or something afterwards, gossiping like the nosy parkers they were. Now, another wife would probably be angry. But with James? Let's just say that he knew how to pacify me. And I knew from the beginning that I would've to share my husband, so I can't complain now, can I?
"Hello, lovely wife of mine!" See what I meant? How can you be mad at him if he greeted you like that, hm? Add the sweetest kisses to this, and you would be a goner to. Even after some years we spent together.
"Hi," I murmured back. I didn't have to grovel – at least not yet – so I cut the sweet crap for today, but I tried to not use the couch on my own, so my man could sit down, too. At least now I was still dainty enough so we could both fit. I didn't want to think about our situation a few months down the road.
"Sirius sends his best wishes and wants me to tell you that he missed you at the meeting. He said – and this is a direct quote – you brighten the room just by entering it. I don't know what was wrong with him, maybe it was just this time of the month or some spell went wrong." I tried to smile, but I didn't need a mirror to know that my smile looked more like a grimace than everything else. "Are you feeling better?" He watched me, frowning.
"A bit."
"Maybe I should make some chicken soup." James and cooking? Merlin, help us all. He managed to burn water. Twice. I wouldn't trust him to make me my favourite tea. Maybe we should invest in a microwave. So that I didn't have to cook all the time. And I knew for sure, that James and Sirius would be fascinated by it. It's like magic. "My mum always made it whenever one of us was sick." Chicken soup? From what I knew about James mum I knew that she liked to experiment. A lot. Even for a witch. So a common chicken soup if one of them wasn't feeling so well was a bit of a stretch.
"Maybe," I retorted, shrugging my shoulders. I'm not sure that chicken soup would solve our problems, but perhaps it was worth a shot?
I shuffled around, rearranging my feet under me without throwing James off the couch. It was harder than it looked, but in the end I managed to sit nearly cross-legged, with one foot under me, without anybody meeting the floor in a not so comfortable way.
"Did you eat something?" The worry was clear as day.
I didn't look up from my lap when I said, "Does pudding count?"
"No." I heard the slight laughter in his voice. As if it was my fault that I liked the dessert. And, Merlin and Morgana, why didn't it?
"Well, then you've got your answer right there."
"Do you want to visit the Mungo's?" He tried to get me to look him in the eyes by lifting my chin with his finger. Keyword being tried. Unsuccessfully, of course. So I continued to stare at the almost loose button of his button down. I didn't think it would survive another washing. "You are under the weather for too long for it to be the flu." He started stroking the inside of my wrist. Arse. He knew how he got me to do what he wanted, with just a few touches.
"I know. And no. I don't want to. They wouldn't tell me something I don't now already." I chanced a look at him. Major mistake. Even in the dimly lit room I could see the worry plainly written in his eyes and I felt the waterworks begin to start. Silly hormones.
"Lily, what's wrong?" Were should I begin?
Suddenly I couldn't sit next to him anymore. I had to move. Even if it was just like a caged tiger in a zoo, up and down the length of our sitting room.
"I'm pregnant." Way to blurt it just out, Lily! With trepidation I watched him freeze for a moment, before he obviously shook it off and got up. That's exactly what I feared. Him getting up and leaving. Without saying anything.
But his next words surprised me. "Come 'ere", he said and he opened his arms, a clear invitation for me to just step right into them. When I didn't react other than to stop my pacing, he took matters into his own arms, so to say, pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me.
"What are you doing?" My words were muffled by his shirt.
"You have to ask?" He sounded incredulous. "Means I'm doing a bad job." With this he tightened his hold on me, making me snuggle into him even more, and rested his chin on top of my head. "I'm hugging you." I heard the unspoken 'duh, silly' he didn't add. As if I didn't know that. Sometimes I just had to ask unnecessary questions, you know.
But how could he stay so calm? I expected him to rant and rant and rant. Or run. "I just told you I'm pregnant and you hug me?"
He jostled me a bit when he shrugged his shoulders. "You looked like you could use a hug. And blimey, I don't know how long I'll be able to get my arms around you." Trust me, I thought about the fact that in a few months I would probably resemble a beached whale, but did he have to throw it in my face? I tried to hit him, but since I was very reluctant to be hugged he pinned my arms to my sides in default. Maybe I could pinch his thigh?
"Potter, you-"
He didn't let me rant; he interrupted me before I could even start a warm up. "Did I not tell you not to use third person when talking about you?" If I could've done it, I would've cursed him into next week, but since, as I noticed before, he effectively pinned my arms to my body and therefore I couldn't reach my wand I settled for the next best thing.
"I hate you," I grumbled at him and I know that on every other day he would have ruffled my hair, just to mess with me.
"I know," he chuckled. I think he was crazy. There was no other way to explain his behaviour. "Everything is going to be ok," he grinned his trademark grin, "How soon can we tell Pad that he is going to be a Godfather?" Seriously? Definitely no pun intended, because it was waaaaayyy to over used. Why would I want to make the mutt my baby's godfather?
"You're impossible, you know that, right?"
He had the audacity to nod. "Yeah, but I love you. And our baby." Aaawww. Sometimes he knew what to say to make me almost swoon. Almost. As a matter of fact, at the moment it was a bit impossible to do so, since he had such a hold of me.
At least until his hands started to wander under my shirt. "Now is not the time to feel me up, you know."
"I'm not feeling you up. I'm just saying hi to baby Potter." See what I said? How can he be so adorably sweet? Not that I was ever allowed to talk about this in public because, you know, he had a reputation to uphold and all that jazz. As if anybody cared. Perhaps Sirius would tease him because that's what he always did. That's how their friendship worked.
"You're silly." What? I was simply stating the truth.
"But you love me." Somebody wipe this smirk off his face, please?
"Yes."
"Ditto." Sometimes you don't have to spell it out.
And with that he started mumbling quietly to himself about how he wanted it to be a bob, private Quidditch trainers, first brooms, the Marauder legacy, the map and Merlin knew what.
Now and then life tries to hinder your way, but I'm happy, that I can count on my crazy, crazy husband, to make it seem better again. Not everything was sunshine and daffodils but for now I felt content, that I told James about it and still lived to tell the tale. As much as our lives would be turned upside down in a few months, I knew that I wasn't alone in it. Even if there's nothing but danger out there in the world, I know that I can count on him.
The End.
