'Why am I here?' I wondered to myself as I watched the dancers as they worked the pole. 'A strip club Allen? Is this what you've become?' I asked myself. Maybe it was; all the success in the world couldn't fill this void. This emptiness I've felt since I was ten. I picked up my glass of *lean and took a sip. One dancer had my eye. Asian, tall, ripped with long hair cascading down his back like a black waterfall. He danced on the pole and I watched mesmerized as men and women alike threw money for him. The song ended and he, in his tiny boxers, picked up his clothes and tips and left the stage. I had a strong urge to own him; even if it was for a night. I sighed and finished my cup. I hailed one of the waitresses over and I ordered another drink.
When the waitress came back with my drink my guy came back on. This time his song was one I knew well, Next by The Weeknd. It was after all the ring tone for my boyfriend, Lavi. I watched him dance and a few times he caught my eye. At the end I flashed him a smile and his eyes widened in recognition. It was very hard to blend in with white hair. Not to mention my family owned half the businesses in town' including this club. I sighed as I got up and left the building. I had a life I needed to get back to.
Lavi had waited up for me. "Where've you been babe?" he questioned as he nonchalantly sipped his glass of wine. I watched him for a minute before getting a glass of water. Since when did I answer to Lavi Bookman? He folded his arms and gripped the stem of the wine glass tighter. I sipped my water and watched him. I was growing tired of this. "Allen anwser me!" he said voice rising with every syllable. His one green eye sparkled with unshed tears. Why didn't I care? I set my glass on the counter and stretched.
"Why do you care where I've been?" I retorted looking at him. I noticed he was only wearing a pair of blue pajama pants. He had a nice body but not as nice as the Asian stripper.
"Why do I care?" he sputtered spilling wine on the floor, "Because you're my fiancé! I supposed to care."
Oh yeah, I was getting married in three months. It was nothing but a publicity stunt if you ask me. When he proposed in front of our friends, his family and my god-father two months ago I said yes because he was a good guy. He was funny and my first love. But this fairy tale was ending and it wasn't going to have a happy ending for either of us. "Are you happy, Lavi?" I asked him. He was caught off guard.
"Yes, Allen but what does that have to do with anything Allen?" he answered bewildered.
"Everything because while you're happy and ready to settle down, I'm not," I told him sadly. I wanted to be happy too.
"Then why'd you say yes?" Lavi asked hurt. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I cared for him but I didn't love him.
"It was what my god-father and your parents wanted. I'm a crowd pleaser or haven't you noticed that yet?" I answered truthfully. He stood there speechless. For the first time since I met him four years ago, Lavi Bookman had nothing to stay. I washed my glass and headed for the door. "Oh, before I forget, I was at the strip club," I said and walked to our bedroom. I heard the glass shatter and my only thought was; 'I hope he cleans up his mess.'
It had been two weeks since my fight with Lavi. The wedding was called off much to everybody's disappointment. Thankfully, Lavi was very vague about the reason why. Even after everything he'd hate for people to think any of this was his fault. Appearances were everything to the people in our circle; everyone but me. I didn't care. I walked into the dimly lit building. Next was once again playing but this time instead of on a stage with people staring at him, my dancer was dancing and singing along as he wiped down the tables and chairs. I watched him in silence till the music faded. "Encore, encore," I said as I clapped my hands moving towards him. He jumped and I smirked; I loved scaring people. He glared at me.
"Don't you have a job to do or a fiancé to bother?" he questioned leaning on the glossy black table he just finished wiping.
"No fiancé and I don't work on Thursdays. It's kinda like my tribute to The Weeknd," I answered him with a small smile.
"Did the red head finally get tired of you?" he asked putting his hands in the air and stretching. His shirt rode up a bit exposing the taunt abdomen beneath it.
"More like I finally came to my senses. I didn't want to get married for the wrong reasons," I said sadly.
"I don't care and unlike you, Moyashi, I have work to do," he said coldly pushing himself off the table and wiping down another.
"You don't have to work today. I'm your boss remember," I told his back. His back stiffened.
"Don't remind me, Moyashi. Besides this is only temporary," he said brusquely as he spread his arms out.
"Nicknames already?" I teased. He looked at me like I was stupid. "Which reminds me, what's your name?" I asked grabbing his wrist and spinning him around to face me. He growled in my ear annoyed.
"Kanda," he spat wrenching his hand out of mine. I sat on one of the couches and took out a packet. I emptied the white contents on the black table top and pulled out my wallet. I took out one of my credit cards. I started putting the white substance into a long thin horizontal line. Kanda finished all the tables just as I finished making my line. He watched in fascination as I took out a hundred dollar bill and rolled it up.
I watched him watch me. Just as I was about to snort my line of cocaine he split my line in two using his finger. "Who knew that the heir of the Black Oder was a drug addict," he mused as he dusted off the powdery substance off his finger.
"Anybody who asked," I told him.
"Did your ex know?" Kanda asked as he took a seat next to me. I gave him my rolled bill.
"He had his suspicions but he never asked so he never knew the truth," I told him as I rolled a bill for myself, "on three?" I questioned. He nodded and I counted to three. We each did our lines and sat back when we were done. The rush was amazing. I hoped I never came down from my high. I turned to the gorgeous guy next to me. His eyes were closed and he had a serene look on his face. I wanted to capture the moment and keep it forever. Quickly and quietly I pulled out my cell phone and took a picture of him. I drank in his features; pale complexion, slanted dark blue eyes, and slim figure. The light green oversized sweater slipped off his shoulder a bit exposing more pale skin. The faded, ripped skinny blue jeans that hung low on his bony hips. I was mesmerized.
"See something you like?" Kanda asked with a slight smirk on his face.
"Yes," I breathed inching closer to him. I tilted his chin upwards so that I could look into his eyes, "how old are you, Kanda?"
"Old enough and would you stop touching me?" he asked jerking away from me. God he was so defensive.
"I don't like that answer," I told him playing with his hair. He glared at me.
"Twenty," he growled narrowing his eyes. Man he was a cutie. I smiled and ran my hand through his ponytail.
"I feel like a perv. I'm twenty-three," I said leaning back on the soft couch.
He snorted and turned to me, "You're a lot younger than half the men and women that come here. A lot younger than half the men I sleep with."
"Why do you sleep with them?" I asked.
"The money that's my motive," he mumbled looking down. I fell quiet. All my life I was pampered I didn't have to work for anything it was always given to me no questions asked. Kanda snorted, "I'm not poor, fool. I decided to put myself through school and I'm a good dancer so I decided to do this. This is my choice," he told me before getting up, "now if you'll excuse me I have to get ready for tonight." I laughed till I fell off the couch and lay on the ground clutching my side. This kid was funny as hell. Maybe I was high or maybe I really liked this kid but I sat on the floor laughing and talking to myself for the next hour.
That was how Lenalee found me when she came to open up the place. She was the manager and one of the three bartenders at the club. She raised a delicate eyebrow and stretched out an arm to me. I took it and pulled myself up. "Are you too high for a joint? I got some fresh Arizona here," she asked with a smile as she pushed the black rectangular glasses further up her nose.
"Pass it here woman," I told her grinning. She handed me a rolled joint and a neon green lighter. We sat on the couch and smoked. Soon I was as high as a kite. The main lights were off and the multi-coloured ones were on.
"What in Christ's name are you two doing?" A voice growled. Lenalee and I looked up. Kanda stood in the doorway to the backroom in what could only be described as school boy uniform. Black shorts, white shirt, blue and red plaid tie, black shoes and knee high white socks. His hair was tied in a low ponytail with a red ribbon.
"You look adorable, Yuu," Lenalee cooed. Kanda sighed as he stalked over to us, "what song is for that outfit? I can't remember."
"The Thursday and Rolling Stone mash up," he answered.
"When is your day off?" I asked suddenly. Kanda narrowed his eyes and glared at me.
"It's Sunday. Why are you interested in my little baby?" Lenalee answered. Strange enough, Kanda didn't glare at her, he just looked mildly annoyed.
"What if I am, Lena? I think he's such a cute," I said pulling him into my lap. I tuned out the string of curses coming from his pretty mouth.
"He's like a lion you know. Cute but be careful he bites even when fed," Lenalee said giggling. She still had so much energy. I was really sleepy but I felt like if I slept I'd die.
Kanda got off my lap and walked away. The club was open and people streamed in. Soon the club was full. The noise in the room was getting on my nerves. I wanted to find Kanda and run away. Maybe smoke some weed and play the piano or something like that but Kanda was a beast that much I knew, he didn't want to be with me. I wanted him badly though. I got up from my seat and went backstage. The place was hot and packed with men and women getting ready to perform. I found Kanda fairly easy. He was sitting alone smoking a joint and watching the people around him. Was this his normal behaviour? Cold and distant and always on the defense waiting to attack? I was drawn it. "What the hell do you major in?" I questioned after I made my way to him. He looked at me with cold, calculating eyes. He didn't answer me instead he blew a perfect smoke ring in my face. Where was the guy from earlier? The one that actually had a conversation with me. "Do you want to go see a movie on Sunday?" I tried again. He stood up and walked out the room. I rubbed my temples as I followed him out the room.
I took a seat at the bar and watched him perform. I hailed Lenalee over. "What's up?" she asked wiping the inside of a glass.
"Where does your little baby live?" I asked smiling up at her. She laughed in my face and shook her head 'no'. I sighed, 'Why won't you tell me?"
"He doesn't like people knowing where he lives. If he won't tell you then there's probably a reason for it," Lenalee said wisely.
"Do you see that little beast out there? He doesn't have a reason for half the crap he does. Even I can see that it's either his way or the highway and I haven't know him for very long," I half yelled gesturing to the stage where said beast was dancing in only his boxers and the school boy shirt.
"You have a point but Yuu a little shy ok. Plus he's just a kid," Lenalee tried to reason. I snorted as I watched said 'kid' shake his hips for the lusty men and women in the audience.
"I'm not high enough for this," I told her annoyed. I got up and watched Kanda. He watched me and I turned and walked out the building. What was the point of staying in a place that I wasn't wanted?
A whole month passed before I went back to the strip club; this time out of necessity. My Godfather walked in the place and took a seat. "You're supposed to be helping me check the place out and see if everything is ok and running smoothly," I told him annoyed as I checked out the stage. It was still a nice glossy black.
"Allen, seriously give me a break. I just got back from England the last thing I want to do is be in strip club when no strippers are working," he said lighting yet another cigarette. Jeez was he trying to finish the pack within the hour? I ignored him as I checked over the bar stools and the counter. I heard the door creak open and I turned around. Kanda stood there holding a textbook in one hand and a coffee up in the other. His brown leather satchel slipped off his shoulder a bit as he glared at me. He walked over to the bar and set his things down on the counter. "Don't you see us here, miss?" my godfather asked irritated.
"I'm a guy and that's really not my problem," Kanda said venomously. He took his seat and opened his textbook.
"Why don't you study at home? Cross and I are evaluating the place," I told him calmly. Honestly, I didn't want to see Kanda ever again.
"Am I bothering you, Moyashi?" he asked not looking up from his book.
"Screw my godson, you're bothering me. What the hell are you doing here, kid?" Cross said putting out his cigarette.
"I work here and my shift starts soon," Kanda said picking up his coffee.
"Take the day off, Kanda," I told him sternly. He glared at me but I glared back, "save it. I'm in no mood for your childish behavior." I turned my back to him as I inspected the chairs.
"Fine, Moyashi," I heard him say. The door slammed shut a few seconds later.
"Idiot left his wallet here," I heard Cross say. I spun around so fast I was surprised I didn't give myself whiplash. I snatched it from his hand and stuffed it in my pocket.
"I'll see that he gets it," I told Cross before continuing with the inspection.
An hour later I was driving towards his apartment building a few blocks away from the strip club. He had a card with his phone numbers, address, email address and an emergency number on it inside his wallet. I parked my car and went inside the building. When I got to his apartment I knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a tired looking Kanda. He was dressed in an oversized sweater and slacks. "What do you want?" he asked leaning on the doorframe.
"Your wallet fell out your bag earlier. I'm just here to return it," I told him flatly as I handed it back to him. He took it and placed it in the pocket of his sweatshirt.
"Do you want to come in?" he asked through clenched teeth. I looked him up and down. Actually, yes I did want to go inside his apartment but it didn't look like he wanted me too.
"No, you look busy. I don't want to bother you," I told him ready to leave.
"I could use a distraction right about now," he mumbled looking down at his folded arms. I watched him standing there fidgeting and I smiled a bit. Was Yuu Kanda nervous? Where was the boy who blew smoke in my face instead of answering me? I walked in to his place and sat on his couch. The floor was littered with paper and books.
"Are you working on a project?" I asked as I looked at the mess on the ground. He sat next to me on the couch and pulled his feet up to his chest.
"No I'm studying for mid-terms," he said picking at invisible thread on his pants.
"I don't understand, Kanda. Why am here? A month ago you were happy to blow me off, what the hell changed?" I asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. He didn't answer me; instead he rested his head on my chest. I was confused. Why was he playing with me?
"You stopped coming to the club and I realized it was my fault. I pushed you away so much that you stopped chasing after me," he said quietly. I was glad he couldn't see my face because I was as red as a tomato.
"True, I did give up. I still like you though," I told him running my hand through his hair.
"Maybe we can take things slow," he mumbled tracing patterns on my leg.
"I'd like that," I told him with a huge smile plastered on my face. Maybe, just maybe I'd finally be happy. Finally, a chapter of my life would have a happy ending.
A/N: Kanda as a stripper, this is why I really shouldn't drink lean, and listen to The Weeknd. Review it if you want. This was done out of boredom late in the night under the influence of lean so sorry if anybody seems too ooc.