Disclaimer: Not mine, never has been, never will be.
A/N: I'm really bad in writing Sara's POV, but this idea didn't want to leave me alone. Nick wasn't supposed to be in this one, but the story would be too short if I didn't include him and it offered a good opportunity to write a sequel to "Loyalty" and forensicsfan asked so nicely if I could write a sequel and she has written so many great stories, I thought I could at least try to write a sequel. Hope you all like it.
Friendship N/S
Remembering
"It's funny the things that you remember and the things you don't."
It's late and I feel drained. Grissom just left and somehow I don't feel relieved, I feel like the weight pressing on me has become even heavier. I'm so tired that I don't even remember how much I have told him, but I'm sure it was not all. He can't carry my burden for me. I don't think he could, even if he wanted to, so I told him what was not forgotten, not what was remembered.
I remember so much more. I probably remember it all.
There are no filters in my brain, there are compartments. Compartments which can't be opened. Compartments which hold memories which will destroy what is left of me.
I close my eyes and try to fixate my thoughts on other events in my life. It isn't working, because everything is linked and the memories are rushing to the surface.
Someone knocks on my door, I'm relieved someone offers me a distraction, but afraid that that same someone will drag me back to my memories.
I contemplate not opening the door, letting him stand there all day, which I'm sure he will do if I won't open up.
I open the door and he smiles at me hesitantly and I realize he would carry my burdens for me if I wanted him to, if he could.
But I will not tell him, not today and probably never. He has to carry enough as it is. I refuse to destroy him just like I have destroyed myself.
We stare at each other until he steps forward and envelops me in a hug. I'm not crying. There are no tears left to cry.
"She didn't forget my name."
He doesn't say a word. He doesn't ask for an explanation. He makes me remember what wasn't forgotten. That he is still my friend.
I pick up the card which I retrieved out of my drawer as soon as Grissom left and show it to him.
"She didn't forget my name."
I read the words which I have been reading on so many nights when I thought my life was not worth living anymore.
"To Ms Sara Sidle"
"From Brenda"
END