Nobody Smiles

By: Karlene Ramirez

He sat still on the stage, sitting on a silver chair set in the center. In front of him, a podium, tall and white, made from marble, standing lonely with a stack of papers piled on top. The room around him was white; the floor, ceiling, and walls were nothing but white, and behind him, a small silver symbol on the wall. The symbol represents the group sitting in the center of the room - the group he was joining. They were buzzing, all eleven members talking amongst themselves.

The door along the back wall opened. A tall, dark man with long, spiked, white hair walked through the door and towards the stage. His footsteps echoed throughout the room as everyone went silent from his presence. He stood tall as he stepped up to the stage and took the podium. His name was Xemnas, the leader of Organization XIII.

"My organization, I am here today to speak to you about our future. Today I am proud to announce our final member… Roxas." He extended his arm to Roxas, as if guiding everyone's focus to him. Roxas looked up as his name was called and looked to the back of the room. He refused to make eye contact with anyone; afraid of the reactions the old members would take with him.

They all clapped their hands without much enthusiasm. Roxas looked down to the floor. He took a deep breath and sighed. "With Roxas, we are now a full team of thirteen, ready to take our next step into Kingdom Hearts…" Xemnas continued to explain the future plans for Organization XIII, but Roxas didn't pay attention. He kept his gaze on the floor, wondering what he was doing there.

It all happened so fast; Xemnas finding him, giving him his name, and taking him here. Before that, he has no memory of who he is or what happened in his past. All Roxas knew was that he could summon two sword-like weapons, and that something inside of him felt as if it was missing… what it was, he couldn't figure it out.

He decided to look into the crowd as he knew that no one was paying attention to him. He didn't move his head, but shifted his eyes up. He skimmed the room, taking a careful look at each and every member. They were all dressed in long duster jackets, zipped up to the top and then half way zipped up from the bottom. The jacket had a hood and silver pieces set around the neck line. Each wore knee-high boots with a small, white strip around the top. Roxas was wearing the same thing, and so was Xemnas. Their dark clothing contrasted with the bright room. The only thing that separated their appearance was their outrageous hair and facial styles.

Each member held themselves differently. Some of their faces were emotionless, almost as if there was no true meaning to life. Some smirked with a devilish grin, taking in every word Xemnas spoke with rage. But there were two that stood out, two members that caught Roxas's brilliant, blue eyes. They sat side by side, leaning in to one another. They whispered to each other, laughing softly every few seconds.

One had short, blond hair, styled like a mullet. His smile was unlike everyone around him, more childlike and innocent, rather than the usual devilish or unemotional. He had a movement about him, like a rhythm of a song was always surrounding him, and his body was always moving to the beat. He giggled as the other member whispered something into his ear.

The other had perfectly spiked-up red hair. Under each of his eyes he had small black triangle markings, causing his eyes to be hard to ignore. His smile was different from the others, but unlike the blond boy, his grin was more of enjoyment and playfulness. There was something appealing about him - almost relaxed and carefree.

Roxas couldn't seem to keep his eyes away from them. Their differences made them harder to stay away from, drawing Roxas into their happy-go-lucky nature. He didn't realize that he had lifted his head up, staring directly at them.

"Hey, Axel, I think the new kid is staring at us," whispered the blond boy.

Axel altered his view to Roxas, catching him gazing at them in deep thought. "What do you think he wants, Demyx?"

"Who knows? Whatever it is, he seems to be really interested in us." Axel turned his head sharply and met with Roxas's gaze. He smirked and waved sympathetically at him. The sudden movement caught Roxas off guard. When Axel gestured at him, Roxas flinched, as if getting caught doing something bad. He quickly moved his gaze back at the floor.

Axel and Demyx sniggered at Roxas's reaction. "I wonder what's wrong with him?" asked Demyx. "He seems so depressed."

"He's just a kid," replied Axel, "who knows why he's acting that way? He's probably uncomfortable, like we were when we first joined. He'll be fine once he gets to know us all better."

"Still, Xemnas did recruit him rather quickly. He's never announced a new member so hastily before."

"That is true, and have you noticed that someone is missing?"

"Who?" asked Demyx, looking around the room.

"Naminé. She's normally at these meetings, but not today. I haven't seen her in days."

Demyx shrugged his shoulders. "If the two of you don't stop talking, I may have to take you out of the Organization permanently," said Saïx, sitting in front of them, with his long, blue hair, and a large X mark across the center of his face.

Demyx rolled his eyes, while Axel crossed his arms over his chest. He shrugged down into his seat, but couldn't pay attention to Xemnas. Instead, he found himself staring at Roxas, who had his eyes planted on the floor. Axel knew that no one, beside himself and Demyx, ever seemed to be happy or delightful, but there was something about Roxas's appearance that made him question.…

What was Roxas thinking?

Five of the members sat around in the small, white room. Axel and Demyx sat in a corner, playing chess on a small white table and silver metallic chairs. Across from them was a man reading a small blue book. Zexion moved his shoulder length sliver hair to the side, trying to get a better look at the book. Sitting beside him was Luxord, a tall, almost dashing man, with platinum blond short hair and a short, shaved bread and moustache. He played a game of war with Larxene, the only female of the group. He had short, blond, almost perfectly yellow hair, with two pieces sticking up in the front.

"Checkmate," said Axel.

"What?!" screamed Demyx. "This isn't fair. I never win." He looked as if he was going to cry like a child, but Axel patted him on the back, setting up the pieces again to give Demyx a tenth try.

Demyx moved first, with Axel moving quickly after him. Axel wasn't paying too much attention to the game, knowing no matter how much Demyx tried, he would still win. Instead he had Roxas in his mind. He couldn't get him off his mind, still wondering what the kid was thinking. "Hey, Demyx, I haven't seen Roxas around since the meeting."

Demyx moved another piece. Axel moved another piece without hesitation. "He's been in his room," responded Demyx, staring at every chess piece carefully, "Xemnas left me to check up on him every so often. He hasn't even eaten the food I bring him. The few times he has opened the door, he looked so sad."

"What's wrong with that kid? He doesn't smile."

"So," said Larxene, "he's a Nobody; he has no heart, which means he has no emotions."

"And?" responded Axel, "I smile. Demyx smiles. Just because we have no hearts and have no 'emotions,' doesn't mean we cannot smile."

"Your smiles are fake and false," answered Zexion, "you have been fooling yourselves with your smiles. They are not real, and for that there is no reason for anyone to smile."

Demyx moved another piece, and Axel moved his before shooting up and screaming at Zexion. "What are you trying to say? That all our senses of happiness, sadness, or anger are all false?"

Zexion looked up from his book and straight into Axel's eyes, "Yes."

Axel shrieked in frustration. Without warning he created a small ball of fire and threw it to Zexion. As the ball of fire flew to Zexion, a large, human-sized playing card shielded him. The card dissolved the flames and disappeared.

"Axel," said Luxord, "control yourself. You know that is all true. You have known since you first came here that all forms of emotions are false, nothing we feel is true. It's the reason we are all here."

He grunted and sat back down. Although he was still aggravated, Axel knew it was all true. Without a heart, he was lying to himself. He didn't exist. He was a Nobody.

"Speak of the devil," said Zexion.

Suddenly the door opened, and in walked in Roxas. He was looking at the floor, but lifted his head to look into the room. "Um," he said dejectedly, "excuse me. Can one of you point to the kitchen, please?"

They all silently stared at Roxas, except for Demyx. He moved his chess piece and then stood up. "Here, I'll show you the way." He walked over to the door and started to leave with Roxas, but before he stepped out of the room, he looked over at Axel. "Checkmate."

Axel shook his head and looked down at the chessboard. He looked down in astonishment. Demyx won the game.

Everyone was asleep, except for Demyx and Axel. They sat in Demyx's room, wondering to themselves. Demyx laid down on his baby blue water bed, skimming through a book on marine life. Axel was sitting on Demyx's rolling chair, spinning in circles as he thought to himself. "Are you okay, Axel? You haven't been acting like yourself since this afternoon."

He stopped spinning by grabbing on to Demyx's white marble desk. "For some reason I can't get over it. I can't get over why Roxas seems so sad. I know that we are emotionless beings and that we don't officially exist, but I have never seen a Nobody so miserable."

"He didn't talk. When I took him to the kitchen he didn't talk. He looked down to the floor the whole time and sulked."

"He's thinking of something," said Axel, "but what, I can't put my finger on."

"Maybe something happened to his original body that he can't quite remember, or something like that."

"There has to be something more, something special about him. He's gotten too much special treatment compared to when the rest of us joined. There is something fishy about this whole thing, and I'm going to find out what that is." At that very moment, the electricity went out, and the room was blacker than their clothing. Demyx shrieked in fear.

"Shut up you baby," snapped Axel. He lit up the room with a small flame on his finger. He looked around to find Demyx curled up in his bed, squeezing a small dolphin doll.

All of a sudden, Axel heard a noise coming from the hallway. "Did you hear that?"

"No," answered Demyx, swiftly getting off the bed and standing next to Axel. Axel rolled his eyes, until he heard a door slam. Demyx grabbed Axel's arm as they heard small footsteps walking closer to their door. "Who is that?" asked Demyx frightfully.

"Like I would know… why don't we just find out?" Axel removed Demyx's grip as they gradually walked to the bedroom door. With each step they took, the louder the other footsteps got. As the sound reached the bedroom door, Axel reached for the doorknob.

The power returned, making the room bright again. As they peered around the room, the footsteps passed the bedroom door and started walking away. Axel opened the door to see Roxas in the distance, turning the corner at the end of the hall. "Was that Roxas?" asked Demyx.

"Yeah," answered Axel, raising a brow, "let's see where he is going." He blew out the fire on his finger and started after Roxas, with Demyx not far behind. They quietly walked to halls, as to not awake anyone in the rooms. As they reached the corner, they inched their heads to get a look before continuing. They found Roxas opening the front door, walking outside.

"He's running away!" whispered Axel. "We have to capture him." They started running to the door, but before they could get much distance, someone stopped them in their tracks.

There stood a small blond girl, holding a notebook in her hands. She was wearing a short white dress and white sandals. She looked up at Demyx and Axel, "Let him go." Her soft voice was peaceful, almost warming.

"What?" hollered Axel. "You can't let him escape. Xemnas will kill us if we do. Naminé, we have to stop him."

"He's not running away," she gently answered, "he just needs time to be alone. He needs time to think and find out who or why he is here. Let him be." She turned around and stared at the front door. Her delicate blue eyes appeared as if they were going to weep. She turned back to Demyx and Axel, "Please, don't follow him."

She walked away from the boys, entering the room beside them. Demyx and Axel gazed at each other with questioning expressions, neither of them knew what was going on, but both wanted to find out.

It had been quiet around the Organization home. Most members had been sent off to do missions, collecting hearts and controlling any newcoming Nobodies. Demyx was summoned to speak with Xemnas. He was sent to a small world, mostly consisting of markets and small towns to gather some information on a group of heartless taking over. Although he wished to go with someone, he was sent alone to search for information. His knees shook with fear; he hated going on missions that required him to fight or do anything frightful, but he couldn't object, so he went off alone, leaving Axel all by himself.

Axel sat in his room, filled with boredom. He was not to be sent on a mission, due to the fact he had just arrived from an earlier trip to Castle Oblivion, which he would later have to return due to some information he started gathering. He was hoping that Demyx wouldn't be sent to any missions, so that they would play another round of chess. It still bothered Axel that he had lost once to Demyx.

He decided to wander around the castle to see if he could find someone to bother. He yawned from boredom, finding no one in any room. He heard familiar footsteps walking toward the front of the castle. He decided to follow, hoping that some form of entertainment would be at the source of the noise. As he reached the footsteps, he saw Roxas stepping out of the castle once again, and Naminé standing behind the door watching him leave. She stood still, glowing along with the white walls, holding in her hands a large notebook and three color crayons: red, yellow, and black.

"Is he still running off?" asked Axel.

"I'm worried about him," answered Naminé. "He's been going out a lot more recently and he's been coming home later every time."

"So what? You said it yourself; he's looking for what he is… although the answer is quite clear."

"Is it?" She looked up at him and gazed into his eyes, "Is the answer that clear? Who are we? Nobodies, humans, animals, air, nothing? Can we really be named, or is there more?" She lifted her notebook and continued to finish a drawing. Axel looked down at the image. There were three figures drawn out, not clear enough to tell who they were, but he could tell they were members of the Organization.

She started to walk away, still drawing in her notebook as she entered her room. Before she closed the room door behind her she whispered one last thing to Axel, "He's on top of the tower in the center of the city."

Axel raised an eyebrow as Naminé shut the door behind her.

Roxas sat alone atop the tower as heavy, black clouds floated above him in the night sky. He looked down the tower, as if the answers to his questions were hidden underneath him. He was in such despair that the emptiness in his chest drove his mind in a loop. He needed to know what was missing and why.

You are a Nobody…

You do not exist…

You do not have emotions…

You are nothing…

These words echoed in his head. He didn't want to believe them, they couldn't be true, but nothing else seemed right. Nothing seemed to beg to differ.

He was frustrated, not able to handle his thoughts any longer. He screamed from aggravation, placing his arms over his head.

"Hey, you better control that anger or you may need some consoling." Roxas quickly looked behind him to find Axel standing there looking at him, confused. Roxas got up from the floor, "What do you want?"

"Was wondering where you were running to all these past nights." He walked over to Roxas and stood next to him, looking at the view of the city from the tower. "Nice view. I can see why you hang around here."

"The view has nothing to do with it."

Axel looked at him, nodding his head as a way to gather what to say next. "Then why come up here?"

"That's none of your business," Roxas answered, stomping away from him.

"Well, I'm making it my business. See, I don't like it when a member doesn't get along with the others. It makes us look unorganized, if you know what I mean."

"Why should I care? It's not like I'm important."

"Important? Who cares about being important? All that matters is that you are here, one of us, trying to find our hearts."

Roxas stopped and turned to Axel. He placed a hand over his chest and squeezed his coat.

Heart…

"What?" asked Axel. "You know what a heart is, right? It's the reason we are here, gathering hearts to enter Kingdom Hearts, so that we may exist once again." Roxas looked up at Axel. His eyes shined for the first time as small water drops started to fall from the sky.

Axel shivered as if the sudden rain was Roxas's fault.

We do not show emotions…

Expressions are false…

Fake…

Lies…

Nothing shown is real…

"Why the long face?"

Roxas's face hovered over his unbarring chest. He could no longer take his life… or what he thought was life. Without a heart, what was the point in this? He didn't know what a heart was, but he knew that it was more powerful than anything he could imagine, and without it, life felt pointless.

"Where is my heart? Why am I here? Who am I?" he screamed. The rain began to pour as he screamed harder. A loud roar of thunder and lightning struck behind them; lighting up the dark night sky.

"Look kid, I don't know the answers to those questions. None of us know who our original selves were, or why we were born the way we are. We just know that we were placed here, together."

"No! I want nothing to do with you, or anyone else! I must find my heart."

Axel hated the outburst from Roxas, and he wasn't going to take another. "Well if you don't want to be a Nobody, then how about I make you nothing." Axel released his circular weapons and started rushing after Roxas.

As he raised his weapon to strike, Roxas released his arsenal. Axel looked down in astonishment. Blocking him were two sword-like keys. "Keyblades…" he whispered.

Roxas pushed him away, sending Axel to the other side of the rooftop. Roxas stood up, placing the Keyblades to his side. "What did you call them?"

Axel stood up, feeling some pain from Roxas's blow. "What? You don't know the name of your own weapon?" Axel didn't need Roxas to respond. "They are Keyblades, the most powerful weapon… it unlocks anything… even hearts."

Nobodies do not exist…

Without hearts…

You can not live…

No heart, no life…

We are Nobodies…

Roxas let his weapons vanish, but didn't move. Axel stood up. The rain started to clear, falling slower by every passing minute. "I am a Nobody," said Roxas, "I do not have a heart. I do not exist. I do not show emotions and feel no guilt. I am nothing."

"No, you're something…. We maybe nobodies, but we are not nothing," responded Axel, "One day, we'll find our hearts, and when that day comes, we will be able to show our emotions once again, but for now, you should smile and get some practice for when that day does come true."

Roxas gazed at Axel. Axel smiled, nothing more, nothing less. "I don't think I ever introduced myself. Name's Axel, get it memorized."

He extended a hand as he walked up to Roxas. Roxas looked at his hand and wondered if there was a trick to all of this, but nothing seemed to lean toward that thought. "Roxas," he answered, shaking his hand.

Nobodies do not have emotions…

They do not show happiness…

Sadness…

Anger…

Or guilt…

"There you are," said a sudden voice, "I've been looking for you everywhere."

"Hey, Demyx," answered Axel, "What happened?"

"I just got back from my mission… thank goodness nothing bad happened, but I did get something for us to play with." He stepped to the side to show a barrel filled with bright red sunshine tomatoes. "I thought we could throw these at some heartless around town. They are nice and soft, and make a huge mess. It should be lots of fun."

Axel ran to the barrel, grabbing a tomato to test its juiciness. They were perfect for tossing. "Sounds like fun. Let's go!" Demyx grabbed one end of the barrel as Axel grabbed the other. Axel opened the portal of darkness, and they both turned to look at Roxas. "Want to come with?" asked Axel.

"Yeah, come on," encouraged Demyx, "it'll be fun." They both smiled at Roxas.

Roxas gawked at them both, thinking about the scheme they were about to pull. "Sure, why not?"

"Great," screamed Demyx. They all walked into the portal, which led them to the floor level of the tower.

"Hey, maybe it'll be a better idea to throw them at Marluxia as he's doing that flower twirl of his," suggested Axel.

"Oh, that sounds so much better," agreed Demyx with Roxas nodding along.

Suddenly, a tomato hit Demyx on the right side of his face. He lost is balance and fell over the barrel to the floor. Axel laughed, holding another tomato in his hand. "Gotcha." He laughed harder as Demyx tried to get off the floor, only to slip back to the floor on the tomato that had just hit him.

Axel laughed harder, falling to his knees from the stomach cramp he was getting. Roxas smiled, chuckling a little to himself. He placed his hand over his mouth as to not show the sudden change of expression, but it failed.

"Hey," said Demyx, "you smiled." Axel stopped laughing to look at the smile Roxas was trying to hide. He smiled, knowing that they were the cause of Roxas's change of mood. He grabbed another tomato and launched it at Roxas, only to have Roxas grab a tomato and attack back. The boys laughed as they wasted half the barrel having a red-juiced tomato war.

Naminé sat in her room. She placed the red crayon down on the table. "Finished!" She ripped the paper off the notebook and tapped it up on her wall. She glanced at it one more time, before walking away and going to bed.

Her lamp light shined on the freshly drawn image of Axel, Demyx, and Roxas standing side by side, holding hands with large bright smiles across their face.

Nobodies aren't meant…

To have emotions…

But nothing ever said…

That a Nobody…

Couldn't smile.