From the minute she walked through that door, I knew she was a dame destined for trouble. She had a smoking, sultry gaze that could melt all the snow off Mount Gagazet, and her not-so-subtle curves were barely disguised by that boxy brown suit. It took me a moment to make sure my mouth wasn't catching flies as I dropped my feet from my desk, sending a scatter of old files drifting to the floor like a bunch of withered old leaves. I stubbed out my cigarette and gestured to the worn chair in front of me.

"What can I do for you, Miss…?"

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at the exposed stuffing in the seat cushion before accepting my offer with a soft sigh.

"It's Boudreaux, and it's not me that needs the help, Mr. Drake." She began to reach into her purse, and a wave of dread wrenched through my gut. I leaned forward to rest my chin in one hand, while slowly reaching for the piece strapped beneath my desk.

I tugged lightly, but it didn't want to come loose. I could feel the sweat beading on my upper lip as I grew frantic, pulling as indiscreetly as possible. Suddenly, her hand came free from the confines of the bag, and with it she pulled…

/\//\//\//\

"And here I thought officials were supposed to be working on state affairs while they were in their offices…"

Baralai felt the feathery tickle of hair against his cheek as the speaker leaned past his shoulder and looked at the parchment that lay before him. He jumped forward and swept his papers in a wrinkled pile beneath his arms.

"Paine! I wasn't expecting you until later!" He laughed nervously and opened a drawer, making to shove the papers away. He was quickly intercepted by a gloved hand that latched onto the stack. A short tug-of-war ensued, resulting in a momentary truce between grips.

"What's that you've got here?"

"Nothing, just—uh—just some boring proposals about, um…"

She let out a hearty laugh "About 'not-so-subtle curves'? I don't believe it—the Praetor likes to write stories! And is this romance from the sound of it?" Paine released her hold on the papers and put her hands on her hips, continuing to chuckle.

His face was nearly the color of her eyes as he hurriedly put the papers away. "It's a mystery, not a romance…" He grumbled, attempting to put a stern look on his face. As Paine's own visage went deadpan, a smirk twitchingly crept its way through. "Alright, so perhaps it's a mystery with romantic elements…" He pushed his chair back from the table and twirled toward her in one fluid movement. "Besides…" He stood and leaned one hand against his chair, the other gesturing abstractly in front of him. "I'm merely wrapping things uhhhh—" The chair slid swiftly to the side, the soon-to-be-Ex-Praetor's hand still gripping its armrest. He fell to the floor about as gracefully as one could expect in such a matter.

Paine let out another throaty chuckle before extending her hand. "Fine. I'll be on the Redemption when you're ready to blow out of this place today." She turned toward the door, pausing to look halfway across her shoulder back at the flustered man (who was currently trying to preen his crest of platinum locks back into their former configuration). "You can even bring your manuscript along if you'd like."

He strode forward, witty comeback dancing along the edges of his consciousness, but she had already gone. Once again, he thought, you always seem to get the last word.

A/N: Wow…I haven't posted anything in a dog's age. Fluffernutter here! Fanficcer formerly known as midnightoasis, and recent college grad (wewt ). This lil' story was teasing my fancy, and I thought it'd be a fun way to try and get back into writing again. God knows I've missed it bunches. Okey doke, not sure if this vignette is something to continue or not, but feel free to let me know what ya think. :-)

heheh…anyone else love all the nutty similes and metaphors in really cheesy crime novels?

OMG...i AM rusty...totally forgot my disclaimer! Although I DO own FFX-2 (as well as pretty much every other title in the franchise, minus the redheaded stepchild known as Mystic Quest...no offense to any gingers, some of my best buddies have rosy locks), I only purchased the rights to play the game, so alas. the characters. ain't. mine. sho' nuff'.