What's hidden inside
This is my first attempt at a Sherlock (BBC) fanfic. I never dared to try before, mostly because I didn't think I would be able to capture the personalities of the characters. But here we go! I hope you like it, even if it's just a random conversation.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Of course he cares, I know he does. He just makes it so hard sometimes. Like so often before it all started with a remark from him. The problem was not the remark in itself, the problem was the context, or the timing. I could never really get a grasp on why he did it; sometimes I was sure it was because he didn't know better, but the next I could swear that I saw a little grin drawing at the corners of his lips. The worst part was that I never knew. What if he did it just to annoy me? The difference this time was that I refused to believe his innocent eyes and questioning tone.
"No. I won't fall for that again, you know perfectly well that it was a bad thing to say."
He saw the slight narrowing of the eyes, the slight straightening of the shoulders.
"Don't blame me, I didn't know." He said as he shrugged his shoulders and turned to go. But no. I wasn't going to leave it at that, this time I wanted to get to the bottom of his charade.
"Don't just walk away. Can you please answer honestly this time?"
"Answer what John? You haven't posed a question." This time I was sure that I saw a small grin touching the edges of his lips.
"Don't act stupid, you know exactly what I mean. Why do you pretend not to know how to act and what to say in social situations when you clearly do?"
"Why would I bother to act stupid when that clearly isn't the case?" Sherlock looked at me with a gaze consisting of equally big parts questioning and resentment. Resentment for my stupidity. Again. I sighted and prepared myself for what I knew was going to be a tedious and one-sided conversation.
"Sherlock, can we please not do this?
"Do what, John?"
"You. Making all attempts at a normal conversation impossible."
"I don't know what you are talking about. I am not doing anything."
"Of course you aren't." I had to take a couple of calming breaths as to not start screaming at the man. I decided to try a different road.
"We have talked about this kind of situations before, don't you remember those times?"
"No, I don't deem that kind of knowledge important enough to memorize." He looked bored and I hurriedly continued before something else could capture his interest and render him unavailable for the next hours, or days. I drew in a deep breath and decided that the best way was to just spit it out.
"Look, what I want to ask is... I have a feeling that you are pretending not to know how to behave just to annoy people." A sharp laughter almost interrupted me of before I had finished the sentence.
"Now you are jumping to conclusions without proof. I thought you knew better than that by now." I pretended not to have heard him. He always tried to make me feel flawed and insecure when he wanted me to stop. So I probed on.
"Or is it that you wan't people to correct you sometimes?"
"That's ridiculous!" He's eyes flashed sharp at me. Apparently I had found something.
"Is it?" I challenged.
"Yes, of course it is." he said, yet again calm. "When I grew up I didn't get to experience the... social situations most people do. I'm sorry if it's hard for you to accept but I do admit that I don't always know what's deemed as "socially acceptable" in situations." I immediately felt bad at his words and at the wounded look in his eyes. Just the fact that I had made Sherlock admit that he was flawed in some aspect was a victory. But not the sort I had hoped for. To be reminded of a hard past was never fun, something I knew well.
"I'm sorry." I turned my head down. Dammit. It wasn't supposed to end up like this. How could I have been so ignorant, and so suspicious of my friend?
"It's okay John." He awkwardly placed a hand on my shoulder but then quickly withdrew it. Hi's withdrawn hand left me alone in a state of self-loathing and disbelief at my own insensitiveness. I looked up at him when he turned to go and my thoughts stopped, I could have sworn I saw a smug smile tug at his mouth as he turned away.