Chapter 1-Lonely Day
Setting: Set after "Once More With Feeling" A/N: I changed some details like Buffy was never in heaven so her confession in Once more. never happened Summary: Dawn runs away. Buffy goes insane. guess who calms her down.
She was looking at her sister, the Slayer, laughing with her friends. She didn't know what they were laughing about. probably Xander's blunder with summoning that musical demon. She was there but she felt as though they didn't care. Ever since her mother died she felt as though the world had closed in on her. She felt like she didn't matter in the world. The only thing that made her feel like she was alive was her mother but now. her sister took her mother's place but a person cant change their spots. especially the Slayer. It seems now. like she was back in her original form- nothing. She watched her sister in sorrow wishing that she had friends that knew about the other world.yet. still be there for her. risk EVERYTHING to save her.
Buffy noticed her sister she looked so lost in thought. Frankly, she looked like hell, she thought. Ever since their mother died she hardly ever saw a smile from her except for the really fake ones she tries to pull. She looked so depressed. so sad. so lonely, she remarked. So much has happened lately. their mother dying, her dying. she couldn't blame her sister, she just wished she could see her happy again.
"Hey" Buffy came up to her sister. She could see her stiffen up, startled.
"Uh. hey" was her 'bright' and 'cheerful' response. don't forget the BIG, FAKE smile. Dawn didn't look directly into her sister's eyes because she knew that if she let herself be that exposed Buffy would see what has been happening to her- that she hasn't laughed in months. that the only feeling she feels is pain and emptiness. She avoided that gaze because she knew that her sister would see through her soul- that she wants no needs someone. someone who isn't stuck with her. some one who see her for who she was- Dawn. not Dawn, Buffy's sister. not Dawn, the Key, just something to protect or bleed to death. It were times like these that she wished she was back to her non-existing form, just to avoid feeling, just to have no memories. no memory of feeling so alone. so empty.
Then Buffy's voice jerked her back to reality "HEY!!!!!! EARTH TO DAWN!!!"
"Huh?" was her only response.
What's wrong with her? Buffy asked herself. Something must be wrong. She's not looking directly at me. "I was asking if you'd wanna go to the Bronze with us later on but you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear me. What's wrong? Is it a guy?" Buffy inquired. Of course its not a guy stupid.
Dawn chuckled at her sister's question- a guy. "Buffy, you're the only one in the world who thinks guys are something that's worth every single thought of yours. Take for example your souled vamp in LA. you're the only one who gives him the time of day." She said calmly as she stared coldly into her sister's eyes. Now that would get her off me.
What? How dare she bring Angel into this. "Don't bring him in this. And don't bring me into this." She ordered.
"But don't you like that Buffy? Don't you like the world revolving around YOU? I mean you make such a big deal about YOUR petty problems bringing everyone to how you feel." She stated as cold as before.
"That's cold, Dawn. This isn't you. Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?" Buffy replied hurt.
"What's wrong? What's wrong! Everything is wrong!!! Everything in my life is wrong." She said screaming.
"Everything?" Buffy asked confused.
"Are you deaf?" she asked coldly "I said everything. Everything is wrong in my life, but see YOU will NEVER see that, because you're Buffy the Slayer, the WHOLE world revolves around you. To you, just because you save this world on a freakin daily basis, you're the only entitled to feel happy, sad, angry, alone. I swear you're such a selfish person nothing is wrong with others because you think that you're all that, well guess what my life is crap right now. And you have no idea how I feel, I lost my own mother, I thought I found friends when you were gone. selfish isn't it but face the facts, their just doing this because of all the things you've done for them."
Buffy couldn't believe what her sister was telling her, she was depressed. And she thought she was actually doing well with Dawn, that was bull. How could I have been so blind? Spike, who else?
"C'mon Dawn, Xand, Will, Anya and Giles all love you." She tried aimlessly convincing her sister but it was pretty obvious what she just said fell on deaf ears.
"Cut the crap Buffy. I know and you know that their 'friendship', if you could even call it that is nothing because their only hanging out with poor little Dawnie because of all the things that has happened to her. Oh and don't forget that her sister happens to save their lives every night. I'm not dumb, Buffy, nor innocent, I'd rather join a cult than be with you. You know why? At least then I could die, go back to swirly ol' me and have no feelings, no recollection of how much hell you put me through." She said this calmly enunciating each word to emphasize how much she's loathing big sis'.
"Is that really what you want?" Buffy asked coldly, trying to calm herself down but failing. Get a grip this conversation wont go anywhere if you don't calm down. Screw that! I cant believe she's blaming me, I didn't do anything.
"You want to know what I want? I want to be away from you, you and your stuck up friends, from pain. I. Want. To. Be. AWAY. From. YOU. I want to be away from you and this hell hole we call SUNNYHELL!!" she screamed while tears started streaming down her face.
With that Buffy lost all control. "How dare you? I gave up practically everything to just to keep you and you throw this shit in my face. I think I'm starting to see who's the one that is self-centered here."
"Why don't you shut up! The only thing you gave up was your precious time, time that you'd gladly use jumping you two vampires. You do so much, as you keep on insisting, because you're the Slayer- its your duty, be good, care for others when really your just a narcissistic bitch probably worse than Cordelia at least she admitted it. YOU, you hide behind this mask where you're a good person, loving sister, holding the weight of the world on her shoulders. And don't forget the other reason you want to keep me because you feel guilty, and the 'almighty Buffy' shouldn't feel guilt because she's too good for that. You're guilty that your sister is stuck here with you and living a hell of a life because you're the Slayer and to cover that up you do all the sisterly things just to forget that you're the reason she's suffering right now. See Buffy, all your actions revolve around you." All this was said calm and coldly.
Then Buffy slapped her. "You're the narcissist Dawn. You should be more grateful for all the things I've done for you." Tears started to run down her face as she said this.
Dawn held the cheek that her sister just slapped, stared directly at her cold green eyes and said in a whisper "I hate you. Go to hell." eyes showing her feelings.
"Remember Dawn, I was already dead, then you resurrected me." Buffy proclaimed.
Dawn turned around and ran, ran away from everything that reminded her of anguish, Buffy. Looking at her reminded her of how her life is so bad, how she lost the one thing in this world that actually loved her, how she never got to connect with the people here, how her life was meaningless except for the fact where she brings hell and destruction to the world.
"Dawn!"
Setting: Set after "Once More With Feeling" A/N: I changed some details like Buffy was never in heaven so her confession in Once more. never happened Summary: Dawn runs away. Buffy goes insane. guess who calms her down.
She was looking at her sister, the Slayer, laughing with her friends. She didn't know what they were laughing about. probably Xander's blunder with summoning that musical demon. She was there but she felt as though they didn't care. Ever since her mother died she felt as though the world had closed in on her. She felt like she didn't matter in the world. The only thing that made her feel like she was alive was her mother but now. her sister took her mother's place but a person cant change their spots. especially the Slayer. It seems now. like she was back in her original form- nothing. She watched her sister in sorrow wishing that she had friends that knew about the other world.yet. still be there for her. risk EVERYTHING to save her.
Buffy noticed her sister she looked so lost in thought. Frankly, she looked like hell, she thought. Ever since their mother died she hardly ever saw a smile from her except for the really fake ones she tries to pull. She looked so depressed. so sad. so lonely, she remarked. So much has happened lately. their mother dying, her dying. she couldn't blame her sister, she just wished she could see her happy again.
"Hey" Buffy came up to her sister. She could see her stiffen up, startled.
"Uh. hey" was her 'bright' and 'cheerful' response. don't forget the BIG, FAKE smile. Dawn didn't look directly into her sister's eyes because she knew that if she let herself be that exposed Buffy would see what has been happening to her- that she hasn't laughed in months. that the only feeling she feels is pain and emptiness. She avoided that gaze because she knew that her sister would see through her soul- that she wants no needs someone. someone who isn't stuck with her. some one who see her for who she was- Dawn. not Dawn, Buffy's sister. not Dawn, the Key, just something to protect or bleed to death. It were times like these that she wished she was back to her non-existing form, just to avoid feeling, just to have no memories. no memory of feeling so alone. so empty.
Then Buffy's voice jerked her back to reality "HEY!!!!!! EARTH TO DAWN!!!"
"Huh?" was her only response.
What's wrong with her? Buffy asked herself. Something must be wrong. She's not looking directly at me. "I was asking if you'd wanna go to the Bronze with us later on but you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear me. What's wrong? Is it a guy?" Buffy inquired. Of course its not a guy stupid.
Dawn chuckled at her sister's question- a guy. "Buffy, you're the only one in the world who thinks guys are something that's worth every single thought of yours. Take for example your souled vamp in LA. you're the only one who gives him the time of day." She said calmly as she stared coldly into her sister's eyes. Now that would get her off me.
What? How dare she bring Angel into this. "Don't bring him in this. And don't bring me into this." She ordered.
"But don't you like that Buffy? Don't you like the world revolving around YOU? I mean you make such a big deal about YOUR petty problems bringing everyone to how you feel." She stated as cold as before.
"That's cold, Dawn. This isn't you. Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?" Buffy replied hurt.
"What's wrong? What's wrong! Everything is wrong!!! Everything in my life is wrong." She said screaming.
"Everything?" Buffy asked confused.
"Are you deaf?" she asked coldly "I said everything. Everything is wrong in my life, but see YOU will NEVER see that, because you're Buffy the Slayer, the WHOLE world revolves around you. To you, just because you save this world on a freakin daily basis, you're the only entitled to feel happy, sad, angry, alone. I swear you're such a selfish person nothing is wrong with others because you think that you're all that, well guess what my life is crap right now. And you have no idea how I feel, I lost my own mother, I thought I found friends when you were gone. selfish isn't it but face the facts, their just doing this because of all the things you've done for them."
Buffy couldn't believe what her sister was telling her, she was depressed. And she thought she was actually doing well with Dawn, that was bull. How could I have been so blind? Spike, who else?
"C'mon Dawn, Xand, Will, Anya and Giles all love you." She tried aimlessly convincing her sister but it was pretty obvious what she just said fell on deaf ears.
"Cut the crap Buffy. I know and you know that their 'friendship', if you could even call it that is nothing because their only hanging out with poor little Dawnie because of all the things that has happened to her. Oh and don't forget that her sister happens to save their lives every night. I'm not dumb, Buffy, nor innocent, I'd rather join a cult than be with you. You know why? At least then I could die, go back to swirly ol' me and have no feelings, no recollection of how much hell you put me through." She said this calmly enunciating each word to emphasize how much she's loathing big sis'.
"Is that really what you want?" Buffy asked coldly, trying to calm herself down but failing. Get a grip this conversation wont go anywhere if you don't calm down. Screw that! I cant believe she's blaming me, I didn't do anything.
"You want to know what I want? I want to be away from you, you and your stuck up friends, from pain. I. Want. To. Be. AWAY. From. YOU. I want to be away from you and this hell hole we call SUNNYHELL!!" she screamed while tears started streaming down her face.
With that Buffy lost all control. "How dare you? I gave up practically everything to just to keep you and you throw this shit in my face. I think I'm starting to see who's the one that is self-centered here."
"Why don't you shut up! The only thing you gave up was your precious time, time that you'd gladly use jumping you two vampires. You do so much, as you keep on insisting, because you're the Slayer- its your duty, be good, care for others when really your just a narcissistic bitch probably worse than Cordelia at least she admitted it. YOU, you hide behind this mask where you're a good person, loving sister, holding the weight of the world on her shoulders. And don't forget the other reason you want to keep me because you feel guilty, and the 'almighty Buffy' shouldn't feel guilt because she's too good for that. You're guilty that your sister is stuck here with you and living a hell of a life because you're the Slayer and to cover that up you do all the sisterly things just to forget that you're the reason she's suffering right now. See Buffy, all your actions revolve around you." All this was said calm and coldly.
Then Buffy slapped her. "You're the narcissist Dawn. You should be more grateful for all the things I've done for you." Tears started to run down her face as she said this.
Dawn held the cheek that her sister just slapped, stared directly at her cold green eyes and said in a whisper "I hate you. Go to hell." eyes showing her feelings.
"Remember Dawn, I was already dead, then you resurrected me." Buffy proclaimed.
Dawn turned around and ran, ran away from everything that reminded her of anguish, Buffy. Looking at her reminded her of how her life is so bad, how she lost the one thing in this world that actually loved her, how she never got to connect with the people here, how her life was meaningless except for the fact where she brings hell and destruction to the world.
"Dawn!"